


Six Queens in One Chat

by PikaPals16



Series: Six Queens Under One Roof [12]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Anne the Sexpert, Cussing, F/F, Group chat, Implied Sexual Content, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Texting, anne and heelys equals trouble, basically just some random crap, great i had to add that, i guess?, idk - Freeform, idk what this is, oh no anne finds out about heelys, that's why i added them, the ladies will be here sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 45,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24909679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PikaPals16/pseuds/PikaPals16
Summary: beheadedbitch: f in the chat for janes sanitykitkatkittykat: fthebetteranne: fcoffeegivesmelife: fgolden: idk what u guys r doing but figuessimtheirmom: I’m still sane?beheadedbitch: oh just u wait mum
Relationships: Anne Boleyn/Catherine of Aragon, Anne of Cleves/Jane Seymour, Katherine Howard/Catherine Parr
Series: Six Queens Under One Roof [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707313
Comments: 269
Kudos: 287





	1. it all begins here

**Author's Note:**

> golden—Catherine  
> beheadedbitch—Anne  
> iguessimtheirmom—Jane  
> thebetteranne—Anna  
> kitkatkittykat—Kat  
> coffeegivesmelife—Cath

_ kitkatkittykat added golden, beheadedbitch, iguessimtheirmom, thebetteranne, and coffeegivesmelife into a group chat. _

_ kitkatkittykat renamed the group chat ‘henry is a bitch _

**coffeegivesmelife:** kitty ily but what the hell is this?

**kitkatkittykat:** …..a group chat? duh

_ thebetteranne renamed the group chat ‘shithead is a bitch’ _

**thebetteranne:** his name shall never be spoken in this chat

**golden:** agreed

**iguessimtheirmom:** Could we remove the cursing from the gc name?

**thebetteranne:** ew proper grammar

_ kitkatkittykat renamed the group chat ‘craphead is a female dog’ _

**kitkatkittykat:** better mum?

**iguessimtheirmom:** Yes, thank you Kat! :)

**beheadedbitch:** @thebetteranne wth is ur user?

**thebetteranne:** the truth

**beheadedbitch:** anyway, im sure we needed this

**golden:** what do we need it for though?

**kitkatkittykat:** it’s for whenever someone wants to contact all of us

**iguessimtheirmom:** Good idea Kat!

**beheadedbitch:** janes good grammar is killing me

**thebetteranne:** rt

**iguessimtheirmom:** What? I like it.

**coffeegivesmelife:** jane, i am a writer

**coffeegivesmelife:** even i dont use grammar when texting

**iguessimtheirmom:** I am not changing it.

**iguessimtheirmom:** You’ll all just have to deal with it.

**beheadedbitch:** f in the chat for janes sanity

**kitkatkittykat:** f

**thebetteranne:** f

**coffeegivesmelife:** f

**golden:** idk what u guys r doing but f

**iguessimtheirmom:** I’m still sane?

**beheadedbitch:** oh just u wait mum

**kitkatkittykat:** lemme ask u this mum

**kitkatkittykat:** is whats happening rn a bit crazy?

**iguessimtheirmom:** Honestly, yes.

**thebetteranne:** its gonna get a lot worse

**golden:** thats only gonna happen bc of u three

**coffeegivesmelife:** we’re not in person, pls elaborate

**golden:** kat, anne, and anna

**golden:** u only cause trouble bc ur dating one of the beheaded cousins

**kitkatkittykat:** HEY!

**beheadedbitch:** HEY

**coffeegivesmelife:** *Ship Prank War ™*

**thebetteranne:** oh snap

**golden:** we

**golden:** we dont talk about it

**thebetteranne:** oh i think we should

**golden:** not unless u want to weed my garden

**thebetteranne:** …….

**kitkatkittykat:** HA!

**beheadedbitch:** annas screwed

**coffeegivesmelife:** f in the chat for anna

**kitkatkittykat:** f

**beheadedbitch:** f

**golden:** i still don’t know what this is but f

**coffeegivesmelife:** ha lol

**golden:** still wanna talk about it @thebetteranne ?

**thebetteranne:** im good thx

**iguessimtheirmom:** Now I see why you were all like “Save Jane’s sanity.”

**iguessimtheirmom:** This is a mess.

**beheadedbitch:** thx i try my best

**coffeegivesmelife:** SEE @golden UR GF IS WORSE THAN MINE!

**golden:** shut up or i will make u weed instead

**kitkatkittykat:** abhpewosigoahp

**kitkatkittykat:** lol

**beheadedbitch:** lol

|

/\

**thebetteranne:** stop.

**iguessimtheirmom:** Yes, this is a mess

**kitkatkittykat:** GUYS SHE FORGOT A PERIOD IT’S WORKING!

**iguessimtheirmom:** Omg, just….

**iguessimtheirmom:** *facepalms*


	2. which fruit r u?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: talks about anne's depression for a tiny bit

**coffeegivesmelife:** GUYS FROM NOW ON I AM CATHERINE PEAR

**kitkatkittykat:** CATHY I SAID IM SORRY

**beheadedbitch:** what the hell is going on?

**beheadedbitch:** guys im busy

**iguessimtheirmom:** Busy doing what?

**beheadedbitch:** stuff

**golden:** seriously, what is going on?

**coffeegivesmelife:** KITTY CALLED ME CATHY PEAR!

**kitkatkittykat:** I SAID IM SORRYYYYY

**beheadedbitch:** u did what?

**kitkatkittykat:** i called her cathy pear on accident…

**beheadedbitch:** PFFF HAHAH

**golden:** may i ask how?

**kitkatkittykat:** i was in the kitchen eating a pear

**kitkatkittykat:** when cathy came downstairs i yelled:

**kitkatkittykat:** “now introducing the beautiful cathy pear!”

**kitkatkittykat:** then her jaw dropped, then she closed it

**kitkatkittykat:** then she went back upstairs and locked herself in her room

**iguessimtheirmom:** Oh, I’m sorry Kat.

**iguessimtheirmom:** Cath, do you think you could let her in?

**coffeegivesmelife:** There’s n-n-n-n-n-n-no way

(a couple seconds later)

**beheadedbitch:** wehere’s anna?

**coffeegivesmelife:** wehere’s

**beheadedbitch:** shut up

**golden:** she has that big test thing at her job remember?

**iguessimtheirmom:** speaking of which, everyone’s found a comfortable time schedule to both work AND do the show correct?

**kitkatkittykat:** yes mum

**kitkatkittykat:** also

**kitkatkittykat:** we’ve barely had this chat and ur already forgetting to capitalize

**beheadedbitch:** we did that

**beheadedbitch:** we’re amazing

**golden:** idk how to respond to that

**beheadedbitch:** just accept the compliment

(a couple of minutes later)

**thebetteranne:** if cath is a pear, then whats everyone else?

**kitkatkittykat:** ANNA WHYYYYYYY

**thebetteranne:** what?

**kitkatkittykat:** she was just bout to forgive meeeeeeeee!!!!

**thebetteranne:** welp sorry

**beheadedbitch:** i vote lina is a pineapple

**golden:** wth

**golden:** y am i a pineapple?

**beheadedbitch:** bc ur like really sweet but also sour and u add a rlly unique taste to different dishes and ur rlly pokey on the outside but on the inside ur rlly soft and amazing!

**golden:** i….

**golden:** im shook.

**coffeegivesmelife:** shooketh*

**golden:** anne im on my lunch break and im coming over

**beheadedbitch:** :) <3

**iguessimtheirmom:** I didn’t expect to be smothered in Aralyn fluff when I opened the chat

**iguessimtheirmom:** .

**thebetteranne:** dangit i thought u were gonna forget the period

**iguessimtheirmom:** Well thankfully I didn’t.

**coffeegivesmelife:** HA there’s no comma!

**coffeegivesmelife:** u’ll be one of us before u know it

**thebetteranne:** so catherines a pineapple

**thebetteranne:** cath is a pear

**kitkatkittykat** : im an orange

**golden:** why?

**iguessimtheirmom:** CATHEIRNEI OF ARAGON KEEP UR FIJCKING EYSE TON THE ROAD EFOERI HAVETO DRIVE U TO THE HOSPITAL!!!

**golden:** there’s a train

**golden:** im waiting for a train

**iguessimtheirmom:** Oh thank god.

**golden:** have some faith in me would you?

**beheadedbitch:** guys if we wanna speed up breaking up janes good gramar, we gotta trigger her protective mom energy more often

**thebetteranne:** try that and i will personaolly kill u

**coffeegivesmelife:** personaolly

**iguessimtheirmom:** Wait, I thought you preferred bad spelling?

**coffeegivesmelife:** typos r one thing

**coffeegivesmelife:** perfect grammar is another

**beheadedbitch:** anyway kat y r u an orange?

**kitkatkittykat:** bc they’re sweet and have a kinda thick peel thats like my outside image cuz it looks like im fine and inside im very squishy and fragile

**coffeegivesmelife:** good description but no

**kitkatkittykat:** y?

**coffeegivesmelife:** bc i love u

**coffeegivesmelife:** but i hate oranges

**thebetteranne:** how in the world do you not like oranges??

**coffeegivesmelife:** shrug

**kitkatkittykat:** fine then im a banana. same reason

**beheadedbitch:** r bananas squishy and fragile tho?

**kitkatkittykat:** shhhhhhh

**thebetteranne:** jane is a blueberry bc no one pays attention to the fact that blueberries r purple

**golden:** yes

**iguessimtheirmom:** EYSR

**iguessimtheirmom:** RAOD

**golden:** red light

**iguessimtheirmom:** I DOANT FAIOCJKING CAREA IFA ITS NOT A TRAIGN OR TRADFFIC KEP UR EYES ON THE FUIGNKN RAOD

**golden:** gtg

**iguessimtheirmom:** Anyway. @thebetteranne im fine with that

**kitkatkittykat:** anna is a dragonfruit bc she’s that unique

**coffeegivesmelife:** agreed

**beheadedbitch:** wtf is a dragonfruit?

**thebetteranne:** wth?

**thebetteranne:** _ [picture attached] _

**thebetteranne:** im buying some later and u will try it

**iguessimtheirmom:** pls do

**kitkatkittykat:** GUYS she forgot both that time!

**beheadedbitch:** whoa it looks so normal

**kitkatkittykat:** ikr

**iguessimtheirmom:** You can stop now.

**coffeegivesmelife:** catherine- pineapple

anna- dragonfruit

jane- blueberry

kat- banana

anne- ???

**beheadedbitch:** im a tomato bc i shouldnt be part of the group

**coffeegivesmelife:** i……

**golden:** Anne Millie Boleyn.

**kitkatkittykat:** oof

**thebetteranne:** catherine pls tell me ur with anne now

**iguessimtheirmom:** i hope she is

(aka a couple of seconds)

**coffeegivesmelife:** where’d they go?

**golden:** ANNE MILLIE BOLEYN GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE IM GOING TO SMOTHER YOU IN CUDDLES

**thebetteranne:** a chaotic soft has entered the chat

**beheadedbitch:** NO I DONT DESERVE IT

**kitkatkittykat:** a disaster bi has entered the chat

**golden:** yes you do i dont care what the lizard-spiders are saying to u i love u so much now get over here so i can comfort you

**beheadedbitch:** …….ok

**iguessimtheirmom:** @golden , what are lizard-spiders?

**golden:** it’s what anne calls her voices

**golden:** in other words her depression

**iguessimtheirmom:** Okay, thank you.

**thebetteranne:** i hereby decree anne boleyn a tomato

**kitkatkittykat:** not because she doesn’t belong,

**thebetteranne:** but bc she is the most special!

**beheadedbitch:** you guys are too much

**beheadedbitch:** <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

**coffeegivesmelife:** <3

**iguessimtheirmom:** <3

**thebetteranne:** <3

**kitkatkittykat:** <3

**golden:** <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

**kitkatkittykat:** cathy?

**coffeegivesmelife:** yea?

**kitkatkittykat:** can you forgive me for calling u cathy pear now?

**coffeegivesmelife:** i forgave u a while ago kitty

**beheadedbitch:** HAHHA

**kitkatkittykat:** WTH YOU LITTLE

**thebetteranne:** kvhpaiogehi

**kitkatkittykat:** im coming over unlock ur door!!

**golden:** kat is a cat

**thebetteranne:** stating the obvious?

**golden:** restating a well-known fact


	3. what is kittycath/parrward doing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this happens a bit after ze previous chapter but still ze same day
> 
> *also for both chapters cath and kat were left home alone if that wasn't obvious already

**thebetteranne:** FGHPEROIGHSPIOGHG

**beheadedbitch:** all caps keyboard smash? not good

**thebetteranne:** AOIGNIOSVNDSOIZGOIW

**golden:** and she did it twice.

**iguessimtheirmom:** what’s wrong?

**thebetteranne:** KAT AND CATH R FUCKING

**thebetteranne:** or r very close to it

**beheadedbitch:** WHAT THE HELL?

**thebetteranne:** i walk in the door to drop off the dragonfruit

**thebetteranne:** and i hear a very suspicious amount of shuffling

**iguessimtheirmom:** They could just be getting something?

**thebetteranne:** no, but there are whimpers

**thebetteranne:** OMG

**golden:** what now?

**thebetteranne:** im walking up the stairs and i hear a moan

**thebetteranne:** a fucking moan

**beheadedbitch:** again.

**beheadedbitch:** WHAT THE HELL?

**thebetteranne:** omg cath just asked if she could touch her

**thebetteranne:** like in THAT way

**beheadedbitch:** WTF R U DOIGN LISTENING TO THEM STOP THEM!

**thebetteranne:** too late im out the door

**golden:** you put the dragonfruit in the fridge tho right?

**thebetteranne:** …

**golden:** right?

**thebetteranne:** shit

**iguessimtheirmom** : You can just go inside and quickly put it in the fridge.

**iguessimtheirmom:** I doubt they’ll hear you.

**thebetteranne:** ok im going in wish me luck

**beheadedbitch:** i refuse to believe that my baby cousin is losing her virginty rn

**beheadedbitch:** in this life

**golden:** anne, babe, she’s 21

**golden:** you gotta let her go at some point

**thebetteranne:** OMG THEY’RE SO LOUD AHHHHH

**beheadedbitch:** r they saying things or is it just a whole bunch of moaning?

**iguessimtheirmom:** ANNE!

**beheadedbitch:** srry mum

**thebetteranne:** moaning and sweet nothings

**thebetteranne:** im scarred this is kat and cath

**thebetteranne:** KAT AND CATH

**golden:** honestly, i don’t blame them, they’ve been dating the longest but moving the slowest

**golden:** they were bound to do it

**iguessimtheirmom:** You seem surprisingly calm

**golden:** im conserving my energy for when i get home

**beheadedbitch:** oof they screwed

**thebetteranne:** jj….

**iguessimtheirmom:** i’ll be on my lunch break by the time you get here sweetie.

**thebetteranne:** ty

**beheadedbitch:** srsly tho i almost feel bad for kitkat and cath

**beheadedbitch:** key word almost

(a while later)

**coffeegivesmelife:** wtf

**beheadedbitch:** haven’t u had enough fucking for one day?

**iguessimtheirmom** : Anne.

**beheadedbitch:** srry mum

**coffeegivesmelife:** kitty just went to her room thx a lot guys

**iguessimtheirmom:** Can you get in?

**thebetteranne:** i dont want her getting in

**coffeegivesmelife:** im not sure i want to now…

**iguessimtheirmom:** Cath what do you mean?

**iguessimtheirmom:** Cath?

**iguessimtheirmom:** Cath?

**golden:** great now my plan’s backfired

**beheadedbitch:** vwat vwas zis plan?

**thebetteranne:** @beheadedbitch not how german works sweetie

**beheadedbitch:** shhhhhhhh

**golden:** they’re so clingy my plan was to punish them by forcing them apart for a long time

**iguessimtheirmom:** And now you can’t because they’re separated themselves.

**golden:** i just got home and cath is curled up on the couch

**golden:** and im assuming kat is curled up in her room

**iguessimtheirmom:** I’m omw home, so we can figure this out.

**beheadedbitch:** u do know they can see this?

_ thebetteranne added iguessimtheirmom, golden, and beheadedbitch into a group chat _

_ thebetteranne renamed the group chat ‘save parrward/kittycath’ _

_ thebetteranne changed multiple user names _

**redstrawberry:** and now they cant

**greenbean:** ok cool but wtf r these users anna?

**redstrawberry:** i like my chats to have separate names tyvm

**therernosilverproduce:** Um, darling, what’s tyvm?

**greenbean:** *facepalm*

**redstrawberry:** thank you very much

**therernosilverproduce:** Okay, thx!

**goldenpinapple:** y am i still a pineapple?

**goldenpinapple:** u even spelled it wrong

**redstrawberry:** bc anne made an absolute amazing point and u will forever be a pineapple

**greenbean:** thx but can we get back to our main point?

**greenbean:** my baby cousin just lost her virginity

**therernosilverproduce:** You were so happy when we went to the club and she drank.

**greenbean:** that’s different

**redstrawberry:** _ [video attached] _

**goldenpinapple:** “omg my baby cousin is all grown up im so proud!!”

**greenbean:** …

**greenbean:** COME ON!!

**greenbean:** lina rn’t u a little on edge that cath just had sex with kat?

**goldenpinapple:** what they do in their relationship isn’t up to us

**goldenpinapple:** but either way, im sure both of them r responsible enough to be safe with it

**goldenpinapple:** they care a lot about consent--both of them r a lot more sensitive to the topic than we r

**goldenpinapple:** so tho yes, it is hard to think about, im not worried

**redstrawberry:** *wiping tears away*

**redstrawberry:** that was fuckin beautiful

**therernosilverproduce:** I think Catherine has a point.

**therernosilverproduce:** We shouldn’t have freaked out, and we certainly shouldn’t be freaking out now.

**redstrawberry:** agrred

**goldenpinapple:** agreed*

**greenbean:** okay now im calm

**greenbean:** but they’re still avoiding each other

**goldenpinapple:** right.

**redstrawberry:** how to fix this?

_ cathybear sent a private message to kitten _

**cathybear:** so should we tell them we’re only avoiding each other bc their home and dont wanna accidentally start making out in front of them?

**kitten:** nah

**kitten:** let them worry

**kitten:** but……

**cathybear:** love, ik we didn’t finish, im hot and bothered too…

**cathybear:** however….

**kitten:** …...yeah?

**cathybear:** i think you like it…

**kitten:** stop flirting with me over text ur making me more bothered!!

(a couple of seconds)

**kitten:** i need to finish

**cathybear:** already on it.

_ coffeegivesmelife sent a message to ‘craphead is a female dog’ _

**coffeegivesmelife:** i suggest everyone not come to the house

**coffeegivesmelife:** and in catherine’s case, i suggest u leave

**thebetteranne:** and y pray tell do u propose such a thing?

**kitkatkittykat:** we didn’t finish

**beheadedbitch:** wat?

**coffeegivesmelife:** Kitten, I said I’d handle it right?

**kitkatkittykat:** right! srry cathy

**coffeegivesmelife:** I’m not so sure you are.

**thebetteranne:** OMG GET A ROOM!

**coffeegivesmelife:** We’ll have the house once Catherine leaves.

**iguessimtheirmom:** Why is Cath using proper grammar?

**coffeegivesmelife:** omg

**coffeegivesmelife:** I’m horny okay? Kitty and I didn’t finish cuz u all started coming home and we’d very much like to finish!

**iguessimtheirmom:** Catherine, get out so they can finish?

**beheadedbitch:** do my eyes deceive me?

**thebetteranne:** no they don’t, jane just told catherine to get out so the other two can have sex

**golden:** ok, everyone calm down im in my car now

**coffeegivesmelife:** THANK YOU

**golden:** to everyone else, why don’t we just head to the mall?

**iguessimtheirmom:** Sure!

**thebetteranne:** im down, riding w jane

**beheadedbitch:** pick me up?

**beheadedbitch:** u might have to wait a bit tho we’re almost done here

**golden:** ofc mi amor

**thebetteranne:** @kitkatkittykat @coffeegivesmelife have fun adn be safe!

**iguessimtheirmom:** Anna, stop pestering them.

**thebetteranne:** srry babe

_ cathybear sent a private message to kitten _

**cathybear:** My room.

**kitten:** i dont wanna mooooovveeee

**cathybear:** Now, or I’m not helping you.

**kitten:** OMW OMW!

**cathybear:** ;) <3

**kitten:** :3 <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what this is it just happened


	4. theatre kid chaos (ft. grind)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the grind joke came from my actual group chat in 8th grade (for time references, i'm a sophomore in the fall)
> 
> i couldn't find the actual conversation so here's my terrible recreation of it
> 
> (and then i decided to add some ddlc references cuz y the heck not?)

_slime sent a message to ‘we bring ze chaos’_

**slime:** so in sincerely me

**confetti:** YES DEH

**tnt:** guys wth its 3 am

**confetti:** remember i took that rlly long nap?

 **confetti:** thats y

**tnt:** ok. anne?

**slime:** lizard-spiders r bitches

**tnt:** …..anne?

**confetti:** annie wanna come in my room?

**slime:** in a bit

**confetti:** kk

**slime:** but back to this

**tnt:** sincerely me?

**slime:** yes so u know how it says if i stop smoking crack

**confetti:** CRACK?

**tnt:** if i stop smoking pot then everything might be alriiiiiiiiight

**slime:** i was thinking….

 **slime:** what if u cracked a pot while like stupid drunk so u take it

**confetti:** omfg

**tnt:** well if u crack a pot the pieces would be too big

 **tnt:** soooo

**confetti:** omfg wth u guys

**slime:** i dont see u contributing

**confetti:** fine if u cant take pot when its cracked

 **confetti:** u grind it

**tnt:** YES

 **tnt:** SHES BEEN CRACKED

**slime:** grinded*

**confetti:** we love this chat

**tnt:** we rlly do

**slime:** no one speak of this conversation

**tnt:** ah yes ze inside jokes

**confetti:** okie doki

**slime:** DOKI DOKI

**tnt:** y in the world do u know that game u r hurting child

**slime:** i found it when the voices first hit

 **slime:** probably not the best decision but i fucking love the game and natsuki okay?

**tnt:** not sayori?

**slime:** i related to sayori first

 **slime:** but natsuki my fav

**confetti:** …..

 **confetti:** MONIKA BEST DOKI

**tnt:** wtf dude

**slime:** wdym monika best doki shes the fucking bad guy

**tnt:** bad girl* OR antagonist

**slime:** same difference wise girl

**confetti:** guys shes not bad just misunderstoooooooood

 **confetti:** like imagine u found out the world was just 1s and 0s

 **confetti:** ud be desperate for another option

 **confetti:** SHE WAS HURTING

**tnt:** id beg to differ

 **tnt:** but im tired

 **tnt:** dont get high

**slime:** i wouldnt take grind without u fam

**confetti:** wat bout me?

**slime:** u can have a little bit

 **slime:** but no high

**confetti:** ughhhh

**tnt:** when the time comes we can share kat

**confetti:** :))))))))

**slime:** thats a lot of double chins

**tnt:** OKAY GOODNIGHT

(the next day when everyone’s doing their own thing [aka work or other stuff outside the house, idk])

_coffeegivesmelife sent a message to ‘craphead is a female dog’_

**coffeegivesmelife:** guys anna is passed out help

**kitkatkittykat:** ANNIE SHE DID GRIND WITHOUT US!

**golden:** im sorry, what?

**beheadedbitch:** that little bitch!

**coffeegivesmelife:** what is going on?

**iguessimtheirmom** : girls i’m sure it’s fine, she probably got a bit too exhausted when she went jogging.

**beheadedbitch:** ….

 **beheadedbitch:** kitkat r we sure annas the only one cuz mum just texted w/o caps

**kitkatkittykat:** but how could she take the grind if she doesnt know what it is?

**golden:** r you three doing drugs???

**beheadedbitch:** its not drugs lina

 **beheadedbitch:** its grind

**kitkatkittykat:** its better than drugs, catherine

**thebetteranne:** ITS FROM JAPAAAAAAAAAN!

**coffeegivesmelife:** well she’s awake

**iguessimtheirmom:** i’m a bit tired myself that’s why i’m not capitalizing.

**beheadedbitch:** this is progress we need to keep her like this

**iguessimtheirmom:** rude.

**thebetteranne:** WHEN MY SON WAS NEWLY BORN, I DIED

**kitkatkittykat:** BUT IM NOT WHAT I SEEM OR AM I?

**thebetteranne:** STICK AROUND AND U’LL SUDDENLY SEYMOUR!

**coffeegivesmelife:** its backwards and i luv it

**golden:** is anna just gonna keep bursting into song?

 **golden:** i thought that was anne’s job

**beheadedbitch:** u have no idea

 **beheadedbitch:** i can resist for ur sanity

**thebetteranne:** anne has more power than i

**kitkatkittykat:** catherine whatever u do, dont challenge her

**golden:** why?

**coffeegivesmelife:** i challenged anne before and she didn’t stop for 3 days

**iguessimtheirmom:** ……...3 days?

**coffeegivesmelife:** Yes.

**kitkatkittykat:** proper grammar u know she’s serious

**golden:** i don’t believe this

**thebetteranne:** CATHERINE DONT DO IT

**golden:** anne, prove it

**kitkatkittykat:** QUICK F IN THE CHAT

**coffeegivesmelife:** F

**thebetteranne:** F

**iguessimtheirmom:** F?

**beheadedbitch:** F

**thebetteranne:** even anne knows how annoyed catherine’s gonna be

**beheadedbitch:** CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

**coffeegivesmelife:** will this affect aralyn at all? find out next episode!

(a couple secs)

**iguessimtheirmom:** nothing’s happening?

**coffeegivesmelife:** she waits for a setup, and rarely does she expand outside of her faves

**kitkatkittykat:** i swear if we get one more heathers song,

**beheadedbitch:** HEATHER! HEATHER! HEATHER! AND SOMEONE!

**thebetteranne:** wrong move Besteline

**golden:** this is just normal anne?

**coffeegivesmelife:** no, she’s getting warmed up

**kitkatkittykat:** all we can do is watch

**beheadedbitch:** WATCH WATCH WATCHING PPL PASS!

 **beheadedbitch:** WAVING THROW A WINDOWWWWWW

**kitkatkittykat:** dangit

**iguessimtheirmom:** does she continue in real life?

**coffeegivesmelife:** she didn’t for me

**thebetteranne:** c a t h e r i n e challenged her

 **thebetteranne:** she’s going to

**beheadedbitch:** i actually wasn’t but now that you mention it….

**thebetteranne:** wait what?

 **thebetteranne:** shit

**beheadedbitch:** now MY GRAND PLAN

 **beheadedbitch:** IS THAT I WILL BE REMEMBERED

**kitkatkittykat:** she sounds like she’s on grind

**thebetteranne:** agreed

**beheadedbitch:** grind? Pot

 **beheadedbitch:** IF I STOP SMOKING POT THEN EVERYTHING MIGHT BE ALRIGHT!

**coffeegivesmelife:** kitty! anna! stop talking

**golden:** that one wasn’t even a direct reference??

**coffeegivesmelife:** oh yea she’ll do that

**iguessimtheirmom:** this is going to take a while….

**beheadedbitch:** maybe…

 **beheadedbitch:** 525,600 MINUTES!!

**golden:** what have i done?

**kitkatkittykat:** grind

**thebetteranne:** grind

**coffeegivesmelife:** omg what even is grind just tell me!

**beheadedbitch:** TELL ME MORE! TELL ME MORE!

 **beheadedbitch:** WHAT IT LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?!

**golden:** omfg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was originally going to focus on the grind joke but the theatre kid energy just came out of no where hehe
> 
> any requests/suggestions are totally welcome!


	5. theatre kid chaos pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only jane is out for today. y? idk just go with it
> 
> also angst???????

**beheadedbitch:** HELLO! MY NAME IS ELDER PRICE!

**golden:** ughhhhhhh

**thebetteranne:** id say i told u so but….

**kitkatkittykat:** we warned u

**iguessimtheirmom:** guys, i’m not dead, i’m just in a meeting alright?

 **iguessimtheirmom:** don’t worry about me

**kitkatkittykat:** im not the only one who sees that mum just texted w o caps right?

**thebetteranne:** oh yea, were getting to her

 **thebetteranne:** she and i were texting last night and she didnt use it then either

**kitkatkittykat:** okie

**golden:** where’s cath?

**beheadedbitch:** SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW

**kitkatkittykat:** brb

**thebetteranne:** wonder what shes doin

 **thebetteranne:** KATHERINE HOWARD WTH WAS THAT?

**beheadedbitch:** NO ONE ELSE WAS IN THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENED

**golden:** i hear running whats happening??

**coffeegivesmelife:** KITTY WHAT THE HELL?!

**kitkatkittykat:** Go to sleep earlier.

 **kitkatkittykat:** And maybe i won’t wake you up like that.

**coffeegivesmelife:** nice try but u forgot to capitalize the i

**kitkatkittykat:** Do I care?

**thebetteranne:** catherine interpret pls

 **thebetteranne:** r they flirting over text?

**golden:** why r you asking me?

**beheadedbitch:** guys come on

 **beheadedbitch:** YOU MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY THE TRIP

**kitkatkittykat:** wait what musical is that??

**beheadedbitch:** Bring It On

**thebetteranne:** ….the movies?

**beheadedbitch:** no, the movies suck

 **beheadedbitch:** IT’S. A. MUSICAL! A MUSICAL! AND NOTHING’S AS AMAZING AS A MUSICAL!

**golden:** it concerns me that i recognize the song…

**beheadedbitch:** OH HAPPY DAY!

**coffeegivesmelife:** honestly did not expect her to bring out sister act

**thebetteranne:** no one did

**kitkatkittykat:** i forget, how long has this been going on?

**golden:** today is day three

 **golden:** and i doubt she’s stopping anytime soon

**thebetteranne:** we warned u

**golden:** i know u did shut up

**beheadedbitch:** SHUT UP HEATHER!

**coffeegivesmelife:** anna let her rant

 **coffeegivesmelife:** u let me rant to u when anne did it to me

**kitkatkittykat:** excuse me?

 **kitkatkittykat:** u ranted to me!!

**coffeegivesmelife:** i ranted to both of u

**beheadedbitch:** lina just

 **beheadedbitch:** LET IT OUT! LET IT OUT! LET IT OUT!

**thebetteranne:** where tf is that from?

**beheadedbitch:** THE GUYS WHO DIDN’T LIKE MUSICALS

 **beheadedbitch:** (didn’t like didn’t like didn’t like a like ‘em)

**thebetteranne:** what the fuck?

**beheadedbitch:** how’d you know that was the next line??

**kitkatkittykat:** THAT’S THE NEXT LINE??

**coffeegivesmelife:** omg that musical keeps popping up on my feed

 **coffeegivesmelife:** there’s a whole bunch of original musicals w official videos of the entire thing

**kitkatkittykat:** so like

 **kitkatkittykat:** legal bootlegs?

**coffeegivesmelife:** yeah?

**thebetteranne:** LINK IN CHAT NOW MY BRO

**coffeegivesmelife:** okay okay

 **coffeegivesmelife:** <https://www.youtube.com/user/StarKidPotter>

**kitkatkittykat:** they have a harry potter musical?

**beheadedbitch:** HERMIONE CAN’T DRAW

**thebetteranne:** not just one they have three

**coffeegivesmelife:** oh god they have an aladdin parody

**beheadedbitch:** I JUST WANTED TO HAVE A COAT MADE OUT OF PUPPIES

**thebetteranne:** WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT IN THERE?

**kitkatkittykat:** animal cruelty

**coffeegivesmelife:** wheres catherine?

**beheadedbitch:** WALKING A TIGHTROPE

**kitkatkittykat:** dont that made me cry i stg

**thebetteranne:** i just peeked in her room

 **thebetteranne:** she’s reading the chat

 **thebetteranne:** but she’s smashing her face into a pillow

**coffeegivesmelife:** dapvoewihfio

**kitkatkittykat:** omg

**beheadedbitch:** oh lina ur still reading this?

 **beheadedbitch:** DON’T LOSE UR HEAD

**kitkatkittykat:** no now she’s using six :(((

**thebetteranne:** i ran away before catherine caught me

**beheadedbitch:** i would fight for you

 **beheadedbitch:** IF U WOULD FIGHT FOR MEEEEEE

**coffeegivesmelife:** anne when will this end?

**beheadedbitch:** IT’S THE HARD WAY

 **beheadedbitch:** BUT IT’S THE RIGHT WAY!

**kitkatkittykat:** translation: she wont say

**thebetteranne:** but like:

 **thebetteranne:** what if it was just aralyn home alone rn?

**beheadedbitch:** @golden

 **beheadedbitch:** WHAT IF IT’S US AND ONLY US 

**golden:** Boleyn just shut up before I stop talking to you!

**beheadedbitch:** …..

**kitkatkittykat:** uhh catherine?

**golden:** yeah?

**thebetteranne:** bad move dude

**coffeegivesmelife:** u even used her last name…

**golden:** anne?

**beheadedbitch:**.

**golden:** anne?

**beheadedbitch:**.

_golden added coffeegivesmelife, thebetteranne, and kitkatkittykat into a group chat_

_golden renamed the group chat ‘HELP I MESSED UP’_

**golden:** SHIT!

**kitkatkittykat:** annies version of leaving someone on read

_thebetteranne changed multiple user names_

**red:** it sucks man

**gold:** well what do u propose i do??

**blue:** u should start by saying that u underestimated her

 **blue:** at least that’s what i did

**pink:** no.

**blue:** no?

**red:** kat thats wat u do

 **red:** u boost her confidence by saying shes right

**gold:** GUYS WHAT DO I DO??

**pink:** u gotta figure that out urself

 **pink:** u and anne have a rlly close bond cuz not only did u meet in ur past life, ur dating in this one

 **pink:** and u hit a rlly bad mark for her

 **pink:** not to mention ur the one she trusts most when her depression hits rlly bad

**gold:** thank you for the boost….

**pink:** u gotta hear it tho

 **pink:** she trusts u like a ton and hitting that mark hits that trust

 **pink:** this advice is coming from the girl who got betrayed to the extreme x4

**blue:** kitty…..

**pink:** im fine

 **pink:** we gotta speak the truth

**blue:** if u say so…

**pink:** anyway my advice to u catherine

 **pink:** let her know how much u care about her

 **pink:** then apologize

 **pink:** but like do it in that amazing way that i have no idea how u do it but it makes anne feel better

**red:** no one knows how u do it

 **red:** u just do it

**gold:** its nothing different then what u guys do?

**blue:** then it’s probably bc it comes from u then

 **blue:** ur special

**gold:** whatever u say

**pink:** go apologize now

**gold:** thx guys

 **gold:** especially u kat

**pink:** :) <3

**red:** lets be honest it was all kat

**blue:** and moment ruined

_lina sent a private message to bo_

**lina:** anne?

**bo:**.

**lina:** that’s fine.

 **lina:** i just hope u can forgive me

 **lina:** bo i care about you a lot

 **lina:** like a shit ton

**bo:**.

**lina:** ur the most important thing in my life

 **lina:** i wouldn’t give you up for the world

**bo:**.

**lina:** that being said…

 **lina:** i’m really sorry

 **lina:** if i could take it back i would

 **lina:** but the damage is done

**bo:**.

**lina:** i know i mustve hit a personal spot for you

 **lina:** and to hear it coming from me probably hurts more than normal

 **lina:** but just know i am so sorry

 **lina:** and i swear i’ll be more careful next time

 **lina:** even if u are pestering me as much as u just did

**bo:**.

**lina:** uhh let me try this..

 **lina:** what was that one song?

**bo:**?

**lina:** Words fail, words fail. There’s nothing I can say.

 **lina:** I never meant to make it such a mess, i never thought that it would go this far

**bo:** pls stop

**lina:** anne?

**bo:** stop before u make me cry.

**lina:** oh god bo i’m sorry

**bo:** u didn’t let me finish

 **bo:** stop before u make me cry bc that song is so emotional

**lina:** …

 **lina:** r u still mad?

**bo:** i wasn’t rlly mad

 **bo:** just hurt

**lina:** i’m sorry

**bo:** stop apologizing

 **bo:** pls

**lina:** ok

**bo:** can u open ur door pls?

**lina:** alright bo

 **lina:** i love you

**bo:** i love you too

_iguessimtheirmom sent a message to ‘craphead is a female dog’_

**iguessimtheirmom:** guys what happened???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this chapter was kinda a downer, but if anyone has some more theatre references they thought of while reading this, tell me and i'll add it in! (pls state musical as well if u do)


	6. the fandom (aka us)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all pictures attached r actually links so click to check them out!! but not the video srry :(
> 
> but if anyone has a link to a video of aimie tackling maiya then pls send

**kitkatkittykat:** _[[picture attached]](https://66.media.tumblr.com/03598c36f3f28997ca8b603bff8a6b69/2b32770af05fc850-2b/s640x960/853949ad28af6c9aa30a9ffc947506a99e0ee77b.png) _

**kitkatkittykat:** guys what the actual heck?

**thebetteranne:**....is this u and me getting married?

**kitkatkittykat:** yes

**beheadedbitch:** fandoms can be so weird

 **beheadedbitch:** but what the hell

**golden:** we even told them who's dating who in that one interview

**iguessimtheirmom:** guys it's probably their own preference.

**kitkatkittykat:** it's weird

 **kitkatkittykat:** anna is my best friend and bro i wouldn't fall in love with her

**coffeegivesmelife:** what is their user?

**kitkatkittykat:** cathy im not letting u attack that poor fan

**coffeegivesmelife:** u r MY girlfriend!

 **coffeegivesmelife:** not anna's

**thebetteranne:** cath dont worry im committed to janey

 **thebetteranne:** kats right were just friends no matter wat

**beheadedbitch:** KAT LOOK WAT I FOUND ON TUMBLR

 **beheadedbitch:** _[[picture attached]](https://66.media.tumblr.com/7a1a5d3d78e7c619c767f36daf40d6c0/6d37e2447ad03de4-ac/s640x960/7d61268dbab63c1217e10aba8562294ed9922560.jpg) _

**golden:** whoa that's rlly good art

**kitkatkittykat:** OMG THAT'S SO COOL!!

**thebetteranne:** do they have art for divorced and died/survived?

**beheadedbitch:** no idea i was scrolling through beheaded cousins stuff

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm still surprised at how much content our fandom makes.

**coffeegivesmelife:** oh ewwww

**kitkatkittykat:** wat?

**coffeegivesmelife:** anyone know archive of our own?

**thebetteranne:** uh hell yea

**coffeegivesmelife:** the top relationship tag for six is anne boleyn/catherine parr

**golden:** uh hell no

**kitkatkittykat:** right there with u catherine 

**iguessimtheirmom:** our fandom is quite strange.

 **iguessimtheirmom:** and as much as i love our pairings now, i can see why they'd ship some things

**beheadedbitch:** ok explain to me y there r 149 fics that ship me with cath?

 **beheadedbitch:** like no offense but ew

**iguessimtheirmom:** probably from all those times cath twerks in front of you, anne.

 **iguessimtheirmom:** @kitkatkittykat @thebetteranne they probably ship you two because of how close you are as friends.

**thebetteranne:** makes sense i guess....

**golden:** i just found one with u and me, jane

**iguessimtheirmom:** motherly figures.

**coffeegivesmelife:** @iguessimtheirmom ive seen like 3 shipping u and me and a few shipping u and anne

**iguessimtheirmom:** ok i dont understand either of those.

**kitkatkittykat:** EWWWWWW

**beheadedbitch:** thats incest get that out of here

**golden:** ,.....what?

**thebetteranne:** wdym incest?

**kitkatkittykat:** wait u guys didnt know?

**beheadedbitch:** jane is also our cousin

**coffeegivesmelife:** the two of u call her mum

**iguessimtheirmom:** it doesn't bother us.

 **iguessimtheirmom:** plus, i'm their half-second cousin or something like that.

**kitkatkittykat:** but she's our first cousin in this life!

**golden:** this day keeps getting wweirder

**coffeegivesmelife:** wweirder

**golden:** shut it.

**beheadedbitch:** bgfhahahahbhahahha

 **beheadedbitch:** _[[picture attached]](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/56/01/42/560142c26194afa770c2e57423ad27fe.jpg) _

**thebetteranne:** GHPWOEIHGWOVH

**kitkatkittykat:** Y IS THIS SO TRUE?!?

**coffeegivesmelife:** am i supposed to be in the middle bc if so this is insanely accurate

**golden:** u want accurate?

 **golden:** _[[picture attached]](https://em.wattpad.com/2c6987b2328b0e59391b56424344c16a9e8fc0a2/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f45396f37786443725052426d46513d3d2d3830373830323533362e313564393466656139653434396336613537343735393238333437382e6a7067?s=fit&w=720&h=720) _

**iguessimtheirmom:** it is sad, but it is true

**kitkatkittykat:** u guys r killing me

**beheadedbitch:** _[[picture attached]](https://em.wattpad.com/9a218a2fa1195104dfad79cd71ae15188fce5a52/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f336d774c6446644f7143327341673d3d2d3836333133363130312e313630343233363166656133653561653832333438353834303038312e6a7067?s=fit&w=720&h=720) _

**coffeegivesmelife:** is aralyn competing against each other?

**thebetteranne:** who cares these memes r great send more

**golden:** _[[picture attached]](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/6e/c7/42/6ec742bf47ee7ce9dc481ce48af9de6f.jpg) _

**beheadedbitch:** OKAY THATS DIRTY

**iguessimtheirmom:** it is? i thought it was showing catherine as a small soft plush chick

**kitkatkittykat:** psahgpieow

**coffeegivesmelife:** the fact that is has a knife shows she's a chaotic soft at that

**kitkatkittykat:** wepiaghiongwjkn

**thebetteranne:** kats dying

**beheadedbitch:** _[[picture attached]](https://66.media.tumblr.com/72b6ba79e15b8ec584e965befb3329df/tumblr_pmfoye1l6E1v0xaeso1_640.png)_

**kitkatkittykat:** excuse u i do my homework!!

**golden:** _[[picture attached]](https://i.pinimg.com/474x/d6/6d/0d/d66d0d9cd1b193738eb78cf13162a717.jpg) _

**golden:** also i don't leave ppl on read like that, if anything, i'd say no

**thebetteranne:** n-n-n-n-n-n-no way!

**iguessimtheirmom:** which girl's supposed to be catherine?

**coffeegivesmelife:** they both r

**kitkatkittykat:** they both aragon*

 **kitkatkittykat:** to make room for anne

**iguessimtheirmom:** kat!

**kitkatkittykat:** srry mum

**beheadedbitch:** _[[picture attached]](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/50/59/37/5059376b579230d18644a182290e0904.jpg)_

**kitkatkittykat:** UR STUPID SONG HAUNTED ME DURING MY EXAMS!!!

 **kitkatkittykat:** THIS IS Y THIS SONG SOULD CEASE TO EXITE!

**coffeegivesmelife:** should* exist**

 **coffeegivesmelife:** and she's right

**thebetteranne:** try telling that to the millions of fans who think haus of holbein is a great song

**golden:** _[[picture attached]](https://i.redd.it/qm4aqg2aw7f41.png) _

**beheadedbitch:** FOR UR INFORMATION I WORE YELLOW TO UR FUNERAL BC IT MEANS GRIEVING IN SPAIN!

 **beheadedbitch:** U TOLD ME THAT

**golden:** and we agreed we would keep that to ourselves

**iguessimtheirmom:** awww

**kitkatkittykat:** they care so much about each otehr!!!!

**coffeegivesmelife:** otehr

**kitkatkittykat:** cathy y

**thebetteranne:** and might i add this is in their past life before they fell in love with each other

**beheadedbitch:** half true

**golden:** ANNE!

**beheadedbitch:** I GOT THE HOTTEST AND GREATEST GIRL IN THE WORLD TO DATE ME LET ME BE PROUD!!!!!

**thebetteranne:** _[[picture attached]](https://em.wattpad.com/f82e3a681957d9656155c04bba2072615add7884/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f6b4331654e416736424c765177673d3d2d3737343936333235322e313562643030336630333664623364333832323333313330353137362e6a7067?s=fit&w=720&h=720) _

**beheadedbitch:** HEY THIS IS OUR BATTLE!

**thebetteranne:** srry not srry

**kitkatkittykat:** BOUT WAT I SAID!

**iguessimtheirmom:** where r the rest of us?

**coffeegivesmelife:** taking the picture

**kitkatkittykat:** cathy to answer ur question on the first meme

 **kitkatkittykat:** _[[picture attached]](https://66.media.tumblr.com/08e1ad38f00f4091b3390d2a9d091cff/ffba6d08988652c2-91/s1280x1920/236108543b43b731086f77f103f95705fde1073f.jpg) _

**kitkatkittykat:** i found a more clear one

**coffeegivesmelife:** ahhhhhh

**thebetteranne:** this ones more accuarte

**coffeegivesmelife:** accuarte

**thebetteranne:** shut it

**iguessimtheirmom:** cath i found this cute post, kitty u might squeal

 **iguessimtheirmom:** _[[picture attached]](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/a1/93/79/a193792ab71b85c62da107e4f2d644a8.jpg) _

**beheadedbitch:** this is great

**kitkatkittykat:** AAHHHHHHHHHH

**coffeegivesmelife:** catherine help me before kitty tackles me to the ground

 **coffeegivesmelife:** again

**golden:** no thx the two of you r too cute

**coffeegivesmelife:** catherineeeeeeeeeee

**beheadedbitch:** stop it. shes my gf

**thebetteranne:** too late

 **thebetteranne:** _[video attached]_

**iguessimtheirmom:** if you switch out kat for anne and cath for catherine it's still completely believable

**thebetteranne:** i

 **thebetteranne:** i fucking love you

**iguessimtheirmom:** <3

**coffeegivesmelife:** _[[picture attached]](https://66.media.tumblr.com/3ceda45614b01e54779ed6cc4f50ef07/tumblr_pu4rz4GXKU1rtz7fto1_400.jpg) _

**golden:** _[[picture](https://em.wattpad.com/a1f7e2406d2195311597a165b2a50a002462f6f8/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f39573962327376733871477234413d3d2d3836313936383930342e313630333834343830346439336562303531303534393035393032312e6a7067?s=fit&w=720&h=720) [ attached]](https://em.wattpad.com/a1f7e2406d2195311597a165b2a50a002462f6f8/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f39573962327376733871477234413d3d2d3836313936383930342e313630333834343830346439336562303531303534393035393032312e6a7067?s=fit&w=720&h=720) _

**kitkatkittykat:** _[[picture attached]](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/26/86/9c/26869c7cfee06a00fc6b22406db0da0d.jpg) _

**iguessimtheirmom:** _[[picture attached]](https://em.wattpad.com/25daa4e9e2eb5069ac2d01c563aa667547a96527/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f563771743562565a4d39576568673d3d2d3836343733313231322e313630346635343231623035353061643837383132363236313933372e6a7067?s=fit&w=720&h=720) _

**thebetteranne:** _[[picture](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcSG7l_KxdyOGX-eJ_CKW75ZvfmjW3w1VX2lRw&usqp=CAU) [ attached]](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcSG7l_KxdyOGX-eJ_CKW75ZvfmjW3w1VX2lRw&usqp=CAU) _

**beheadedbitch:** i

 **beheadedbitch:** am

 **beheadedbitch:** so

 **beheadedbitch:** proud

 **beheadedbitch:** of

 **beheadedbitch:** my

 **beheadedbitch:** bitches

**iguessimtheirmom:** anne

**beheadedbitch:** queens*

 **beheadedbitch:** _[[picture attached]](https://66.media.tumblr.com/512c2f834201e17acc7c98f5ddf31cac/tumblr_inline_ployrd4oVl1vkhyky_1280.png) _

**kitkatkittykat:** scroll up far enough and u'll find mum cussing at catherine cuz she was texting while driving

**golden:** i was waiting for a train to pass the crossroad!!

**coffeegivesmelife:** let's just say that it's outdated, yeah?

**beheadedbitch:** yea

**kitkatkittykat:** yea

**beheadedbitch:** _[[picture attached]](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcRvEihYmU7NU0IIWRRCbRXfZ3I-lE08uXls2Q&usqp=CAU) _

**thebetteranne:** no peppa pig

**beheadedbitch:** fine bitch

 **beheadedbitch:** _[[picture attached]](https://em.wattpad.com/17c0fd7894d62524f0a6b3d7d588821b382f79af/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f73627372476969453949594d4a673d3d2d3836313936393730382e313630333834363664353563343063343239363130323438303533372e6a7067?s=fit&w=720&h=720) _

**iguessimtheirmom:** what the hell?

**coffeegivesmelife:** jane just said what the hell?

**kitkatkittykat:** omfg

**golden:** why r you guys acting so weird?

**thebetteranne:** bc this exact same thing happened irl

**beheadedbitch:** bruh srsly?

**kitkatkittykat:** WHOS STALKING US?!?

**coffeegivesmelife:** anne, distraction pls??

 **coffeegivesmelife:** srsly kitty's freaking out

**golden:** so is clevemour

**beheadedbitch:** already on it 

**beheadedbitch:** _[[picture attached]](https://66.media.tumblr.com/c697025bbe410b440e646cb90b683d6f/5178e4526877c4c3-25/s640x960/f3c1de185d4c26962b50ee9e72f9c067f50f40df.png) _

**golden:**....

**coffeegivesmelife:** oh dont tell me that happened in real life too!

**beheadedbitch:** were losing more by the minute!

**coffeegivesmelife:** uhh let me find one this time

**beheadedbitch:** hurry up before they start locking up the house

 **beheadedbitch:** theyre all curled up on the couch

**coffeegivesmelife:**....

**beheadedbitch:** cath???

**coffeegivesmelife:** _[[picture attached]](https://scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.2885-15/sh0.08/e35/s640x640/91229356_2667123813576859_2648452175416890018_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com&_nc_cat=107&_nc_ohc=2zAhjDkpnKcAX_Nnia-&oh=81d1d98173baf273b0adffbd989f10e2&oe=5F137477) _

**beheadedbitch:** i wanna question y they all have anna in it but thats probably not gonna help

 **beheadedbitch:** uhhhhhh

 **beheadedbitch:** ahhhhh oiwehgaohgweo

 **beheadedbitch:** HELP

 **beheadedbitch:** shit what do i do?

 **beheadedbitch:** AHHHHHHHHH

 **beheadedbitch:** IM NOT MENTALLY STABLE ENOUGH FOR THIS AHHHHHH

 **beheadedbitch:** EVERYONES CURLED UP AND FREAKING OUT AND I CANT DO ANYTHIGN AGOHWEIHWSDHGL

 **beheadedbitch:** THERYRE ALL SUFERESGIN

 **beheadedbitch:** SHIT IM SO USELESS AND A MESS IM JUST GONNA LOCK MYSELF IN MY ROOM NOW

**golden:** ANNE U BITCH UR NOT USELESS

**iguessimtheirmom:** DONT U DARE LOCK URSELF IN UR ROOM

**coffeegivesmelife:** CALM URSELF CHILD

**thebetteranne:** GET OUT HERE

**kitkatkittykat:** ITS CUDDLE TIME

**beheadedbitch:**......i dont deserve u guys

**golden:** Yes you do. Now get out here so I can smother you in affection!

**thebetteranne:** um, we!

**iguessimtheirmom:** you know what we're saying

**coffeegivesmelife:** stop wasting time

**kitkatkittykat:** again

 **kitkatkittykat:** ITS CUDDLE TIME BITCH

**beheadedbitch:** okay okay im coming

(a couple seconds)

**beheadedbitch:** love u guys

**iguessimtheirmom:** we love you too

**thebetteranne:** hurry up ur cousin and gf r getting impatient

**iguessimtheirmom:** cousin meaning kat

**beheadedbitch:** ik mum

 **beheadedbitch:** coming

 **beheadedbitch:** last meme

 **beheadedbitch:** _[[picture attached]](https://scontent-ssn1-1.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.2885-15/e35/66397075_434465377399655_6859169396375742307_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-ssn1-1.cdninstagram.com&_nc_cat=111&_nc_ohc=tMIfHFGaXLIAX-pWD7V&oh=d26f80f46cce96404b8ce7ef884d6feb&oe=5F1C1A42) _

**coffeegivesmelife:** beautiful

 **coffeegivesmelife:** but srsly get ur ass down here

**beheadedbitch:** ok ok im here

* * *

guess what happened? pretty simple. kitty ran up and pounced like the kat she is. catherine briskly but "calmly" walked over and after kat let go she kissed anne. kind of desperately but no one dared mention it. both catherine and kat then lead anne to the couch and then group hug and cuddle session.

the moral? WE PROTECT EVERY QUEEN ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY R HURTING SO WHO WANTS TO GO ON A FIELD TRIP? BRING UR TORCHES!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone give me ideas i ran out


	7. reading fanfics??? pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @TheScotsman commented: Since Anne and Parr can't even bear the idea of having been paired by the fans here, I'd suggest they react to the fiction titled "Love and Work".  
> And I surely want to know what Jane thinks of the one titled "Divorced, Beheaded, Died".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so bc it wouldn't make much sense to have them read these *ahem* fics through texting,,,,,it's in (what i call) script form hehehehehheeh
> 
> there's still some texting, just um....yeah
> 
> also it's split cuz it's long

**beheadedbitch:** WE HAVE BEEN CHALLENGED!!!!

**iguessimtheirmom:** i don't like the sound of that anne...

**thebetteranne:** BRING IT ON!!

**kitkatkittykat:** depending what it is, im down

 **kitkatkittykat:** tho its most likely a yes

**coffeegivesmelife:** im with kitty, but opposite

**golden:** tell us what it is

**beheadedbitch:** a fan challenged us to read some fanfics on ao3

**iguessimtheirmom:** ao3?

**thebetteranne:** archive of our own, love

**iguessimtheirmom:** oh right, thx!

**coffeegivesmelife:** is that it?

 **coffeegivesmelife:** not much of a challenge...

**beheadedbitch:** they told us to read it in our pairs

**kitkatkittykat:** well im already in cathys room so send the link

**thebetteranne:** ofc u r

**golden:** i suppose it's fine

 **golden:** anne come over

**kitkatkittykat:** veronica come over*

**golden:** uhh what?

**beheadedbitch:** ITS NOTHING

_annie sent a private message to kitkat_

**annie:** I SAID NOT TO MENTION THAT FIC IN THE MAIN CHAT!!

**kitkat:** UR THE ONE WHO MADE ME READ IT

 **kitkat:** U HEATHERS LOVING WANNABE

**annie:** *gasp*

 **annie:** TAKE THAT BACK

 **annie:** KLIEINSEN SHIPPER!

**kitkat:** u cannot diss me on my ships if i dont give a crap

 **kitkat:** now back to the main chat

**annie:** fine

_beheadedbitch sent a message to 'craphead is a female dog'_

**beheadedbitch:** omw

 **beheadedbitch:** everyone else settled?

**coffeegivesmelife:** kitty and i have been settled

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm with anna in her room so we're good as well

**beheadedbitch:** fanfic #1 on it's way

**thebetteranne:** TITLE

**beheadedbitch:** Love and Work (Or, Queens to Watch Out For)

 **beheadedbitch:** <https://archiveofourown.org/works/24602242/chapters/59429527>

**beheadedbitch:** let the games begin

* * *

Before we start, I'd like to mention that these are just some conversations between the couples. I said this in the notes, but I just thought it wouldn't make much sense to have them read the fic and then text the group chat. So, because I don't wanna write regularly, it's just like script I guess? For the record, I love both fics that are going to be mentioned, despite not being my favorite ships, so I suggest you go check them out (if u don't mind the tags...hehe)!

Like Anne said, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

* * *

Pre-reading

Cathy: Okay, let's check this out

Kitty: *snuggles into Cathy*

Kitty: Please tell me these are good tags...

Parrward: *scanning tags*

Cathy: Ew I'm dating Anne in this one

Kitty: And this is gonna make things very awkward between me and Anna

Cathy: Anna and I

Kitty: Why you gotta be so meaaaaaaaann?

Cathy: I'm only teasing, you sly kitten.

**

Jane: I'm not sure about these tags...

Anna: Well the notes say it's more humor than smut if that makes you feel better, love.

Jane: I guess so...

Anna: Hey, we don't have to read it if you're uncomfortable. We don't have to tell the others.

Jane: No, it's fine.

Anna: Are you sure, Liebling?

Jane: Yes, let's go on with it.

Anna: If you want, JJ.

**

Lina: Be patient u gremlin, I'm trying to read the tags.

Anne: Don't you wanna be surprised?

Lina: No.

Aralyn: *reading tags*

Lina: Aramour, Clevard, and Parrlyn huh?

Anne: I hate this already.

Lina: Now are you glad you read the tags?

Anne: ....yes.

Chapter 1

Cathy: Oh, character study. So, six chapters, I guess that's one for each of us.

Kitty: Wait, the line is "gotta keep my cool"! Not "always kept my cool"!

Cathy: It's probably just a simple mistake.

...

Kitty: This doesn't sound like Catherine at all! I mean, the character study was mostly accurate, but the rest...

Cathy: Well, what fans see in the show is what they're basing the characters off of. I guess this is the author's interpretation of Catherine.

...

Cathy: _Anne_ giving _Jane_ a vibrator is something I'd like to see.

Kitty: *knowing that this exchange did happen*

Kitty: Haha, jokes on Catherine, she _is_ dating a Protestant.

Cathy: Well, not necessarily. Catherine and I are kind of the only ones who genuinely follow a religion.

Kitty: Yeah, but Anne has more Protestant beliefs.

...

Kitty: Okay, this sounds like Jane.

Cathy: Agreed. But Anne the sexpert?

Kitty: I mean she is. I guess you just haven't had the need to talk to her yet.

Cathy: *is confused*

**

Anna: Well, the beginning is about Catherine.

Jane: I think it's one chapter for each queen, love.

Anna: Oh yeah. Wait, not all of this is correct.

Jane: Well, how could the author have known that Catherine had trouble remembering her lines?

...

Jane: I guess this author was at the show with the All You Wanna Do mess up

Anna: And Catherine went on. Just like her.

...

Anna: Okay, I see those references.

Jane: There's only two.

Anna: References nonetheless.

...

Anna: I think we know that Catherine did not freak out the first time she fucked Anne.

Jane: And I don't really act like this in the heat of the moment.

Anna: Not always. It depends on how heated up you are.

Jane: Yes, I guess you're right.

...

Anna: The caring does sound like you.

Jane: Yeah.

Anna: JJ? Are you okay?

Jane: Hm? Oh, yes. It's just a bit strange to see me paired up with Catherine.

Anna: Well, it's just fiction.

Jane: Hm. *presses small kiss to Anna's neck*

Anna: Uh uh. Later.

Jane: *soft giggles*

Anna: *blushes at Jane's cuteness*

**

Anne: Okay _now_ we can start.

...

Lina: *remembers storming out during rehearsal*

Anne: Lina. It's fine. Everyone understands how stressed you were.

Lina: I know. Thank you.

...

Anne: I think we both know you didn't short-circuit.

Lina: You were the short-circuited one.

Anne: No I didn't!

Lina: Why else would I have topped our first time?

Anne: *struggles with comeback*

...

Lina: Strange. I _am_ dating someone of Protestant beliefs. And it is going just fine.

Anne: *proud*

...

Anne: This is funny. You have no idea what a vibrator is.

Lina: You of all people would know otherwise.

Anne: *HEAT*

...

Anne: I'm not sure I like this version of mum.

Lina: Now, now. That's up to the author.

Anne: Okay, first off, mum is a bottom--

Lina: How would _you_ know that?

Anne: I walked in on them accidentally.

Lina: Anne!

Anne: It was an _accident_!!

...

Anne: Oh I just realized it's one chapter for every queen!

Lina: *shakes head but while smiling*

Chapter 2

Kitty: Well, character study's very accurate.

Cathy: All but the last line.

Kitty: I still can't believe you haven't had to talk with the sexpert yet.

Cathy: I mean, we've only had sex once, and that didn't work out too well.

Kitty: But that was Anna's fault.

Cathy: Yeah, but still.

...

Cathy: Since I haven't asked for sexpert Anne yet, does she really have a mini library of this stuff?

Kitty: Yeah.

...

Kitty: Okay, this isn't like _our_ Catherine, but I am loving flustered Catherine too much.

Cathy: Not to mention Anne's totally believable comebacks.

...

Cathy: Ok, is there an actual plot to this or something?

Kitty: No idea. Guess we'll have to keep reading.

Cathy: Also _thank god_ there wasn't anything about Parrlyn.

Kitty: Cathy, I love you, but that only means it's going to come at the end with your chapter.

Cathy: *not liking that at all* Shit.

**

Jane: Okay, I can relax a bit. It's probably not going to mention me...right?

Anna: Hope for the best, Liebling.

...

Anna: I wonder how much a coincidence it was that the author knew about Anne's sexpertism.

Jane: Anna, I don't think that's a word.

Anna: It's not, but I don't know how else to describe it.

...

Anna: Is it just me, or is flustered Catherine hilarious?

Jane: It's interesting, but it's just strange to read about Catherine like this.

...

Jane: So Cath isn't in this.

Anna: Lucky and unlucky for her.

Jane: How so?

Anna: It just means she has to wait longer to get it over with. She's the last chapter.

...

Jane: So I am in this.

Anna: It's just one mention?

Jane: And I'm next.

Anna: .....right. Would you like me to hold you?

Jane: Yes.

Anna: Okay then.

**

Anne: Ha this chapter is entirely correct.

Lina: Lucky coincidence. And we're not done reading it, don't assume things.

...

Anne: Ha, they got my sexpert techniques all right.

Lina: Except you don't have _as_ much stuff as this Anne does.

Anne: Hey!

Lina: Just stating the truth, mi amor.

...

Lina: Funny. I highly remember saying the words vagina, clit, etc. all in front of _someone_.

Anne: *giggling a bit too furiously at flustered Lina*

...

Lina: I don't remember you being this detailed.

Anne: That was for you. Everyone except Cath has come looking for sexpert Anne.

Lina: Not Cath?

Anne: Nope. I doubt she even knows about it.

Lina: Huh.

...

Anne: Mum is still a bottom.

Lina: Calling Jane mum is making it a lot weirder, you know.

Anne: You're right. I'll change it. For maybe the next week.

Chapter 3

Cathy: What's with this summary?

Kitty: No idea. Um... actually not sure if I should believe this...

Cathy: And we are not asking.

Kitty: No no no, we're not.

Parrward: .......okay

...

Kitty: Well, description is good.

Cathy: I really don't want to think about Catherine and Jane fucking.

Kitty: I am not backing down from a challenge.

Cathy: God, you're just like Anne.

Kitty: But not in _that_ way.

Cathy: Please don't. I don't wanna think about that ship until we get to it.

Kitty: *trying to contain laughter* Okay.

...

Cathy: Okay, but _none of us_ fuck while the others are home.

Kitty: Not according to this.

...

Kitty: Okay, but I can't help but wonder if Jane actually uses her whistle tone when she's being fucked.

Cathy: Kitty!

Kitty: Sorry, I'm just wondering!

Cathy: Wait, you didn't say mum?

Kitty: It'd make things a lot weirder.

...

Kitty: This would be _anyone's_ reaction if they walked in on one of our pairings having sex.

Cathy: Not always.

Kitty: Don't be like that.

Cathy: She texted the group chat that we were fucking!

Kitty: It's just shock, alright?

Cathy: .....fine

**

Jane: Here we go.

Anna: You alright?

Jane: ...yeah.

Anna: Okay.

...

Anna: Now, I wouldn't go as far to say you use your whistle tone, but you definitely have a dirty mouth.

Jane: *slightly embarrassed*

...

Jane: I'm pretty sure none of us have knowingly had sex with others in the house.

Anna: I'm with you on that.

...

Jane: *uncomfortable reading about her and Catherine*

Anna: *protective*

Anna: *notices Jane's discomfort* Babe, if you're uncomfortable, you could pretend it's me. It's not in detail anyway.

Jane: *tries it* *feels better*

**

Lina: I don't like what it's implying.

Anne: *totally not jealous and protective of her gf*

...

Anne: I don't think Jane would use her whistle tone or cuss.

Lina: Unlike someone....

Anne: Shhhhhhh.

...

Anne: Untrue, no one's fucked with others there who could hear them.

Lina: Might I remind you--

Anne: Shhhhh. No one's found out, and no one needs to know about that.

Lina: *rolls eyes*

...

Lina: The ending is accurate.

Anne: Agreed.

Chapter 4

Kitty: Why does our chapter have to be the smutty one? Ughhhhh

Cathy: *totally not losing her cool*

...

Cathy: For the record, this is an accurate Anna. Except her most important is Jane.

Kitty: Exactly my thoughts.

...

Kitty: I CAN'T.

Cathy: *trying to calm both of them down (but mostly her)*

Kitty: It's descriptive,

Cathy: *Trying to take deep breaths*

Kitty: And about my best friend whom I care about very deeply and will never in my life fall in love with.

Cathy: *about to yeet [insert device their reading on] across the room*

Kitty: Babe, you alright?

Cathy: I can't believe I'm getting this worked up over some stupid fic.

Kitty: *finding jealous Cathy very cute*

...

Cathy: Oh what is this?

Kitty: Oh my god your thing with Anne is orgasm denial isn't it?

Cathy: No, it's my thing with you.

Kitty: SHUT UP!

Cathy: *giggling*

Kitty: Calm down you tease.

Cathy: But seriously, I hate this ship.

...

Kitty: Okay that's a bit um....

Cathy: I will NEVER be shipped with Anne.

Kitty: You mean you will be shipped, but it's never going to happen because you love ME too much.

Cathy: *deep breath* Yes, what you said.

**

Jane: I don't like the name of this chapter.

Anna: Is it even possible to go in wrist deep?

Jane: I highly doubt it.

...

Anna: Catherine the Lawful Unflappable and Me the Chaotic Unflappable huh?

Jane: Definitely not as chaotic as the beheaded cousins, but it's still cute.

Anna: _Cute???_ *blushes*

...

Jane: I don't want to think about you having sex with Kat.

Anna: Trust me, neither do I. But at least they got that I'm pretty much the same in bed.

Jane: They also got your tone right.

Anna: What tone?

Jane: Nothing.

...

Anna: And here we are with another episode of Anne the sexpert.

Jane: Wait, I think this is what happened before Catherine went in the talk with Anne.

Anna: Aren't you the smart one?

Jane: *blushes*

...

Jane: Clenched her legs?

Anna: Oh, I get it.

Jane: What?

Anna: It's orgasm denial.

Jane: Um....

Anna: They bring you to your edge and then stop. In the name.

Jane: No, I know what it is. But it's Anne, so that'd mean Cath is on the other end.

Clevemour: *silent*

Anna: Maybe we shouldn't think about that.

**

Lina: _Me_? Matching _Anna_?

Anne: I see it, and I don't.

Lina: Will you _ever_ make sense you mischievous muppet?

Anne: That's a new one.

Lina: *rolls eyes*

...

Anne: I can see this being Anna, but I can't see it with Kat.

Lina: I don't _want_ to think about any other ships besides our current relationships.

...

Anne: Oh look more me the sexpert.

Lina: Whatever you say.

...

Anne: God, how does everyone know about Cath's OD thing?

Lina: OD?

Anne: My mouth is shut.

...

Anne: Wait, was that a six reference?

Lina: What was?

Anne: "Time for you to get down."

Lina: I don't think so.

Anne: But what if it was?

Lina: *rolls eyes* Whatever.

Chapter 5

Kitty: Okay, sweet and adorable. That's fine. BUT I AM NOT BABY!

Cathy: You're an adult. But you gotta admit you're the youngest and cutest of us.

Kitty: Was that a compliment?

Cathy: Of course it was. You're the greatest.

Kitty: *blushing*

...

Kitty: Okay, I can nerd over books and movies, but what is Star Trek?

Cathy: It's a science-fiction TV show. 

Kitty: Figures.

Cathy: Don't like sci-fi?

Kitty: *shrugs*

...

Kitty: The fact that they know about Anna's pulsator is kinda creepy.

Cathy: First off, probably just a coincidence. Second, how do _you_ know Anna has a pulsator?

Kitty: She accidentally left it out one time.

...

Kitty: Oh snap I wrote it.

Cathy: It was at the end of the character description.

Kitty: Whatever. But this me is apparently good at writing.

Cathy: Are you implying something, Kitten?

Kitty: *totally not panicking* No.

Cathy: *making the note to investigate further later*

...

Parrward: *wishing for it not to go into detail*

...

Cathy: Ovary up?

Kitty: *giggling quietly*

...

Kitty: Oh roleplay....

Cathy: *looks to Kitty*

Kitty: Not now, but later.

**

Jane: This sounds just like Kat.

Anna: Besides the closet nerd part. She has no idea what Star Trek is.

Jane: I thought she did.

Anna: No, that was Star Wars, and she was talking about how she didn't like it.

Jane: I don't blame her, I never really got into that.

Anna: *dramatically places hand on heart in betrayal*

...

Anna: How do they know about the pulsator??

Jane: The what?

Anna: Nothing babe! *totally not sweating nervously*

...

Anna: Anna bella?

Jane: When translated it means "Anna beautiful".

Anna: *impressed* How'd you know that?

Jane: *shrugs* I don't remember.

...

Jane: This is.....*ahem* strange.

Anna: At least it's not descriptive. That'd make this a whole lot worse.

Jane: Especially since you're mine?

Anna: Are you jealous?

Jane: No, I'm just saying that you're my girlfriend.

**

Anne: KitKat is the sweetest out of all of us.

Lina: Your point being?

Anne: Do I need a point if I'm stating a true fact?

Lina: No, it just seemed a bit strange that you randomly said that.

Anne: Shut up.

Lina: No thanks.

...

Anne: Uhh I don't wanna read about Anna masturbating, thank you very much.

Lina: Neither do I, but we're too deep in this challenge, and I will not back out.

Anne: Well I ain't gonna lose to you so let us proceed.

...

Anne: Lina, you're smart, what's Kätzchen mean?

Lina: That's German. I didn't learn that.

Anne: But you're super smart. You can figure it out.

Lina: *checking google translate while Anne is distracted* Uhh okay... *translation complete* I'm guessing it means kitten.

Anne: *is shooketh* See? You're amazing--wait what's that pulled up on your phone???

Lina: Nothing.

...

Lina: What the heck is this device?

Anne: A wire I'm guessing?

Lina: You could seriously be hurt by that!

Anne: Look, it says she researched how to use it properly.

Lina: Regardless.

Chapter 6

Cathy: Ughhhhhhhh.

Kitty: It's the last chapter let's push through!!

Cathy: Ewww look it says it's straight up smut!!

Kitty: I don't wanna read about my cousin fucking you either but I will not back down!

Cathy: ..........let's get this over with.

...

Kitty: Okay, you're known to rant,

Cathy: Hey!

Kitty: But you aren't this bad.

Cathy: Thank you.

...

Cathy: Ew.

Kitty: I know.

...

Kitty: Okay but apparently everyone knows about your orgasm denial thing.

Cathy: You can't say it's mine if you're the one being denied.

Kitty: But I'm saying you're into making the other wait, so technically...

Cathy: Fine, you win.

...

Cathy: Ewwwwwwwwww.

Kitty: Okay but I'm genuinely reading your ranting here.

Cathy: That's the _only_ thing I can read right now.

...

Kitty: Horse-fucking sadist?

Cathy: Shh Jane's gonna hear you, and before you say anything, I know you said 'fuck' earlier too, I just decided not to remind you.

Kitty: *rolling eyes*

Cathy: Anyway, there was a Catherine the Great in Russia. It was rumored that she died having sex with a horse, but it's just a myth. She didn't actually die like that, she died in a stroke. Some people declared her as a nymphomaniac, meaning to have excessive sexual desire and....maybe not the best time to be ranting.

Kitty: I love history and this is really interesting, but yes, it is not the best time for a Cathy lecture.

Cathy: God, am I that boring?

Kitty: Not to me.

Cathy: *totally not blushing*

...

Cathy: I feel bad for these queens.

Kitty: Including yourself?

Cathy: This Cathy is strange if she wants to date Anne. But I'm talking about how Anne screamed and everyone thought she was dying.

Kitty: True.

**

Jane: Okay last chapter.

Anna: Good thing too. I don't think I could handle anymore of these pairings.

Clevemour: *seeing the notes*

Anna: Okay, we can just skim through the actual smutty part.

Jane: Good idea.

...

Anna: There's a lot of smart words in this introduction.

Jane: Well, it _is_ Cath's chapter.

Anna: Yeah, you're right.

...

Jane: So it _was_ Cath during Anne's meeting with Kat.

Anna: It seems strangely in character for Cath.

Jane: You never know.

...

Jane: Can we start skimming?

Anna: Of course, this is too weird.

...

Anna: I fully expect Anne to be the loudest. And that's saying a lot considering how loud Parrward is.

Jane: I still don't think they're over it.

Anna: That's on them.

**

Aralyn: *sees the note*

Anne: Prepare thyself for the worst chapter of a lifetime!

Lina: Do you hate Cath that much?

Anne: I don't hate Cath. I hate the fact that I am shipped with her.

...

Anne: What the fuck is this word?

Lina: Don't look at me, Cath is the only one who would know what that means.

Aralyn: *searching def*

Lina: The use of unnecessary long words.

Anne: Yup, that's Cath.

...

Anne: Ew.

Lina: I know, Bo.

...

Anne: Ewwwww.

Lina: Yes, I know.

...

Anne: Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

Lina: *not bothering to answer at this point*

...

Lina: This ending would be quite accurate if anyone decided to have sex with others in the house.

Anne: Ew.

Aralyn: *reaches end*

Anne: Ew.

Lina: Finished?

Anne: Wait...........ew. Alright. Now I am.

Lina: *rolling eyes*

* * *

**beheadedbitch:** alright bitches u all done?

**iguessimtheirmom:** almost, one second.

 **iguessimtheirmom:** also, language.

**beheadedbitch:** but im not kat??

**kitkatkittykat:** HEY!

 **kitkatkittykat:** but also, were done

(a couple of seconds)

**beheadedbitch:** now u done mum?

**iguessimtheirmom:** yes

**beheadedbitch:** great, because now its time for relocation

**thebetteranne:** whoa whoa whoa

 **thebetteranne:** we read the torturous fic

**coffeegivesmelife:** anne i had to read about us having sex

 **coffeegivesmelife:** Y O U A N D M E

 **coffeegivesmelife:** there will be no more

**beheadedbitch:** dont worry i couldnt handle it either

**golden:** and neither could i

**kitkatkittykat:** rt

**beheadedbitch:** but guys the fan said to read two fics

 **beheadedbitch:** ITS DIFFERENT SHIPS DONT WORRY

 **beheadedbitch:** but were not done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS NO HATE ON THE ORIGINAL WRITERS!
> 
> This is simply how I feel my portrayals of the queens would react to the fics.
> 
> also....
> 
> AHHHHHH THIS TOOK SO LONG IM FINALLY DONE!  
> *reads ending*  
> shoot im only halfway done


	8. reading fanfics??? pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @TheScotsman commented: Since Anne and Parr can't even bear the idea of having been paired by the fans here, I'd suggest they react to the fiction titled "Love and Work".  
> And I surely want to know what Jane thinks of the one titled "Divorced, Beheaded, Died".
> 
> pt. 2!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH LOOK IM NOT DEAD
> 
> it is time for ze second fanfic.
> 
> oh boy
> 
> and @CinderSpots pls don't feel offended, im just tryin to be in character for my canon stuff and... forgive me

**thebetteranne:** u mean to tell me this monstrosity isnt over???

**beheadedbitch:** sadly not

**kitkatkittykat:** pls tell me this one doesnt ship me and anna

**golden:** or me with jane

**coffeegivesmelife:** or me with u

 **coffeegivesmelife:** ew

**beheadedbitch:** bros dont worry theyre different

**thebetteranne:** since when do u use the word bros?

**beheadedbitch:** since now

**iguessimtheirmom:** pls tell me it's the last one

**beheadedbitch:** it is

 **beheadedbitch:** but we got different setup

**kitkatkittykat:**??

**beheadedbitch:** they said that for this fic they want it split first three and last three

 **beheadedbitch:** soooooo

**thebetteranne:** Janey, I love you.

**iguessimtheirmom:** I love you too.

**kitkatkittykat:** CLEVEMOUR CONTENT!

 **kitkatkittykat:** u have been screenshotted

**coffeegivesmelife:** not a word kitty

**golden:** @beheadedbitch @iguessimtheirmom we're moving to anne's room

 **golden:** and before you ask y, it's hot, and anne's bed will be cold

**thebetteranne:** @kitkatkittykat @coffeegivesmelife kat's room?

**kitkatkittykat:** yea

**beheadedbitch:** move out!

 **beheadedbitch:** this is

 **beheadedbitch:** Divorced, Beheaded, Died

 **beheadedbitch:** <https://archiveofourown.org/works/24780220/chapters/59921347>

* * *

When everyone was settled....

* * *

Pre-reading

The last three: ....

Anna: Well at least we have aralyn...

Kat: It's aralyn plus jane how are you ok?

Anna: shhhhh

Cath: ok but the first additional tag is "smut"

Best bros: ......

Kat: Oh wait tags say henry ruins everything

Anna: he really does

Cath: it doesn't say that

Kat: no but it implies it.

Cath: HOWARD PROTECTION SQUAD!

Anna: HELL YEAS!

Kat: GIVE CATHY PARR ALL THE GOLD STARS!

Anna: YEAS!

Cath: hey she was on my side!!!

Kat: *sticks out tongue*

Anna: Oh look at the note!

Kat: Well at least they're sorry.

**

The first three: ........

Anne: okie slightly awkward.

Jane: for the record, I have no intention of intruding on your relationship.

Catherine: we know jane. it's fine

Anne: oh look we got the smut, the angst, _and_ the fluff. thats all three fanfic categories in one!

Catherine: doesn't know spanish or french....how would that play into....

Jane: well, we all tend to slip some of our languages into our english

Anne: except you

Jane: i didn't have the best education.....

Catherine: *planning to convince cath to help her*

Chapter 1

Kat: "Catherine day was not off to a good start."

Anna: is it ever?

Cath: hey! be nice! but.....

Kat: grammar freak

Anna: except when texting

Kat: tru tru

Cath: *keyboard smash but irl idk how to type it*

...

Anna: catherine the pessimist

Parrward: tis canon

Kat: but only sometimes

Anna+Cath: *howard protection squad vibes knowing kat is just the sweetest being alive*

...

Kat: oh snap we got anne's sister

Cath: why are so many people named mary?

Anna: why are so many people named catherine?

Kat: why did you name your own daughter mary

Cath: *keyboard smash irl*

...

Cath: backstory w jane i see...

Kat: she is waay too ecstatic about this

Anna: but imagine it with anne, it'd be accurate

Parrward: tru

...

Anna: r we not going to mention how great mary is?

Kat: not that i don't agree, but how so?

Cath: she supports catherine being a lesbian. i mean in this fic she is

Anna: AND she knows about her relationship with jane......that sounds weird coming out of my mouth i will never say that again

Kat: *giggle giggle*

Cath: and she decides to comment on it as she waits with her mother

Anna: and it's snarky as hell

Kat: correctamundo! you win......A SHINY NEW QUARTER!!

Anna: no

Kat: yes

Anna: that game was so fucking frustrating don't u dare remind me

Cath: *not rlly a gamer*

...

Cath: as a writer i must say that the grammar could be better

Kat: cathy....

Cath: it's not that bad tho, just slight mishaps. completely normal

Anna: says the perfectionist

Cath: shut up anna

...

Anna: anne is a bottom

Parrward: agreed

Kat: ok but can we agree timid anne is adorable?

Anna+Cath: yes

...

kat: ooooooookay this is a LOT more detailed than love and work

anna: *how the heck would u describe anna in this im sure u can imagine how shes reacting she's dating jane mkay?*

cath: anna calm down

anna: ......mine.

kat: we know anna, we know.

...

cath: i want to message this author and ask them to review

kat+anna: ?

cath: theres an 'us' but it's third person

kat+anna: oooooh

anna: dont attack them

cath: I'M NOT THAT BORING!

kat: ofc ur not! SOME ppl just cant appreciate knowledge sometimes

anna: ok im sorry but srsly if u message them dont bombard them

cath: i wont i wont.

**

jane: *deep breath* Ok.

catherine: ok

anne: ready?

catherine+jane: *nod*

...

catherine: *remembers mary*

anne: u ok lina?

catherine: ....

jane: back off?

catherine: *shake head*

anne+jane: ....

catherine: i just miss her

jane: we all miss our children, but let's look past that for now, ok?

catherine: *whisper* ok

...

jane: ......escalated how?

anne; kinda obvious u know

catherine: but also, the two of u didn't arrive at the same time. jane was already working when u arrived anne

anne: its called creative liberties, lina

catherine: i know that, i'm just pointing it out.

jane: girls, let's keep reading.

aralyn: alright.

...

catherine: lesbian wasnt a word then....

jane; im sure they didn't know

anne: ur not even lesbian

jane: again, i don't think they knew

...

anne: "anne wasn't so bad herself" huh.

catherine: it's just fiction. i wholeheartedly fell for u first

anne: *blushes*

jane: *totally not recording*

...

anne: i was NOT scared of u! god, this pictures me as a bottom when im not

catherine: *smirks, remembering differently*

jane: i think anna told me that u were a bottom

anne: that BITCH!

catherine: shhhh, calm down babe. u can scold anna later.

...

jane: if u dont mind, could we just skim this section?

catherine: im good with it

anne: i will not back down, u two do that while i scroll

catheriene: r u sure, anne? it looks a lot more descriptive

anne; I AM NOT A COWARD

jane: and that's a no

...

anne: damn three orgasms wow

catherine+jane: DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT!

Chapter 2

anna: alright cinderspots let's see if it's actually better

kat: anna!

anna: what? u let cath diss their grammar

cath: i wasn't dissing!

anna: I'M BEING THIRD WHEELED!

parrward: SHUT UP!

...

kat: ok but this beginning is honestly kind of funny

anna: agreed

cath: it's not kind of funny, it _is_ funny.

...

anna: oh damn we poly already?

kat: poly?

cath: basically means you're okay with dating more than one person at a time with everyone's consent. like this.

kat: oooooohhhhhhhh

...

cath: alright, thank you for telling it how it is

anna: some people just don't get it

kat: henry was dense as fuck

cath+anna: shhhhh jane's gonna hear you

kat: *keyboard smash irl*

...

kat: wait i'm confused, henry isn't eating with them?

anna: he's probably sleeping

cath: no he's not, he's off telling everyone to make anne's stay permanent

kat+anna: ooohhhh

...

kat: uh oh

anna: here we go

cath: is that what it said?

kat: and now we're going 'round like OFF WITH OUR HEADS

cath+anna: NO

kat: but really, i don't mean it

*smoothly transitions into DLYH*

...

cath: whoa what jane the switch?

kat: im pretty sure she's a bottom

anna: she is, but it's not like there haven't been times when--

cath: OKAY MOVING ON

...

kat: pfff voice commanding orgasms?

cath: that'd be something that would totally happen with anne

anna: agreed

...

anna: "i feel like i've gotten better at smut"

kat: "never thought that would be a sentence i would write, but here we are"

cath: i never thought we agreed to do this

kat+anna: *agreements*

**

anne: i guess we're all lesbians now

catherine: i'd prefer not to label myself, but it's just a work of fiction so i'll let them be

jane: me as well, though, mine is more from confusion than outright abstaining

anne: well whatever, you're both into girls to an extent, and that's that. no labels required

catherine+jane: *reminded that anne is actually really smart*

...

jane: ....this is quite awkward

anne: you're telling me

catherine: i know that you're cousins, but i'm still caught up on the fact that jane and i were together first

jane: yes, that too

anne: don't remind me lina

...

anne: HEY IM THE FLIRT

catherine: im not even gonna bother arguing

jane: out of the three of us, yes. however i do think kat might've outdone you in that--

anne: AW HELL NO!

catherine: *trying to stop anne from bursting into kat's room* ANNE CALM DOWN

...

catherine: oh this is where the spanish and french play in 

jane: oh right.

anne: wait _he_ extended _my_ stay? exCA-USE ME 

catherine: anne.....

anne: LINA THIS AUTHOR THINKS I AM A BOTTOM

jane: *whispers to catherine* just let her rant for a bit

catherine: *whispers back* right. thanks.

anne: *ranting for quite a bit*

catherine: .....better?

anne: ....yeah

jane: great, let's continue then

...

anne: REDEMPTION!

jane: im surprised this anne didn't try to flirt from the start

catherine: probably because this anne is a bottom

anne: LINA!

catherine: i'm not saying _you_ are mi amor

anne: *not convinced*

...

anne: it took me a week???

catherine: just be glad that the author bothered to make you send one

jane: but how did the maids not think anything?

catherine: they could've, just didn't bother to say anything

anne: or they're just--

catherine+jane: don't you dare insult them

...

jane: the other half of this is sex?????

catherine: jane, if i don't talk to you for a while, don't take it personally ok?

anne: same here

jane: no problem, i don't i'll be able to talk to you guys for a while either...

...

anne: well they got one thing right.

catherine: "most of the time" is crossed out

jane: and it says you weren't expecting what happened next

anne: exactly, they got that right

...

anne: oh god oh god oh god

jane: this is really descriptive......

catherine: *sarcastically if u couldn't tell* great now it's both of us....

...

catherine: i really hope they wrote this not knowing it'd be incest

anne+jane: *not being able to speak*

...

jane: *soft bottom confusion*

aralyn: *awkward*

...

anne: not to make things more awkward, but lina _has_ voice commanded me before--

catherine+jane: ANNE!!

anne: I'M SORRY

...

catherine: i'm not sure i want u to get better at writing smut...

anne: it's fine, just PLS NOT LIKE THIS!

jane: *silence*

Chapter 3

kat: oh anne's a top in this one

anna: can't see it

cath: she's a switch, catherine's just more of a top than a bottom

kat: right, they're a power switch couple

anna: i refuse, anne's too much of a bottom.

parrward: whatever you say anna

...

anna: wait, jane confessed on catherine's _wedding day??_

kat: smart move jane, _reeeeeeaaaaa_ _ally_ smart

cath: give her a break, she was drunk

...

cath: well, at least they know anne's really smart

kat: only playing dumb for the king

anna: .......bottom

...

anna: i'm sorry, but the couple i'm currently sitting next to is the touch deprived one

parrward: ANNA!

anna: am i wrong?

parrward: ...no

anna: exactly

...

kat: *visibly uncomfortable*

anna: guess they forgot trigger warnings

cath: kitty, love, you okay?

kat: i guess...

anna: break time. *searches for forever from deh on phone (in other words kat's fav song)*

kat: *slowly gets better*

...

anna: oh how we wish we could off the king

cath: he will BURN IN HELL

kat: what do you mean? he's been burning for more than 500 years

anna: serves him right

...

kat: anne would totally try to get lina jealous on purpose

cath: and jane?

anna: no thanks, it's incest and jane is my girlfriend

cath: okay okay

...

kat: he did have a lot of balls for no reason

anna: and then he'd make up some random excuse to have one

cath: and then complain about his hangover the next day

...

anna: oh here comes the smut

cath: why is there so much smut????

kat: because it's the first additional tag

cath: pls tell me there's at least one chapter without smut

anna: only one way to find out

the last three: *sigh*

...

cath: im not sure about the in character-ness, but that's because i don't know what to think about this whole thing

anna: agreed

kat: *reading author's note* OH THANK GOD IT WASN'T INTENTIONAL

cath+anna: *confused*

kat: they didn't know anne and jane were cousins until now

cath: thank god

kat: RIGHT?!

anna: if the incest was intentional i was about to go find them

kat: i would've joined you

cath: same here

anna: no incest

parrward: agreed.

cath: but to be fair, if this happened to me i'd finish it as well. having to abandon works is annoying

kat+anna: yeah

**

anne: nooo not a longer chapter

jane: but it says you're a top in this one

catherine: that makes it more tolerable i guess

anne: what'd you say?

catherine: i didn't say anything

...

catherine+jane: *avoiding eye contact*

anne: this is......strange

...

anne: I AM NOT CLINGY

catherine: yes you are

anne: am not

catherine: are too

jane: this isn't going to get us anywhere

...

anne: why do i gotta be bottom??

catherine: because i'm top?

anne: are not!

jane: stop arguing, pls

...

anne: is this angst?

catherine: how would _i_ know? i don't read fanfiction anne

jane: what's angst?

anne: uhh like sad stuff to put it simply

catherine: in that case, yes it is

anne: alright, just making sure

jane: ....why'd you need our opinion

anne: to test you

catherine+jane: ????

...

anne: *singing* HENRY CAN BURN IN HEELLLLLLLLLL

catherine: but he is

jane: *concerned that she wants to _kill_ Henry bc as much as she knows he's an asshole she couldn't ever kill him*

...

anne: i've done this before hehe

catherine: and you were very much punished for it

anne: *keyboard smash irl*

jane: pls stop

catherine: sorry jane

...

jane: i'd like to see the dresses

catherine: me too

anne: i've never seen green, gold, and silver dress before, and i'd much like to see one

...

anne: PFFF HAHHA

jane: didn't this actually happen?

catherine: ......yes

jane: you sound hesitant

anne: because in our past life, she flipped the guy off and he was so scared!!

catherine: we don't talk about it

...

anne: oh god here comes the smut

jane: skim?

catherine: agreed

anne: you didn't skim the last chapter

catherine: we did, just didn't tell you

...

anne: well, at least this is somewhat normal. if jane wasn't watching that is

jane: pls stop talking about it, i just want to get it over with

catherine: we don't need to go into detail about this part.

anne: ok ok

...

anne: yes we need thick walls

catheirne+jane: ANNE!

anne: SORRY!

...

anne: it's over

catherine: thank goodness

jane: *reading author note* well, i don't think it's too out of character...maybe just a bit

anne: oh thank god it's not intentional incest

jane: they didn't know up until now, that's somewhat comforting

catherine: not by much

Chapter 4

kat: final moments???

anna: well then, i guess this means there's no smut

cath: thank god. now let's see how they handled this

...

kat: i'm not gonna lie, the mouthing of "i love you" to each other is soo bittersweet

anna: agreed

cath: executed very well actually. well, besides grammar

kat+anna: cath(y).....

cath: sorry

...

anna: okay the thing with elizabeth is sooo cute

kat: it's so saddddd

cath: did either of you call lizzie betsy? because i didn't.

anne: no

kat: i did. i called her both lizzie and betsy

cath: oh whoa ok

kat: didn't expect it did you?

cath+anna: *shakes head*

...

the last three: *keyboard smash irl* ahh the cute sadness why??

**

jane: final moments?

catherine: just great.

anne: *not looking forward to reading about her beheading*

...

catherine: ugh

jane: .....yeah.....

anne: *remembers catherine actually begging him to change his mind

catherine: glad it happened quickly in this universe.

...

anne: *keyboard smash irl* you just had to....

catherine: *mary*

jane: *trying her best to comfort both of them*

anne: at least lizze didn't see me get beheaded in this universe

...

jane: no no please no

anne: *elizabeth*

catherine: *mary*

jane: i....didn't even get to see him once?

...

jane: can we....take a break for a bit?

anne: *nods*

catherine: i'll get us some water

Chapter 5

anna: and we're back to smut

cath: ugh

kat: how does writing smut come out of nowhere?

anna: no idea

...

cath: well the confusion is there.

anna: there was definitely a lot less cussing--granted no one used cuss words back then

kat: they got me pretty well. and i did talk to anne first as well.

anna: this isn't that weird, what was cinderspots thinking?

cath: writer's anxiety probably

kat+anna: ahh

...

kat: ok i know the relationship is catherine, anne and jane, but this reunion is so fucking cute!!

anna: not that i don't agree with you,

cath: but shush, jane's gonna hear you

kat: ughhh

anna+cath: *giggle*

...

anna: "sorry for beheading you, here, have sex"?

kat: pfff

cath: out of context, it's really funny

kat: it's funny even _in_ context

...

cath: oh look at us talking about the tv

kat: it was so confusing back then

anna: looking back, it's one of the most funniest fucking things that happened when we first came back

cath: i suppose you mean the only?

anna: nah. the first, sure

kat: you can't forget the banana escapade

cath: i was kinda hoping to.....

kat+anna: *giggle*

...

kat: oh god it's the smut

cath: are they really gonna fuck in public like this?

anna: more like _jane_ is gonna fuck _anne_.

kat: oh god that sounds so weird

anna: you're telling me. never saying this again

cath: you said something like that earlier, but what do i know?

anna: shut the fuck up cath

...

the last three: *very uncomfortable*

anna: oh god this is so fuckign weird

parrward: agreed

...

cath: glad that over. phew

kat: time skip

anna: hopefully there's no more smut

...

kat: pffff a peeper??

anna: love that

cath: i bet anne called it that

kat: i bet it was anna

anna: oh yea? i bet it was kat

cath: oh well. we'll never know

...

cath: well the ending is good

kat: i like how it's happy

anna: i like how there's no smut

parrward: ....really?

anna: sorry....not sorry

the last three: *DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD (yes they sang the entire thing)*

kat: wait, there's a next part?

cath: don't tell me it ships the three of us together

anna: either way, we're not reading it

cath: *second author's note* well i just assumed it was just creative liberties, even if it was slightly confusing

kat: i was also confused why they used lesbian

anna: well we pretended so there we go.

the last three: .....

anna: imma ask if they're done yet

* * *

 **thebetteranne:** yo @beheadedbitch u guys done yet??

**beheadedbitch:** y'all r done already??

 **beheadedbitch:** dude we just got to the last chap

**kitkatkittykat:** sucks for you bitch

**beheadedbitch:** jane says to watch ur language

**kitkatkittykat:** OH COME ON IM 21 STOP BABYING MEEEEEE

**coffeegivemelife:** anyway hurry up anne so we can move on from this monstrosity

**beheadedbitch:** ok ok

* * *

anna: sooooooo.......

kat: you wanna just move on without them?

cath: i vote we find karaoke tracks and vibe just to annoy them

anna: it's so weird hearing the word "vibe" come out of your mouth

cath: *rolls eyes* wahtever anna

kat: either way, let's do it

anna: HAMILTOOOOOOOOOOON

kat: I CALL PEGGY

cath: you were gonna be peggy either way. i want angelica

anna: but....

cath: you got angelica last time

anna: ....fine. i'll just outlive all of you once again

kat: ENOUGH OF THAT LET'S GO

anna: wait who's burr?

kat: all of us now get ready i'm playing it

**

jane: more??

catherine: well i'm hoping that most of it is us getting settled

anne: i bet the flirting start halfway through

...

anne: none of us used fuck as a swear word yet

jane: how could _they_ have known?

catherine: to each their own

...

anne: ....did kitkat really collapse like that?

catherine: ....yes. but can you blame her?

anne: no. but still.

jane: the important thing is that she's alright now.

anne: ok

...

anne: the catherine joke got us through the realization

jane: not really

catherine: it was a lot more than the catherine joke anne

anne: yeah yeah

...

anne: i don't wanna think about you crying

jane: me neither

catherine: neither do i

...

anne: and here comes the blame

jane: we never came back on the greatest of terms

catherine: like you said about kat, what matters is that we got passed it

anne+jane: right

...

catherine: so being turned on by a past lover is more important than being reincarnated into the 21st century.

anne: i'd like to point out that this is fiction

jane: girls, can we jsut finish? it's the last chapter

anne: thank god. yes

...

anne: pfff skinny pants.

catherine: now's not the time

jane: anne, i'd just like to keep reading without interruption please

anne: no promises. but for the record, i was right

catherine: anne.

anne: sorry.

...

anne: ah yes the tv

catherine+jane: anne.....

anne: SORRY

...

anne: oh no. smut

catherine+jane: anne we don't need your commentary right now

anne: sorry, trying to cope here

catherine: alright, fine. just try and keep them in your head m'kay?

anne: okie

...

jane: time skip is good.

catherine: no more smut. good

anne: i can talk again!

catherine: *rolls eyes*

...

anne: what are heelys? they sound really cool!

catherine+jane: *having not told her for a very particular reason*

...

anne: THE END YESSSS!!

catherine: *not wanting to mention the second part in fear that anne will make them read it*

jane: i think this note was supposed to go with the first chapter

anne: ahh. common ao3 mistake. well, not _that_ common, but it still happens

catherine: alright, i'm just gonna text the others.

* * *

 **golden:** we're all done here as well

 **golden:** do you wanna meet up in the kitchen?

**beheadedbitch:** HELLLOOOOOOOOOO?

* * *

**

jane: girls, maybe we oughta go check on them.

anne: i'll go *makes way to kat's room* *hears music* what the.... *opens door*

the last three: BABY I'M SORRY! I'M NOT SORRY!

anne: waht the heck is this and how could we not hear you???

the last three: uh....

kat: *grabs water gun that she jsut happens to have in her room and just happens to have water in it* *shoots anne*

anne: BITCH IMMA GET PAYBACK!! *runs away*

the last three: *runs to hide (anna's room)*

anne: lina can you get up for a sec? i need my water gun

jane: anne, you're wet.

anne: and you can thank kitkat for that, now im gonna go

catherine: hand me an extra, you won't stand a chance

anne: is that an offer or an insult?

catherine: me knowing it would've been you versus the three of them

anne: i have the best girlfriend ever, i need to drag you into more schemes

jane: i hope not

catherine: it won't happen often. don't worry, it won't get out of hand like last time.

jane: if it does, i'm dropping the tartar again.

aralyn: *Ship Prank War™ flashbacks* yes ma'am.

jane: alright. *hands them both the water guns* go ahead

anne: what the.... i'm not even gonna question it. LINA MOVE OUT!

catherine: *rolling eyes* alright alright i'm coming.

* * *

**AND THEN CHAOS ENSUED!!**

**no tartar was dropped during or in the aftermath of this dispute**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can feel my characterization and canon getting worse and worse someone save me (then again, it is a crap fic (is it a crack fic? idk) )
> 
> sorry this is late, i was prioritizing my other fic (and why i usually don't have two fics going at once)
> 
> hey y'all if ya have suggestions pls gimme ideas! hehe


	9. anne the sexpert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @ZHEDDYDEADDY  
> I’m sorry Anne has given Jane a vibrator before?? I need to know more---  
> And the queen's reactions to the ships with their significant others is a mood, props to Cathy for never having to go to Anne the apparent sexpert in their household

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay we're back to normal group chat stuff
> 
> *set an unknown amount of days after previous chap*  
> tw: anne's depression for like a second

**coffeegivesmelife:** so everyone's healed from the dare correct?

**iguessimtheirmom:** yes, i'm all good with catherine and anne

**golden:** yes, i'm fine

**thebetteranne:** yup im cool

**kitkatkittykat:** anna and i r no longer awkward

**beheadedbitch:** yes

 **beheadedbitch:** y do u ask?

**coffeegivesmelife:** i'd like to go back to something that was mentioned while kat and i were reading the first fic

 **coffeegivesmelife:** ANNE R U SRSLY THE SEXPERT WTH HOW COME I NEVER KNEW THIS??

**kitkatkittykat:** cathy y r u so upset??

**thebetteranne:** dude this means you've never needed help

 **thebetteranne:** props to u

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok ok fine.

 **coffeegivesmelife:** but.....

 **coffeegivesmelife:** anne? rlly?

**beheadedbitch:** gee thx

**golden:** i'm not sure what the big deal is cath

**iguessimtheirmom:** we needed help, and anne offered it

**thebetteranne:** i sent u to anne

**iguessimtheirmom:** :(

**thebetteranne:** no no no dont be sad i luv u

**iguessimtheirmom:** :)

**kitkatkittykat:** CLEVEMOUR CONTENT

**beheadedbitch:** but yea besides mum everyones come to ze sexpert

 **beheadedbitch:** well.....

**coffeegivesmelife:** i'm still having a hard time believing this

**golden:** it's best if you don't think about it

**beheadedbitch:** :(

**golden:** don't you dare

 **golden:** <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

**beheadedbitch:** :3

**kitkatkittykat:** MY CAT FACE :3

**beheadedbitch:** TOO BAD

**iguessimtheirmom:** girls....

**kitkatkittykat:** srry mum

**beheadedbitch:** srry mum

**thebetteranne:** i cant think of a reason y cath hasnt needed to see the sexpert

**kitkatkittykat:** shes perfect

**thebetteranne:** nah

**kitkatkittykat:** :(

**coffeegivesmelife:** u cousins r unbelievable

 **coffeegivesmelife:** here u go kitten <(^_^)>

**kitkatkittykat:** <(^_^)> :3

**coffeegivesmelife:** that aside, i just don't want to talk about my sex life

 **coffeegivesmelife:** AHEM ANNA

**thebetteranne:** that was one time and it was out of shock

**iguessimtheirmom:** we all were

**golden:** @coffeegivesmelife as much as i hate talking about it as well, anne's actually helpful in this regard

**beheadedbitch:** <3

**coffeegivesmelife:** bias, gf

**iguessimtheirmom:** she helped me as well

**coffeegivesmelife:** bias, cousin 1

**thebetteranne:** alright smarty pants wat bout me?

**coffeegivesmelife:** bias, best buddy

**kitkatkittykat:**....

 **kitkatkittykat:** ily

**coffeegivesmelife:** ilyt

 **coffeegivesmelife:** but bias, cousin 2

**beheadedbitch:** bitch u made me do this

_beheadedbitch added magswguitarbags to 'craphead is a female dog'_

**magswguitarbags:** nice chat name but y am i here?

**beheadedbitch:** cath thinks were all biased

**magswguitarbags:**......on?

**thebetteranne:** anne the sexpert

**kitkatkittykat:** she doesnt think that annes helpful

**coffeegivesmelife:** it's not that!

 **coffeegivesmelife:** it's just hard to believe that anne is what u guys have been calling her a "sexpert"

**magswguitarbags:** ah

 **magswguitarbags:** well cath, im here to tell u she is

**coffeegivesmelife:** bias, liw

**golden:** cath u r so stubborn

**magswguitarbags:** ugh fine bitch

_magswguitarbags added bbbbbessssiieeee to 'craphead is a female dog'_

**bbbbbessssiieeee:** wtf?

**magswguitarbags:** anne the sexpert

 **magswguitarbags:** yay or nay

**bbbbbessssiieeee:** this isnt a yay or nay situation

 **bbbbbessssiieeee:** but she is the sexpert

**beheadedbitch:** THERES NO BIAS FOR THAT BITCH

**iguessimtheirmom:** girls be nice

**beheadedbitch:**......srry mum

 **beheadedbitch:** but srsly u believe literally everyone now @coffeegivesmelife ?

**coffeegivesmelife:** yes ok ok fine

**thebetteranne:** say it.

**coffeegivesmelife:** what?

**thebetteranne:** Saaaaayyyyyy itttt.

**coffeegivesmelife:** ugh. fine asshole

 **coffeegivesmelife:** anne, you're the sexpert

**thebetteranne:** @kitkatkittykat

**kitkatkittykat:** all clear!

**magswguitarbags:** peace out

**bbbbbessssiieeee:** peace

_magswguitarbags left the group chat_

_bbbbessssiieeee left the group chat_

* * *

_magswguitarbags sent a message to 'the greatest ladies ever'_

**magswguitarbags:** y'all owe me 20 each

**bbbbessssiieeee:** no no no u said it was gonna be catherine

**rockyroad:** wait, u found out??

**magswguitarbags:** anne added me into their convo, then i added bbbessie

 **magswguitarbags:** and cath was all like "i dont think annes the sexpert"

 **magswguitarbags:** so they were tryin to convince her that she is

**mariavonthedrums:** so cath is last

**makesomeloveforjoan:** @maudthemom could you give us the actual bets?

 **makesomeloveforjoan:** and i'm still not liking this username bessie

**bbbbessssiieeee:** that was the best show and u know it

**maudthemom:** everyone bet 20

 **maudthemom:** maggie- catherine

bessie- jane

joan- jane

maria- catherine

rocky- cath

me- anna

**magswguitarbags:** y r the youngest two the best at betting??

**rockyroad:** we used to bet on things in our past life

**mariavonthedrums:**....with what?

**rockyroad:** bragging rights, chores, the usual

 **rockyroad:** but anyway, i just got 100 so thx guys! ;)

**bbbbessssiieeee:** i regret making this

**rockyroad:** ur fault

* * *

**coffeegivesmelife:** one thing tho

**golden:** what is it now?

**coffeegivesmelife:** i can see everyone finding some reason to confide in anne

 **coffeegivesmelife:** but jane wtf?

**thebetteranne:** ill take over

 **thebetteranne:** once upon a time...

**kitkatkittykat:** r u rlly gonna tell the entire story?

**beheadedbitch:** settle in girls, its story time!

**kitkatkittykat:** THERES A PRINCESS! IN A TOWER!

**golden:** pls don't

**kitkatkittykat:** srry

**iguessimtheirmom:** u can proceed, anna love

**thebetteranne:** ty

 **thebetteranne:** Once upon a time, there was Jane.

 **thebetteranne:** Jane had just passed her interview and had been working at her new job for a couple of days.

 **thebetteranne:** However, her boss and coworkers were just a tiny bit of a group of asshole.

**beheadedbitch:** big assholes*

**iguessimtheirmom:** anne.

**beheadedbitch:** stop it im not kat!!

**kitkatkittykat:** :3

**thebetteranne:** Anyway, her boss didn't give a shit about her. Her coworkers forced all of their work onto her.

 **thebetteranne:** After a while her housemates found out and suggested she switch jobs. Which she gladly did.

**coffeegivesmelife:** i already know what happened what does this have to do with the current situation??

**golden:** i'd agree, but it's somewhat important

**coffeegivesmelife:** somewhat doesn't cut it

**thebetteranne:** AHEM!

 **thebetteranne:** ty

 **thebetteranne:** where was i?

**iguessimtheirmom:** i just got another new job

**thebetteranne:** Ah yes.

 **thebetteranne:** Jane had already been stressed out from trying to find a new job and the stress still present from her old job.

 **thebetteranne:** It had only gotten worse when the "Banana Escapade Pt. 2" took place.

**beheadedbitch:** that was fun

**kitkatkittykat:** ikr

**beheadedbitch:** almost as fun as grind

**kitkatkittykat:** DID U FIND GRIND AND NOT TELL ME??

**beheadedbitch:** kidding

**kitkatkittykat:** >:(

**coffeegivesmelife:** u made kitty angry

 **coffeegivesmelife:** no one wants an angry kitty

**thebetteranne:** STOP INTERRUPTING ZE STORY!

 **thebetteranne:** *breath*

 **thebetteranne:** It was then that her amazing girlfriend, Anna, noticed this.

 **thebetteranne:** Soon after, the two were home alone, and Anna had been planning to allow Jane to let go if you catch my drift.

**golden:** OKAY WE DO NOT NEED TO GO INTO DETAIL HERE!

**thebetteranne:** OK OK

 **thebetteranne:** In the midst, Jane tensed up, and Anna realized that her girlfriend hadn't really let go at all. Like at all.

 **thebetteranne:** So being the caring lover she is, she assured Jane that they didn't have to do it right away, and that she should get comfortable with herself first.

 **thebetteranne:** One thing lead to another, Anna told Jane to consult with the sexpert. Anne Boleyn.

**beheadedbitch:** yeet yeet

**thebetteranne:** The End.

**kitkatkittykat:** *applause*

 **kitkatkittykat:** GREAT STORY ANNA!

**thebetteranne:** ty ty ur too kind

**coffeegivesmelife:**......ok

 **coffeegivesmelife:** lot of superfluous information there but......ok

**iguessimtheirmom:** um, kat do you know what she just said?

**kitkatkittykat:** no

**beheadedbitch:** superfluous just means extra or unnecessary

**thebetteranne:** oh i forgot anne was smart

**beheadedbitch:**...

**golden:** bo im coming babe hold out a little longer

**beheadedbitch:** they're getting louder....

**iguessimtheirmom:** think happy thoughts?

**kitkatkittykat:** CUPCAKES AND RAINBOWS!

**beheadedbitch:** i hear lina now, thx guys

**thebetteranne:** before u go, im sorry anne

**beheadedbitch:** ur fine

 **beheadedbitch:** depression isn't

**thebetteranne:** r u sure ur fine??

**beheadedbitch:** yea

 **beheadedbitch:** lina's here i'll be back to normal in a bit

 **beheadedbitch:** cya

**kitkatkittykat:** bye bye annie! <3

**iguessimtheirmom:** we love u!

**thebetteranne:** peace

**coffeegivesmelife:** (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

**thebetteranne:** tell me where u get those i need them

**coffeegivesmelife:** ( •_•)  
( •_•)>⌐■-■  
(⌐■_■)

**thebetteranne:** u little piece of shit

**kitkatkittykat:** wait cathy ur not still caught up about anne the sexpert r u?

**coffeegivesmelife:** no, no i'm not

**iguessimtheirmom:** (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

**thebetteranne:** HOWD U GET IT?

**iguessimtheirmom:** i got it from cath's text?

**thebetteranne:** omg ur a genius ty ilysm

**iguessimtheirmom:** <3

**kitkatkittykat:** CLEVEMOUR CONTENT!

**coffeegivesmelife:** but for the record, it doesn't mean i'll be needing the sexpert anytime soon

**thebetteranne:** whatever u say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo i hope this counts as more regular updates now hehe


	10. SuBsCriBe tO zE siX qUeEnS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> insanity_times_ten  
> Hey hi hello I’ve got another idea for you:  
> They could start a YouTube channel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for this chapter and most likely future chapters: anne's depression
> 
> im gonna reference it a lot mostly bc it's rlly easy to take things the wrong way or say something accidentally offensive over text since u cant hear their tone
> 
> so yea
> 
> also i have no idea if all of them r at home or not, but if they r it doesn't make sense bc they could just talk to each other but like GROUP CHAT LOGIC amiright? i honestly don't care

**beheadedbitch:** guys i just got a great idea!!

**coffeegivesmelife:** after the fanfic crisis?

**golden:** no

**beheadedbitch:** but guys itll be fun!!

**iguessimtheirmom:** i've got a bad feeling about this

**kitkatkittykat:** id usually be behind u on this, but im not so sure rn

**thebetteranne:** just say wat it is bo

**beheadedbitch:** HEY!

**thebetteranne:** wat?

**golden:** special nickname. only i can call her that

**thebetteranne:** whatev just say wat it is anne

**beheadedbitch:** what if

 **beheadedbitch:** we made a youtube channel?

**iguessimtheirmom:**...

**coffeegivesmelife:** i was expecting a lot worse

**kitkatkittykat:** YES!!

**thebetteranne:** BEST FUCKING IDEA EVER!!

**golden:** what r you expecting us to do?

**beheadedbitch:** idk whatever we want!

 **beheadedbitch:** cooking, diy, gaming, vlogging etc.

**kitkatkittykat:** I VOTE OUR FIRST VIDEO SHOULD BE A COVER!!!!!

**thebetteranne:** but shouldnt we do an intro vid first?

**beheadedbitch:** but ppl already know who we r from six

**iguessimtheirmom:** girls, this sounds great, but how are you going to find time to do all this?

 **iguessimtheirmom:** you'll need time to film, plus edit the videos

**beheadedbitch:**.....cath?

**coffeegivesmelife:** i have a job bitch

**beheadedbitch:** >:P

 **beheadedbitch:** lina?

**golden:** no

**beheadedbitch:** :(

**golden:** if you are serious about this, i want you to do it yourself

**beheadedbitch:** fine

**kitkatkittykat:** so r we starting rn or.....

**thebetteranne:** first vid shall be an intro/cover

 **thebetteranne:** kat get started

**kitkatkittykat:** WERE DOING GOOD FOR YOU CUZ I GOT THIS IDEA FOR A CONCEPT!!

**iguessimtheirmom:** as long as you're going to follow through with everything, it's alright with me

**coffeegivesmelife:** ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

**thebetteranne:** tf?

**coffeegivesmelife:** fine with me

**beheadedbitch:** lina?

**golden:**....

**beheadedbitch:** *puppy dog eyes*

**kitkatkittykat:** if ur trying to use howard hypnosis tm over text that's not how u do it

**beheadedbitch:** shhhh

**golden:** alright, fine

**beheadedbitch:** YEEEEESSSSSS

 **beheadedbitch:** time to create!!

**thebetteranne:** wait wtf is the name of our channel?

**iguessimtheirmom:** can't we just use six?

**coffeegivesmelife:** maybe, but it should have more than just six

**kitkatkittykat:** OOH

 **kitkatkittykat:** Six Queens in a House

**golden:** that sounds like the name of a reality show

**thebetteranne:** SIX BITCHES!

**iguessimtheirmom:** i don't want any cussing in the channel name

 **iguessimtheirmom:** what about our younger audiences?

**thebetteranne:** six badasses?

**golden:** no but nice try

 **golden:** definitely six something though

**beheadedbitch:** GUYS COME ON I NEED A NAME!!!

**coffeegivesmelife:** just go with "The Six Queens" for now

 **coffeegivesmelife:** u can change it later

**beheadedbitch:** u can change the name???

**coffeegivesmelife:** yes anne, u can change the name

**thebetteranne:** bold attitude for someone who didnt know anne is a sexpert

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok but i just never needed her

 **coffeegivesmelife:** that's a good thing

 **coffeegivesmelife:** WAIT I MEAN I NEVER NEEDED HER ON THAT REGARD

 **coffeegivesmelife:** ANNE DON'T TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY

(a few seconds later)

**coffeegivesmelife:** y isn't she responding????????

 **coffeegivesmelife:** catherine pls tell me she's alright?!?!?

**kitkatkittykat:** ill go look for them

**coffeegivesmelife:** tysm kitty ilysm

**kitkatkittykat:** <3

**coffeegivesmelife:** <3

**thebetteranne:** cath calm down, im sure shes fine

**coffeegivesmelife:** anna i didnt notice the first time!

 **coffeegivesmelife:** she almost died!!!

**thebetteranne:** AND U THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?

**coffeegivesmelife:** i-

**thebetteranne:** Listen, I know that we both regret what happened back then, but there's nothing we can do now!

 **thebetteranne:** She asked us to move on, so we need to try our best to do that!

**coffeegivesmelife:** Right.

 **coffeegivesmelife:** sorry.

**iguessimtheirmom:** girls, everything's fine

 **iguessimtheirmom:** anne was just jumping on her bed from excitement and hit her head on the ceiling

 **iguessimtheirmom:** catherine walked into her room just in time to see her do it

 **iguessimtheirmom:** kat and i were just getting her some ice and water

 **iguessimtheirmom:** it's nothing major, just a bit of a bump is all

**coffeegivesmelife:** OH THANK GOD!

**thebetteranne:** thank goodness she's alright

 **thebetteranne:** but wtf isn't her ceiling like rlly high???

**iguessimtheirmom:** oh, i didn't think about that

**kitkatkittykat:** she has super jumping skills!!

 **kitkatkittykat:** annie's a kangaroo!

**golden:** that's a new one

**beheadedbitch:** AM NOT!

**golden:** Anne Boleyn, I leave you for one minute and you're already on your phone?

 **golden:** Put it down! We don't know if you got a concussion!

**beheadedbitch:** probably deserve it, but ok putting my phone down!

**thebetteranne:** ANNE BOLEYN STOP BEING SO FUCKING HARD ON YOURSELF

**coffeegivesmelife:** YOU'RE AN AMAZING PERSON U DON'T DESERVE TO BE HURT!

**iguessimtheirmom:** anne says "whatever you say"

 **iguessimtheirmom:** @kitkatkittykat could you come help me with this?

 **iguessimtheirmom:** anne's not allowed to look at screens and she's asking me to help finish setting up the channel

**kitkatkittykat:** omw!

* * *

2 days later

* * *

_magswguitarbags sent a message to 'the greatest ladies ever'_

**magswguitarbags:** ohohoh look wat i found

**magswguitarbags:** _[picture attached]_

**bbbbessssiieeee:** its a yt vid y didnt u send a link?

**magswguitarbags:** yall never click on the links i send

**rockyroad:** cuz most of them r obnoxious memes that no one cares about

**maudthemom:** be nice rocky

**rockyroad:** srry mum

**makesomeloveforjoan:** r the two of you using the daughter/mom thing that jane has with anne and kat?

**rockyroad:** uhhh sorta but not rlly

**makesomeloveforjoan:**??

**maudthemom:** she means it's not a regular thing like it is with the queens

**mariavonthedrums:** wait back to mags' pic

 **mariavonthedrums:** did the queens start a youtube channel???

**magswguitarbags:** RIGHT?

 **magswguitarbags:** THANK YOU

**bbbbessssiieeee:** WHAT?

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** I MUST SEE THIS

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** SOMEOEN SEND THE LINKkkkkk

**rockyroad:** someoen

**bbbbessssiieeee:** shut the fuck up

**mariavonthedrums:** just search "the six queens" on youtube

 **mariavonthedrums:** you'll know which one's them

**makesomeloveforjoan:** poor jane and catherine

 **makesomeloveforjoan:** they look like they're dying

**magswguitarbags:** and then cath's just there look completely neutral

**rockyroad:** that's her dying state according to kit

**magswguitarbags:** ripp

**maudthemom:** their cover is really good as well, i bet kat was in charge of that

**magswguitarbags:** wait i found the channel first they dont have a cover??

**maudthemom:** they just released it

 **maudthemom:** it's good for you from dear evan hansen

**magswguitarbags:** BITCH NOW I GOTTA GO WATCH IT

**rockyroad:** if it's deh then it's kit

**bbbbessssiieeee:** WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SO FUKING GOOD!?!?

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** like the dissing of henry throughout the entire cover? woghjoweih

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** and then the intro vid was hilarious

**makesomeloveforjoan:** they never show his face, who's playing henry??

**mariavonthedrums:** just asked catherine, she said it was toby

**magswguitarbags:** stannnn

**rockyroad:** @bbbbessssiieeee its not rlly dissing more like throwing fingers at him

**bbbbessssiieeee:** tru tru

**maudthemom:** the queendom really is amazing

 **maudthemom:** they're almost at 100k already

**makesomeloveforjoan:** well i'll be in the kitchen making a celebration cake if you need me

**mariavonthedrums:** posted on my story

**magswguitarbags:** same

**rockyroad:** subscribed as well as posted!

**maudthemom:** oh, i forgot you can do that

**magswguitarbags:** mom friends at their finest

**rockyroad:** AGH 99879

**bbbbessssiieeee:** SUBSCRIBE TO ZE SIX QUEENS!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea where the hurt/comfort came from
> 
> probably bc it's my favorite trope
> 
> also ANYONE WANNA MAKE AN ANIMATIC OF GOOD FOR YOU FOR THE QUEENS I WILL WATCH IT pls do, i'd do it if i could draw, but i can't so pls make it if you want <3


	11. the banana escapade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TheScotsman  
> As for me, I would like to read all about the banana escapade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not a retelling like u probably wanted, but a recreation
> 
> also i have no idea wat the banana escapade is, i just came up with a title and u wanted details soooooooo hERe Ya gO
> 
> but actually i have no idea what this is

**golden** **:** WHAT WAS THAT?

(a couple seconds as footsteps are heard across the house)

**kitkatkittykat:** WHO THE FUCK SCARED MY CATHY BEAR?!?!??!!??!!?

**beheadedbitch:** not me, im snooping her room to see what happened

 **beheadedbitch:** there's a fucking banana w googly eyes

**kitkatkittykat:** WHAT

**iguessimtheirmom:** that's not a good sign

**kitkatkittykat:** IT'S THE FUCKING BANANA ESCAPADE AGAIN!!

**golden:** first off, that's what you've been calling that?

 **golden:** second, weren't you laughing both times?

**kitkatkittykat:** 1, yes we've been calling it that. 2, it was funny the first few times u guys reacted, then it seemed a little bit off and pushy

**beheadedbitch:** so basically u laughed pt 1 but not pt 2

**kitkatkittykat:** yes

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm assuming cath's with you? she's not answering

**kitkatkittykat:** yea

 **kitkatkittykat:** she says she's not dead, thankfully

**golden:** alright, so it's none of us.

**beheadedbitch:** @thebetteranne ur quiet

**thebetteranne:** i've had nothing to say

**kitkatkittykat:** (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ --kat

 **kitkatkittykat:** ┬─┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) --cath

**thebetteranne:** bitch u gvae them to her but not me??

**kitkatkittykat:** i'm not giving them to u now after you PUT A FUCKING BANANA W CREEP EYES AND A FUCKING KNIFE IN FRONT OF MY FACE --cath

**thebetteranne:** OKAY but theyre not creepy ITS JUST FUCKING GOOGLY EYES

 **thebetteranne:** ITTY BITTY CHILDREN PLAY W THEM ALL THE TIME

**golden:** u wouldn't know the evil inside of them

**iguessimtheirmom:** i forgot catherine was another victim of this

(a few seconds as more footsteps can be heard running through the house)

**iguessimtheirmom:** what was that one?

**beheadedbitch:** ANNAAAA

**thebetteranne:** wat?

**golden:** YOU PUT A DEMON BANANA ON MY BED

**thebetteranne:** pfff okay theyre not demons!

**coffeegivesmelife:** ಠ_ಠ

**thebetteranne:** aw come on!

 **thebetteranne:** u guys r overreacting!

**golden:** cath, we're going into lockdown

**coffeegivesmelife:** i'll get the pack

 **coffeegivesmelife:** but first

 **coffeegivesmelife:** (∩ ` -´)⊃━━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

**kitkatkittykat:** wat?

**coffeegivesmelife:** protection and prayers for u all

**beheadedbitch:**???

**iguessimtheirmom:** i knew they'd react strangely, but lockdown?

 **iguessimtheirmom:** really?

**golden:** it's necessary

 **golden:** maybe you oughta control ur gf

**thebetteranne:** GASP

**iguessimtheirmom:** i try, but i really thought anne threw out all the googly eyes

**coffeegivesmelife:** demon eyes*

**golden:** creep eyes*

**beheadedbitch:** but i did

 **beheadedbitch:** i rlly threw them all out i swear

**iguessimtheirmom:** anna, love....

**thebetteranne:** kat save me

**kitkatkittykat:** no

**thebetteranne:** BUT Y

**kitkatkittykat:** we didnt need a banana escapade pt 3

 **kitkatkittykat:** yet here we r

**golden:** cath how many rations do we need?

**iguessimtheirmom:** darling, where'd u get the googly eyes?

**coffeegivesmelife:** just get a week's worth

**thebetteranne:** i hid them in the attic

**coffeegivesmelife:**......

 **coffeegivesmelife:** ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

**golden:** okay plan b get the tent

**beheadedbitch:** ive never seen lina like this before

 **beheadedbitch:** idk how to react

**coffeegivesmelife:** I HAVE THE FUCKIGN PACK U GET IT

**kitkatkittykat:** same, w cathy too

**golden:** I HAVE THE FOOD AND WATER JSUT PUT THE TENT ON TOP OF THE PACK

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm just not reacting

**coffeegivesmelife:** ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

 **coffeegivesmelife:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 **coffeegivesmelife:** (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

 **coffeegivesmelife:** FINE

**thebetteranne:** i for one am enjoying this

**beheadedbitch:** we know

**kitkatkittykat:** we know

**iguessimtheirmom** **:** we know

**golden:** HURRY UP

**thebetteranne:** the ppl wont know what we know

**kitkatkittykat:** no

**coffeegivesmelife:** OMFG HOW MANY DEMON BANANAS R IN THIS HOUSE??

**beheadedbitch:** yea anna, how many

**golden:** GET OVER HERE

**thebetteranne:** enough to drive them nuts

**coffeegivesmelife:** IM TRYING THIS SHIT IS HEAVY AND IM TRYING TO TEXT U

**iguessimtheirmom:** anna love why did you think this was a good idea?

**golden:** IM COMING HANG ON

**thebetteranne:** it was an honest pure prank i swear

**beheadedbitch:** we know thats not tru

**thebetteranne:** ok fine, someone on ze internet told me i cant pull good pranks

 **thebetteranne:** this was the best thing that happened to us

 **thebetteranne:** best prank*

**kitkatkittykat:** guys theyre actually setting up a full ass tent in the backyard

**iguessimtheirmom:** language

**kitkatkittykat:** :3

(a few minutes later when the tent is all set up)

**golden:** on behalf of both of us, we'd like to formally say goodbye as we will be quarantining ourselves for week, and protecting ourselves from los plátanos demonio

 **golden:** we love you all, but it must be done until they have disappeared.

**coffeegivesmelife:** bye

 **coffeegivesmelife:** <(^_^)>

**kitkatkittykat:** WHAT NO CATHY CUDDLES FOR A WEEK???

 **kitkatkittykat:** I REFUSEEEEEE

**beheadedbitch:** LINA NO COME BACKKKKKKKKKKK

 **beheadedbitch:** I NEED UUUUUUUU

**kitkatkittykat:** AND WAT ABOUT THE SHOW????

**beheadedbitch:** THINK OF THE FANSSSSS

**kitkatkittykat:** THINK OF OUR AMAZING ALTERNATES WHO WOULD GET BEAT DOWN FROM PLAYING UR CHARACTERS FOR A WEEK

**beheadedbitch:** THINK OF US QUEENS!!

**thebetteranne:** wat have i done?

**iguessimtheirmom: *** cough cough*

**thebetteranne:** stop i get it

(an hour later)

**beheadedbitch:** do u think it's a bad idea to bring them smores?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wtf is this chapter?


	12. anne the sexpert pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> UnchartedRaider  
> Next chapter : Cathy needs the sexpert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set after the banana escapade has calmed down

_kitten sent a private message to cathybear_

**kitten:** cathy?

**cathybear:** yea?

**kitten:** uve been....

 **kitten:** how do i put this?

 **kitten:** off?

**cathybear:** wdym?

**kitten:** is smthn wrong?

**cathybear:** no, nothing, y would u think that?

**kitten:** alright now i know what it is

**cathybear:**?

**kitten:** and u wont like my solution

**cathybear:**?

 **cathybear:** wait 

(a few seconds for realization)

**cathybear:** NO

**kitten:** cathy i know that tone even over text, weve all done it before

**cathybear:** NO.

**kitten:** listen we both know u need anne the sexpert, and i am asking u to go see her

 **kitten:** i dont want u to be nervous or stressed about smthn 

**cathybear:** im very impressed u figured it out

 **cathybear:** and ilysm

 **cathybear:** but no

**kitten:** alright

_kitkatkittykat added coffeegivesmelife and beheadedbitch into a group chat_

_kitkatkittykat renamed the group chat 'ik u have private chat but this is the only way'_

**kitkatkittykat:** cathy: u need this

 **kitkatkittykat:** anne: it's happening

_kitkatkittykat has changed admin permissions_

_kitkatkittykat left the group chat_

**beheadedbitch:** ok first let me pull an anna for a sec

_beheadedbitch changed multiple user names_

**thepatient:** not like i have a choice

 **thepatient:** i can't leave

**thesexpert:** wait one more thing

_thesexpert renamed the group chat to 'cath's first sexpert session'_

**thepatient:** this is dumb

 **thepatient:** and unnecessary

**thesexpert:** it clearly is if kat's forcing u to talk to me

 **thesexpert:** so whats on ur mind?

**thepatient:** like i'm telling u

 **thepatient:** should i trust u with my sex life?

 **thepatient:** my gf's literally ur cousin

**thesexpert:** u doubt my abilities?

(no reply for a few seconds)

**thesexpert:** alright then

_thesexpert added iguessimtheirmom to 'cath's first sexpert session'_

_thesexpert changed iguessimtheirmom's user to theproof_

**thepatient:** tf?

 **thepatient:** of all the queens, u choose jane????

**theproof:** anne, what's going on?

**thesexpert:** read the chat name

(few seconds to read)

**theproof:** oh

**thesexpert:** i wish to ask u:

 **thesexpert:** as the only other person who was forced into a session w me, would u say it was worth it?

**theproof:** surprisingly, yes

 **theproof:** @thepatient cath it IS a bit strange to be talking with anne of all the queens, but she actually knows what she's doing

 **theproof:** so trust her

**thepatient:**.....alright fine

**theproof:** now can someone explain why i can't leave the chat?

**thesexpert:** oh when kat made the chat, she changed admin to only me and her before leaving

 **thesexpert:** i'll remove u now, thx mum!

**theproof:** ofc i guess?

 **theproof:** good luck cath!

**thepatient:** thx

_thesexpert removed theproof from the group chat_

**thesexpert:** now in times like these, it's best to just get straight to the point

 **thesexpert:** which is ironic bc neither of us r straight

**thepatient:** i should've seen that coming

**thesexpert:** and like most appointments, itd be best to do it in person

**thepatient:** but we cant do that rn

**thesexpert:** exactly

 **thesexpert:** so whassup?

(hesitation)

**thepatient:** y tf am i doing this?

**thesexpert:** cuz u had no choiiiiice

 **thesexpert:** and now it's us alone

**thepatient:** u little--

**thesexpert:** srry not srry

 **thesexpert:** bout wat i said

**thepatient:** wat did someone challenge u again?

**thesexpert:** nah thats normal theatre kid vibing

 **thesexpert:** plus the songs have been stuck in my head more than usual today soooo

**thepatient:** alright i guess

**thesexpert:** and ive been through enough appointments to know ur stalling

**thepatient:** ಠ_ಠ

 **thepatient:** how??

**thesexpert:** i know things

 **thesexpert:** and sexpert knows things about getting in bed

 **thesexpert:** u know wat i mean

**thepatient:** shut up

**thesexpert:** whats got u so worked up that little kitkat noticed and forced this upon u?

**thepatient:**.....

**thesexpert:** lets put it this way

 **thesexpert:** ive figured out four categories my appointments r about

 **thesexpert:** confusion, repetitive, overdoing (meaning a lot of sex its probably not good), and kinks

 **thesexpert:** its definitely not confusion, as youve had sex... (as much as i hate to admit and think about)

**thepatient:**.....

**thesexpert:** dont tell me u still need help

**thepatient:** whoa no bitch? thats a first

**thesexpert:** cath.

**thepatient:** ughh

 **thepatient:** ik which category but it's fucking hard to admit it

 **thepatient:** especially to u

**thesexpert:** rude.

 **thesexpert:** but srsly, if its judgement ur worried bout, i got none of that

 **thesexpert:** im not gonna judge u on wat u tell me,

 **thesexpert:** and everything we talk about i keep confidential, so it's up to u to share

 **thesexpert:** plus, ive put up w the fact youve slept w my baby cousin and i havent judged u sooo

**thepatient:**....

 **thepatient:** it's kinks

**thesexpert:** knew it

**thepatient:** ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

 **thepatient:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 **thepatient:** bitch if u knew why didn't u move on??

**thesexpert:** first step is admitting it

 **thesexpert:** if u cant admit it, how r u gonna admit it to ur partner?

 **thesexpert:** in ur case, kitkat?

**thepatient:** sdkvah;oeshipas

 **thepatient:** y???

**thesexpert:**?

**thepatient:** y must this be working?

**thesexpert:** the powers of the sexpert

 **thesexpert:** so its kinks then

 **thesexpert:** explain

**thepatient:** shoabnva;

 **thepatient:** must i?

**thesexpert:** unless u wanna be a blubbering mess in front of kat then....

**thepatient:** (－‸ლ)

 **thepatient:** fine

 **thepatient:** i got into this kink but i'm pretty sure it's uncommon and it turns me on like hell

**thesexpert:**....and?

**thepatient:** and i wanna do it but it's gonna make me seem like a kinky freak

 **thepatient:** kat and i already have our stuff and i'm pretty sure it's a lot more than most couples

 **thepatient:** i don't want to add to it and seem needy? or a freak?

 **thepatient:** agh i just told u all that

**thesexpert:** and thats good

 **thesexpert:** u admitted it

**thepatient:** and now i'm regretting it

**thesexpert:** well don't

 **thesexpert:** anyway, kat's told me that u two have the following:

 **thesexpert:** orgasm denial, roleplay, and cat ears?

**thepatient:**.....

 **thepatient:** my fucking god catherine just asked if i was alright

**thesexpert:** lollllll

**thepatient:** i'm putting my hood up this is not ok

**thesexpert:** no, keep it down

 **thesexpert:** or its gonna seem like ur reading smut

**thepatient:** ok ok i'll keep it down

**thesexpert:** great

**thepatient:** but this doesn't solve my dilemma 

**thesexpert:** just ask her

**thepatient:** and that is exactly what i've been worried about anne!

**thesexpert:** i stg just talk it out

 **thesexpert:** it turns u on right?

**thepatient:**.....right

**thesexpert:** so it's gonna be fine

 **thesexpert:** kat is the sweetest person u will ever meet, shes not gonna hate u

**thepatient:** the first part, yes

 **thepatient:** the second....

 **thepatient:** r u SURE??

**thesexpert:** YES

 **thesexpert:** but out of curiousity, wat is it?

**thepatient:** like I'M telling YOU

**thesexpert:** u just had a successful session w the sexpert

 **thesexpert:** my chances r high like grind

**thepatient:** still don't understand the grind

 **thepatient:** and still not telling u

**thesexpert:** fair enough

 **thesexpert:** tell me wat u need

 **thesexpert:** wat u want u dont need to plead

**thepatient:** srsly?

**thesexpert:** i mean, im sure its bound to be said between u two sooner or later

 **thesexpert:** if not already

**thepatient:** wtf anne?

**thesexpert:** or maybe smthn similar

 **thesexpert:** but anyway cath

 **thesexpert:** just know u can trust me w this stuff alright?

 **thesexpert:** i mean, it helped calm ur nerves a bit right?

 **thesexpert:** the venting plus reassurance?

**thepatient:** yeah

 **thepatient:** never thought id say this

 **thepatient:** but thank you anne the sexpert

**thesexpert:** and ladies and gentlemen and non-binary and those in between,

 **thesexpert:** catherine parr has said it

**thepatient:** nice inclusivity

**thesexpert:** thx

 **thesexpert:** now go talk to kat

 **thesexpert:** should i wrangle everyone out?

**thepatient:** wait, do u do this every time someone has an appointment with u?

**thesexpert:** i always ask

 **thesexpert:** not everyone fucks right after the talk-through

 **thesexpert:** and not everyone does the talk-through right after the appointment

 **thesexpert:** u know, case case scenario 

**thepatient:** ah

**thesexpert:** ur case?

**thepatient:** tbh not sure

 **thepatient:** but to be safe

**thesexpert:** i'll get to it then

**thepatient:** thx again anne

 **thepatient:** mind deleting the chat pls?

**thesexpert:** sure

 **thesexpert:** and no problem cath

_thesexpert deleted 'cath's first sexpert session'_

_cathybear sent a private message to kitten_

**cathybear:** hey kitten

**kitten:** it helped didnt it?

**cathybear:** surprisingly, yes

 **cathybear:** can we talk?

 **cathybear:** in my room?

**kitten:** ok

 **kitten:** one question

**cathybear:** go ahead

**kitten:** is anne wrangling up everyone?

**cathybear:**.....maybe?

 **cathybear:** y?

 **cathybear:** is it bad?

**kitten:** not in the slightest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh two chapters one night????
> 
> or maybe it's the prompt.... idk
> 
> comment ideas if yall want to!
> 
> it's 2:06 am here imma go sleep now


	13. anne gets heelys (just her?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CinderSpots  
> Whoops, sorry Catherine and Jane, I've let Anne know of the existence of Heelys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys they live in the uk but i live in america so thats why it says dollars instead of pounds ik it's different just...... let me be? pls?

_beheadedbitch added golden, iguessimtheirmom, thebetteranne, kitkatkittykat, coffeegivesmelife, mariavonthedrums, magswguitarbags, makesomeloveforjoan, bbbbessssiieeee, rockyroad, and maudthemom into a group chat_

**bbbbessssiieeee:** tf?

_beheadedbitch renamed the group chat 'a favor pls'_

**thebetteranne:** im confused but i luv the idea of putting all 12 of us into a gc

**coffeegivesmelife:** anna? not changing users?

 **coffeegivesmelife:** a strange day indeed

**kitkatkittykat:** banana escapades pt 1 2 and 3

**iguessimtheirmom:** ship prank war™

**rockyroad:** jane's bday party during tech week

**magswguitarbags:** "MAKE SOME LOVE FOR JOAN"

**makesomeloveforjoan:** still not appreciating this user

**bbbbessssiieeee:** shush it's great

**golden:** can't u change it?

**makesomeloveforjoan:** u can do that?

 **makesomeloveforjoan:** how??

**mariavonthedrums:** only admins can change users

**kitkatkittykat:** everyone has admin??

**makesomeloveforjoan:** it's not letting me

**beheadedbitch:** guys i turned off the changing ur own user thing

 **beheadedbitch:** only the creator can, and i aint changing it

 **beheadedbitch:** its too great

**makesomeloveforjoan:** fine i suppose

**maudthemom:** may i ask why you made this group chat @thebetteranne ?

**thebetteranne:** wrong anne, maud

**beheadedbitch:** im anne

**maudthemom:** oh sorry

**mariavonthedrums:** srsly @beheadedbitch y does this exist?

**beheadedbitch:** gc name

**rockyroad:** ok but y do u need all of us???

**beheadedbitch:**.....

**iguessimtheirmom:** how much money do you need??

**bbbbessssiieeee:** u got that from her five periods?

**magswguitarbags:** sdavhipawieog

**bbbbessssiieeee:** oh god srry not those periods

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** little bitch @magswguitarbags

**kitkatkittykat:** mum has mum powers

**coffeegivesmelife:** mum+cousin powers*

**rockyroad:** anne how much money do u fucking need that u had to ask all of us??

**beheadedbitch:** uhhh

**golden:** Anne.

**beheadedbitch:** 100 dollars

**thebetteranne:** WTF?

**magswguitarbags:** Y DO U NEED 100 FUCKING DOLLARS??

**beheadedbitch:** uhh

 **beheadedbitch:** <https://heelys.com/collections/premium-lo>

**beheadedbitch:** <https://heelys.com/collections/women/products/pro-26>

**mariavonthedrums:** oh.

 **mariavonthedrums:** god no.

**rockyroad:** SHOW STOPPING NUMBER!!!

 **rockyroad:** A REAL SHOW STOPPER!

**beheadedbitch:** BITCH UR A STARKID FAN AND U NEVER TOLD ME???

**rockyroad:** i thought it was too underground omfg another starkid stan

**maudthemom:** i'm confused on multiple levels

**golden:** anne i am not paying for devil shoes

**beheadedbitch:** first it was demon bananas and now its devil shoes??

**coffeegivesmelife:** OK BUT THOSE BANANAS R FUCKING EVIL

**makesomeloveforjoan:** i never understood the banana escapade

**iguessimtheirmom:** anne, there's a reason we never told u about heelys

**kitkatkittykat:**...

**magswguitarbags:** oh no

**thebetteranne:**...

**mariavonthedrums:** god no

**rockyroad:**...

**coffeegivesmelife:** no no no

**bbbbessssiieeee:**...

**golden:** ok....

 **golden:** wait for it.

**kitkatkittykat:** ANNIE PLS TELL ME THE OTHER PAIR IS FOR ME!

**thebetteranne:** THEYRE RUCKING SHOES W WEHELS ON THEM

**rockyroad:** DUDE NO ITS ROLLER SKATES BUT BETTER

(few secs)

**iguessimtheirmom:** well bessie didn't answer

**makesomeloveforjoan** **:** hold on, she's probably typing

**bbbbessssiieeee:** BITCH THERE IS NO WAY THAT I WILL SIT BACK WHILE U GET TO BUY THESE FUCKING SHOES THAT I HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR FOR OVER A YEAR NOW! NO NO NO! I HAVE BEEN SAVING UP MY MONEY AND I WILL BUY THE FUCKING HEELYS, ROLL ON OVER TO UR HOUSE, AND FUCKING HEELY ALL OVER UR DRIVEWAY JUST TO MAKE U JEALOUS BITCH!

**golden:**...has bessie known about heelys for that long?

**mariavonthedrums:** sadly yes

 **mariavonthedrums:** when we refused to pay for them, she said almost the same thing and has been saving up ever since

 **mariavonthedrums:** ofc, if she did a better job, she would've gotten them sooner

**iguessimtheirmom:** i think it's best that she didn't

**makesomeloveforjoan:** how so?

**magswguitarbags:** bc if she got them sooner, we'd have to deal w "anne and the heelys" a lot sooner without our mental preparation

 **magswguitarbags:** i guess the day just had to come

**maudthemom:** i'm more surprised that bessie hadn't told the other four about them when she first discovered them

**coffeegivesmelife:** well, u kinda refused to buy them for her,

 **coffeegivesmelife:** it's bessie

**maudthemom:** i wasn't there, i just noticed how utterly chaotic it'd be if word got out

**iguessimtheirmom:** and now word is out

**beheadedbitch:** HELLO IS ANYONE GONNA HELP A GIRL OUT??

**golden:** first off, you ARE NOT getting TWO PAIRS of heelys.

 **golden:** copy?

**beheadedbitch:** paste

**thebetteranne:** don't start now

**kitkatkittykat:** DID A FULL 180

 **kitkatkittykat:** CRAZY

**rockyroad:** kit, ily we need to do a joint tiktok,

 **rockyroad:** but nrn

**magswguitarbags:** wtf is that?

**rockyroad:** not rn bogus

**magswguitarbags:**??

**bbbbessssiieeee:** i question how close the two of u r sometimes

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** BUT HEELYSSSSSS

**iguessimtheirmom:** it's a no for me girls, sorry

**beheadedbitch:** WHEN DID THIS TURN INTO A GIRLS????

 **beheadedbitch:** IT'S MY FAVOR!!

_thebetteranne renamed the group chat 'pls buy the five of us heelys'_

**thebetteranne:** not anymore bitch

**rockyroad:** wait

_rockyroad renamed the group chat 'pls buy the four of us not anne heelys'_

**beheadedbitch:** WAT HAPPENED FELLOW STARKID STAN?!?!

**rockyroad:** oh shit right srry

_rockyroad renamed the group chat 'pls buy the five of us no bessie heelys'_

**beheadedbitch:** ty

**bbbbessssiieeee:** ROCKY Y??

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** I HAVE BEEN WAITING THE FUCKING LONGEST

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** IF ANYTHING I DESERVE THE HEELYS

**rockyroad:** fuckkkkkk

 **rockyroad:** @kitkatkittykat

**kitkatkittykat:** no y u gotta bring me into thissssss

 **kitkatkittykat:** abstain

 **kitkatkittykat:** i just want heelys now

**thebetteranne:** ok i will solve our problem

_thebetteranne renamed the group chat 'pls buy the five of us heelys'_

**thebetteranne:** NOW DONT CHANGE IT BITCHES

 **thebetteranne:** @rockyroad

**rockyroad:** ok ok srry

 **rockyroad:** jeez

**coffeegivesmelife:** r u done?

**beheadedbitch:** were done when i get heelys

 **beheadedbitch:** we*

**bbbbessssiieeee:** bitch i saw that

**kitkatkittykat:** @maudthemom

 **kitkatkittykat:** ♡(ू•‧̫•ू⑅)

**thebetteranne:** kat where tf do u and cath get those things i must know!!!

**coffeegivesmelife:** it's a parrward thing so no thx

**thebetteranne:** fucking assholes

**kitkatkittykat:** ( •_•)  
( •_•)>⌐■-■  
(⌐■_■)

**coffeegivesmelife:** ╭∩╮（︶_︶）╭∩╮

**thebetteranne:** awhgpoisaeh

**rockyroad:** ANYWAY

 **rockyroad:** @maudthemom

**maudthemom:** y don't u ask the others?

**bbbbessssiieeee:** hmm let's see

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** others, can u pls give us some money to buy heelys?

**golden:** no

**makesomeloveforjoan:** i don't think it's a good idea, sorry

**magswguitarbags:** u ain't getting my money

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm scared you're all gonna get hurt, so no

**mariavonthedrums:** nope

**coffeegivesmelife:** (¬д¬ 。)

**rockyroad:** see?

 **rockyroad:** pls consider this

**beheadedbitch:** ur our only hope

**thebetteranne:** have mercy on us

**bbbbessssiieeee:** don't be like them pls

**kitkatkittykat:** please cathy's mum?

 **kitkatkittykat:** 人´ ∀｀ )

 **kitkatkittykat:** (U●ﻌ●)(U●ﻌ●)(U●ﻌ●)(U●ﻌ●)(U●ﻌ●)

 **kitkatkittykat:** ♡(ू•‧̫•ू⑅)

**maudthemom:**.....

**makesomeloveforjoan:** maud....

**golden:** darling i beg of you

 **golden:** don't

**maudthemom:** i will pay 5 dollars for each pair of heelys

 **maudthemom:** on one condition

**beheadedbitch:** waht?

 **beheadedbitch:** pls?

 **beheadedbitch:** tell me

**maudthemom:** u will raise the rest of it yourselves

 **maudthemom:** AND

 **maudthemom:** Absolutely no heelys in the houses or the theatre.

 **maudthemom:** If someone sees you using them inside the house, I will have them confiscated and brought to me.

**coffeegivesmelife:** (side note: she doesn't kid around about this stuff, so i'd listen. she will follow through HARD)

**maudthemom:** Are we clear?

**rockyroad:** YES YES

**kitkatkittykat:** OMG YES TYSM

**bbbbessssiieeee:** HA I GET THEM BEFORE THE REST OF U BITCHES IT'S A DEAL MAUD THX

**thebetteranne:** YES I AM GAME THX MAUD

**beheadedbitch:** :)

 **beheadedbitch:** <(^_^)>

 **beheadedbitch:** thank you

**maudthemom:** you're welcome girls

**iguessimtheirmom:** @coffeegivesmelife how good is maud at enforcing these things?

**golden:** very good

**mariavonthedrums:** really follows through with it

**coffeegivesmelife:** she does not joke around

**magswguitarbags:** well

 **magswguitarbags:** let's hope no one dies

**makesomeloveforjoan:** they're not going to die,

 **makesomeloveforjoan:** but i just heard a bunch of thumping?

**mariavonthedrums:** i'm sure it's bessie and rocky excited over picking them out

**iguessimtheirmom;** yeah, same over here

**coffeegivesmelife:** i bet anne is gonna last one standing

 **coffeegivesmelife:** as in excitement still not dying down

**magswguitarbags:** how much?

**coffeegivesmelife:** 50

**golden:** 60, siding with cath

**iguessimtheirmom:** idk, i think it might be rocky, 40?

**maudthemom:** 40, anne

**magswguitarbags:** only 40?

**maudthemom:** i have a budget

 **maudthemom:** y else would i only offer 5 to each?

**magswguitarbags:** true

 **magswguitarbags:** anyway, 60, kat

**mariavonthedrums:** 50, anna

**makesomeloveforjoan:** 40, bessie

**magswguitarbags:** let the games begin

**kitkatkittykat:** u do know we can see this right?

**coffeegivesmelife:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**mariavonthedrums:** tbh those things r starting to get annoying

**coffeegivesmelife:** ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌

**mariavonthedrums:** >:((((

 **mariavonthedrums:** u wanna go wise girl?

**beheadedbitch:** u wont win

 **beheadedbitch:** especially w all those double chins

**rockyroad:** pfffff

**mariavonthedrums:** wtf?

**thebetteranne:** we r officially keeping the gc

_bbbbessssiieeee renamed the group chat 'and then there were 12'_

**magswguitarbags:** sure y not?

**beheadedbitch:** HEELY SQUAD TIME TO GO EARN SOME MOOLAH

**kitkatkittykat:** MOVE OUT

**bbbbessssiieeee:** MOVE OUT

**thebetteranne:** MOVE OUT

**rockyroad:** MOVE OUT

**maudthemom:** now i'm concerned, what have i agreed to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet yeet if ya have ideas, feel free to comment!! (as in i should probably get more chapters planned out, i only have one more for sure chapter send ideas pls)


	14. new queens?? (U•ﻌ•)(U•ﻌ•)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *everyone's out of the house at the beginning, it'll make sense as u read
> 
> (for the record the picture is a link go click on it)

_besteline sent a private message to redbestie_

**besteline:** can u come home?

 **besteline:** like rn???

**redbestie:** y? wasup?

**besteline:** smthn

 **besteline:** ill explain when u get here

 **besteline:** i just rlly need ur help

**redbestie:** but y me?

 **redbestie:** ik im ur bestie and all but

**besteline:** pls?

**redbestie:** just teasing besteline

 **redbestie:** im omw

**besteline:** <3

**redbestie:** <3

(hours later)

_golden sent a message to 'craphead is a female dog'_

**golden:** Katherine Howard and Anna Cleves tell me right now why you've locked all of us out of the house!

**coffeegivesmelife:** @kitkatkittykat @thebetteranne

**thebetteranne:** srry we thought someone was gonna rob us

**iguessimtheirmom:** we unlocked the door but we can't open it?

**kitkatkittykat:** uhh well be there in a bit

(a few seconds)

**beheadedbitch:** WTF WAS THAT?

**thebetteranne:** i coughed

**iguessimtheirmom:** but no cough is so loud that we can hear it from out here

**thebetteranne:** it was a cough and a sneeze at the same time

**coffeegivesmelife:** if u coughed and sneezed at the same time it wouldn't sound like that

**thebetteranne:** mine does

**golden:** no it doesn't, i've heard you cough and sneeze at the same time before

(kat's voice is heard from outside)

**coffeegivesmelife:** what is going on??

 **coffeegivesmelife:** who tf is wolfie?

(kat and anna r heard now)

**beheadedbitch:** wolfie and magic??

**kitkatkittykat:** one more moment

(the door is heard being opened and two puppies run out, one white and one black)

(Anne and Cath stop them from running into the street as Jane and Catherine process the situation

**golden:** we need to talk

 **golden:** Now.

 **golden:** come here and get these dogs away from cath before her allergies start showing

**thebetteranne:** actually hes a hypoallergenic breed

 **thebetteranne:** but ok

(catherine tells the others to stay outside as she talks with kat and anna)

(the others decide that anne will stay and wait for catherine while cath and jane go look for lost dog posters)

_beheadedbitch added iguessimtheirmom and coffeegivesmelife to a group chat_

_beheadedbitch renamed the group chat 'let's guess what they did this time'_

**coffeegivesmelife:** u say that as if u and kitty aren't the most likely to get into trouble

**iguessimtheirmom:** i thought it was anne and anna

**beheadedbitch:** haha very funny guys

 **beheadedbitch:** but srsly, wat did they do?

**coffeegivesmelife:** as if the dogs aren't any indication

**iguessimtheirmom:** well, kat was home alone to begin with, so i assume she found the dogs first

 **iguessimtheirmom:** then probably called anna for help

**beheadedbitch:** anna?

 **beheadedbitch:** not me?

**coffeegivesmelife:** if it's anything not associated with animals, then she'd call u

 **coffeegivesmelife:** but this is two live puppies

 **coffeegivesmelife:** ofc she'd call anna

**iguessimtheirmom:** anna IS the animal expert in the house

**beheadedbitch:** we need a name for it

 **beheadedbitch:** animexpert

**iguessimtheirmom:** what?

**coffeegivesmelife:** it looks like ur calling her an expert on anime

 **coffeegivesmelife:** so no

**beheadedbitch:** aw come on

**iguessimtheirmom:** let's just keep it at animal expert

**coffeegivesmelife:** agreed

**beheadedbitch:** but like whered kitkat find the dogs?

 **beheadedbitch:** like did she steal them or...

**iguessimtheirmom:** kat? never

**coffeegivesmelife:** kitty is too sweet to be a dognapper

**beheadedbitch:** tru

**iguessimtheirmom:** as much as i agree with you, i thought i saw those two puppies somewhere

**beheadedbitch:** wait did she actually steal the doggos???

**iguessimtheirmom:** i pass this house on the way to work, the puppies were always chained up

 **iguessimtheirmom:** they had to drink from the rain pipe

**coffeegivesmelife:** oh god

**iguessimtheirmom:** since kat's never been down this way before, i assume she went over here for a walk

 **iguessimtheirmom:** sure enough the puppies are gone

**beheadedbitch:** omg kats a dognapper

**coffeegivesmelife:** is it dognapping if ur saving them from mistreatment?

 **coffeegivesmelife:** wait, jane were they always chained up like that? like for the entire day

**iguessimtheirmom:** from what i know, yes

 **iguessimtheirmom:** i always felt sorry for them, but i couldn't bring myself to talk to the owners about it

**beheadedbitch:** y not?

**iguessimtheirmom:** they aren't exactly the nicest people

**beheadedbitch:** ah so kat used the boleyn-howard cousin techniques ™ to sneak around and free the doggos

**coffeegivesmelife:** u don't actually call it that do u?

**beheadedbitch:** well kat and i call it bhct but neither of u would get it so i spelled it out

**coffeegivesmelife:** okay.....

 **coffeegivesmelife:** anyway is catherine not done yet?

**beheadedbitch:** no

**iguessimtheirmom:** knowing kat and anna, they're probably trying to convince catherine to let them stay

**coffeegivesmelife:** tbh i hope they succeed

**beheadedbitch:** wait dont u have allergies or smthn?

**coffeegivesmelife:** yea but i still love dogs a lot

 **coffeegivesmelife:** plus anna said they were a hypoallergenic breed

**iguessimtheirmom:** can someone explain pls?

**beheadedbitch:** yea, i'm smart but not too much with animsla

**coffeegivesmelife:** animsla

**beheadedbitch:** stfu

**coffeegivesmelife:** ;P

**iguessimtheirmom:** cath?

**coffeegivesmelife:** yes, srry

 **coffeegivesmelife:** basically it means the dogs r a type of breed that wont trigger my allergies

 **coffeegivesmelife:** i think it means that they have hair instead of fur, but don't quote me on that

**beheadedbitch:** cath ur supposed to be the smart one

**coffeegivesmelife:** yea, but not so much with animals

 **coffeegivesmelife:** u said it urself anna is the animal expert

**iguessimtheirmom:** she does love animals

 **iguessimtheirmom:** and gets to work with them at her job

**beheadedbitch:** yea ur right

**coffeegivesmelife:** anne saying i'm right AND two puppies?

 **coffeegivesmelife:** what a day

**beheadedbitch:** fuck u

**iguessimtheirmom:** Anne!

**coffeegivesmelife:** nah, kitty's got that handled

**iguessimtheirmom:** Cath!

**beheadedbitch:** disgusting

**coffeegivesmelife:** u asked bitch

**iguessimtheirmom:** would u two stop arguing?

 **iguessimtheirmom:** sometimes your arguing is almost the same as catherine and anne when we first came together

**coffeegivesmelife:** well she's my godmother

 **coffeegivesmelife:** guess i take after her

**beheadedbitch:** guys come on home

**iguessimtheirmom:** catherine came out?

**beheadedbitch:** no, but i can hear her making a deal w anna and kat

**coffeegivesmelife:** u could hear her this entire time?

**beheadedbitch:** well yea but i couldnt make out wat they were saying until now

**iguessimtheirmom:** omw 

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok whatever i'm omw

(a significant amount of time later)

_kitkatkittykat sent a message to 'and then there were 12'_

**kitkatkittykat:** _[[picture attached]](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcQdRylVSaAWZitEc-SNzOmTxgInvD5-XWOV_w&usqp=CAU) _

**rockyroad:** OMFG U GOT DOGGOS

**bbbbessssiieeee:** GOIAHPEV

**makesomeloveforjoan:** aww, they're really cute!

**magswguitarbags:** whatre their names??

**thebetteranne:** the black one is magic and the white one is wolfie

 **thebetteranne:** i even labelled it in the photo wtf man?

**magswguitarbags:** srry sryy just rlly excited!!

**maudthemom:** @coffeegivemelife don't you have allergies?

**coffeegivesmelife:** according to anna they're hypoallergenic

 **coffeegivesmelife:** and i haven't had any symptoms so we're all good!!

**mariavonthedrums:** ok but catherine would never let u guys get even ONE dog w/o a good reason

**kitkatkittykat:** i was on a walk cuz i didnt wanna be home alone for too long

 **kitkatkittykat:** i passed the house they were at and they were chained up and like rlly dirty and sad

**rockyroad:** omfg u stole them didn't u?

**kitkatkittykat:** yea....

 **kitkatkittykat:** but when i explained the situation to the vet, they said it was fine

 **kitkatkittykat:** they were rlly nice and supportive about it

**makesomeloveforjoan:** well, as long as you're not going to get arrested

**beheadedbitch:** the police would have to get through 11 badasses before that happens

**coffeegivesmelife:** rt

**bbbbessssiieeee:** rt

**thebetteranne:** on behalf of everyone, rt

**kitkatkittykat:** u guys r too sweet! <3

**mariavonthedrums:** so @golden that reason was good enough for u?

**golden:** kat and anna said they would take care of everything, so i said it was fine

**thebetteranne:** she says that as if i dont have a video of her cooing at both of them for a good 2 minutes

**beheadedbitch:** WTF U HAD THIS AND NEVER TOLD ME

 **beheadedbitch:** SEND IT NOW I WANNA SEE MY AMAZING GF BEING ALL CUTE

**thebetteranne:** dude i was saving it for blackmail

 **thebetteranne:** sigh i guess i will

**golden:** @thebetteranne i can change my mind whenever 

**maudthemom:** u say that as if you're not a chaotic soft inside

**rockyroad:**!!

**mariavonthedrums:** omg even the ultimate mom thinks so

**coffeegivesmelife:** THATS MAMA FOR YA

**magswguitarbags:** can we come over and see them?

 **magswguitarbags:** like now??

**kitkatkittykat:** come whenever guys!

**beheadedbitch:** yea its not like u havent shown up spontaneisly before

**coffeegivesmelife:** spontaneisly

**beheadedbitch:** bitch

**iguessimtheirmom:** anyway, we're all free right now if you wanna come and stay for dinner?

**bbbbessssiieeee:** IM DRIVING

**rockyroad:** y drive when we can heely?

**bbbbessssiieeee:** ooooooh yes good point we shall heely over

**kitkatkittykat:** anna, anne, and i will heely over to meet u

**thebetteranne:** ill bring wolfie and magic 

**coffeegivesmelife:** they don't have leashes yet??

**thebetteranne:** shit i forgot, ill just stay back then

**bbbbessssiieeee:** aww :(

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** ok fine

**mariavonthedrums:** the rest of us sane ppl will walk on over

**maudthemom:** see you queens there!

**golden:** see you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo gimme ideas pls i need more. like now. pls.


	15. who tf hurt mum??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CinderSpots  
> we need a chapter of Jane freaking out over something ridiculous and the other queens are all confused and it's freaking them out too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just jane's home
> 
> (and in case u need a reference for the one chat)  
> mumsolderchild--anne  
> mumsyoungestchild--kat  
> annassortofmumfigure--catherine  
> annassortofstepgodsister--cath

**iguessimtheirmom:** could someone come over here pls????

**golden:** what's wrong?

**beheadedbitch:** mum r u ok?

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm kinda freaking out right now

**kitkatkittykat:** mum??

**coffeegivesmelife:** jane, what's going on?

**iguessimtheirmom:** actually, i'm really freaking out right now

**thebetteranne:** WHOM THE FUCK FUCKING HURT MY JJ???

 **thebetteranne:** I SWEAR TO GOD WHOEVER IT IS I WILL MAKE THEM PAY

 **thebetteranne:** WHERE R U?

**iguessimtheirmom:** kitchen

 **iguessimtheirmom:** pls hurry

**golden:** what's going on?

**kitkatkittykat:** mums actually scared and now im getting scared

**beheadedbitch:** y wont she tell us???

**coffeegivesmelife:** ALRIGHT

 **coffeegivesmelife:** everyone take some deep breaths

**beheadedbitch:** done

**kitkatkittykat:** done

**golden:** done

**iguessimtheirmom:** done

**coffeegivesmelife:** good

 **coffeegivesmelife:** now @iguessimtheirmom

 **coffeegivesmelife:** WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED??

**iguessimtheirmom:** AGH IT CAME BACK SOEMONE HELPPPP

**golden:** anna shoudl be on her way beut like whats going ton/?

**beheadedbitch:** MUMMMM TELL US WRHATS WRONG UR RLLY FREAKINGM EOUT

**iguessimtheirmom:** GUYS HELKP I CNA'T BERATHE

**kitkatkittykat:** MUUUUUMMMMM

 **kitkatkittykat:** DEEP BREATHES

**iguessimtheirmom:** I CAN"T

**coffeegivesmelife:** JUST TEY

**iguessimtheirmom:** IM. FUCKIGN TYEING I NNED HELP

**beheadedbitch:** BICH NOW I SCNAT BREATHE

**kitkatkittykat:** NEITHGER VAN IIII

**golden:** EVEASRYONE CALM DOWN

**iguessimtheirmom:** CANDOT YOU SEE IM TYRING BITCH

**coffeegivesmelife:** HOW R U NOT FREAKING OUT

**golden:** I AM 

**golden:** BUT I AM TRYING TO CLAM DOWN

**beheadedbitch:** clam down??

**kitkatkittykat:** ANNE

**beheadedbitch:** I TRYIGN TO COPE BITHFC

**thebetteranne:** ALRIGHT IM COMING TO UR RESCUE JANEY CALM DOWN

**iguessimtheirmom:** OK OK IM TRYING

**thebetteranne:** WHERE IS IT??

**iguessimtheirmom:** theres one in teh kitchen and two in the livign room i saw them

**thebetteranne:** alright everyone else get calm and maek a new chat or whatever i need silence

**beheadedbitch:** ok

_greenbean sent a message to ‘save parrward/kittycath’_

**greenbean:** im still freaking outttt

**redstrawberry:** I SAID SILENCE BITCH

**greenbean:** shit wrong chat srry

_mumsolderchild sent a message to 'we need clevemour content'_

**mumsolderchild:** im still freaking outttt

**annassortofmumfigure:** remind me again why we have this chat?

**mumsyoungestchild:** bc we need more clevemour content

**annassortofstepgodsister:** that aside y tf is jane freaking out so much??

**mumsolderchild:** theres only one thing that would make mum freak out that much

 **mumsolderchild:** well freak out to text us and not call 999

**annassortofmumfigure:**?

**mumsyoungestchild:** no u dont mean...

**mumsolderchild:** yes

**annassortofstepgodsister:** anne i doubt it

**mumsolderchild:** but y else would she be freaking out???

(a few seconds)

**annassortofmumfigure:** is everyone calm now?

**mumsyoungestchild:** calm? no

 **mumsyoungestchild:** calmer? yes

**mumsolderchild:** hotel? trivago

**annassortofstepgodsister:** god no

 **annassortofstepgodsister:** pls

**mumsolderchild:** welp now i gtg

**annassortofmumfigure:** for what?

**mumsolderchild:** gtg help collete learn the stuff

**annassortofmumfigure:** oh right

**annassortofstepgodsister:** im still sad grace lefttttt

**annassortofmumfigure:** well i'm sure she's doing fine

 **annassortofmumfigure:** i just hope we won't have to cancel our show tonight

{*says this knowing about grace's plan to make a surprise appearance*}

**mumsyoungestchild:** we won't

 **mumsyoungestchild:** but i gtg too, rockys waiting

**annassortofstepgodsister:** ok then, let's just hope anna has this all covered

**annassortofmumfigure:** i'm sure she does

(a while later)

_ thebetteranne sent a message to 'craphead is a female dog' _

**thebetteranne:** _[picture attached]_

 **thebetteranne:** the bitches r gone

 **thebetteranne:** and jj is calm now

**kitkatkittykat:** thank god!!

 **kitkatkittykat:** also i am saving that pic

**beheadedbitch:** yayyyy

**coffeegivesmelife:** wait, i didn't read that wrong, right?

 **coffeegivesmelife:** u said the bitches r gone?

**golden:**.....what "bitches"?

**thebetteranne:** id send a pic but then jj would start freaking out again

**coffeegivesmelife:** u took a picture of the ppl that broke into the house??

**kitkatkittykat:** WAIT SOMEONE BROKE IN?

**thebetteranne:** no no no guys no one broke in

**beheadedbitch:** thats a relief

**thebetteranne:** jane found like three spiders in the house and got scared

 **thebetteranne:** she curled up on the counter when i walked into the kitchen

**iguessimtheirmom:** anna, you said you wouldn't tell them :(

**thebetteranne:** srry luv <3

**iguessimtheirmom:** :)

**kitkatkittykat:** screenshotted but also, mum was ON the counter?

**thebetteranne:** yea

**golden:** why?

 **golden:** they're just spiders

**coffeegivesmelife:** spiders and bugs r evil

**iguessimtheirmom:** cath understands

 **iguessimtheirmom:** none of you knew i had arachnophobia?

**beheadedbitch:**.....no?

 **beheadedbitch:** i knew cath was scared of itty bitty bugs but not u

**coffeegivesmelife:** THEY'RE EVIL

**kitkatkittykat:** first it was bananas and now this?

**coffeegivesmelife:** psycho demon bananas*

 **coffeegivesmelife:** and also can u blame jane and i?

**iguessimtheirmom:** i don't like them

 **iguessimtheirmom:** ah i mean we, sorry cath

**coffeegivesmelife:** it's fine (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

 **coffeegivesmelife:** and just to clarify, they're ALL dead right?

**thebetteranne:** they are not dead, i brought them outside

 **thebetteranne:** the spiders fucking messed w my gf but i couldnt bring myself to kill them

**beheadedbitch:** y not?

 **beheadedbitch:** theyll just show up when u least expect them to

**golden:** love, i don't think that's going to help them

**thebetteranne:** theyre in the trees across the street, i can assure u @coffeegivesmelife that they wont come inside

**coffeegivesmelife:** they better fucking not

**kitkatkittykat:** arachnophobia aside, im just glad that it wasnt anything serious and mum is ok

**thebetteranne:** if it was a person theyd be dead

**iguessimtheirmom:** anna!

**thebetteranne:** unconscious*

**golden:** i think it's safe to assume that we'd all protect all three cousins w our lives

**coffeegivesmelife:** rt

**thebetteranne:** rt

**kitkatkittykat:** thx <3

**iguessimtheirmom:** thank you girls!

**beheadedbitch:**.....is it wrong to say not me?

**golden:** Yes.

**beheadedbitch:** ok then

**iguessimtheirmom:** i think i'm going to fall asleep...

**thebetteranne:** well were outta here

 **thebetteranne:** later

**kitkatkittykat:** bye bye!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the record, the picture was a selfie of anna and seymour cuddled on the couch
> 
> **and if y'all have more ideas, pls share!**


	16. halloween but not (like srsly idk wat this is)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the_glare_you_see  
> Halloween chapter except its not Halloween and one of the queens dresses up in a costume bc she feels like it lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know u suggested a "halloween" chap but then it spiralled into a bunch of nonsense and some queens getting into trouble and honestly i don't wanna change so srry if u don't like it @the_glare_you_see
> 
> proof that this is a "crack fic" sorta idk
> 
> idk how it got to this

**beheadedbitch:** [picture attached]

**thebetteranne:** ooohhh someone's looking smokin' hot

**kitkatkittykat:** <3333

**iguessimtheirmom:** but it's not halloween?

**coffeegivesmelife:** who cares? imma go thru my old costumes now.

_golden saved beheadedbitch's image_

**thebetteranne:** pffff aralyn to the max

**golden:** wait i didn't know u would get a notification for that

**beheadedbitch:** awww thx babe ;)

**coffeegivesmelife:** NO WINKY FACES IN THE GROUP CHATSSSSSS

**thebetteranne:** bitch we discussed this

**beheadedbitch:** let me flirt w my gf!!

**golden:** not in the group chat luv

**beheadedbitch:** ok

**thebetteranne:** y her and not us?

**beheadedbitch:** bc

**iguessimtheirmom:** ok so you know how kat and i went to the theatre early?

**coffeegivesmelife:** yea

**kitkatkittykat:** lookie lookie

 **kitkatkittykat:** _[[picture attached]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/084da74b0d5e09e1c60a6c1a5ebd3983/tumblr_poas3ad7rk1rirnnr_540.jpg) _

**thebetteranne:** OMG IS WOLFIE DRESSED UP AS U??

**kitkatkittykat:** YEA!!! (///∇///✿)

 **kitkatkittykat:** thx again mum!

**iguessimtheirmom:** no problem kat!

**beheadedbitch:** wait u made it???

**iguessimtheirmom:** yes?

**thebetteranne:** WAIT CAN U MAKE ONE OF MY COSTUME FOR MAGIC??

**coffeegivesmelife:** THIS NEEDS TO BE DONE!!

**golden:** guys let's not force jane into anything

**iguessimtheirmom:** i can try luv

**thebetteranne:** YES TYSM ILY <3

**iguessimtheirmom:** <3

**kitkatkittykat:** alright but all that aside,,,,

 **kitkatkittykat:** anne, whatre u supposed to be?

**beheadedbitch:** U LITERALLY SENT ME A BUNCH OF HEARTS AFTER I SHARED IT

**kitkatkittykat:** BC U LOOK AMAZING!

 **kitkatkittykat:** but like what aimal r u?

**coffeegivesmelife:** aimal

**thebetteranne:** aimie

**kitkatkittykat:** anna!! :(

**coffeegivesmelife:** bitch u made kitty sad

 **coffeegivesmelife:** (งಠ_ ಠ)ง

**thebetteranne:** whoa put down the fists im srry im srry

**golden:** what's this?

**kitkatkittykat:** sigh

 **kitkatkittykat:** my middle name is aimie

**iguessimtheirmom:** nothing to be ashamed of kat! it's pretty

**kitkatkittykat:** :)

**beheadedbitch:** BACK TO NORMAL

**coffeegivesmelife:** IM THE LAST CRAYON IN THE BOX U SEE

**beheadedbitch:** NO BITCH

**golden:**??

**coffeegivesmelife:** (－‸ლ)

**beheadedbitch:** dont u dare

**coffeegivesmelife:** <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VH8lvZ-Z1g>

**beheadedbitch:** NO

**coffeegivesmelife:** (🌸◔ ω ◔)

**thebetteranne:** wtf?

**kitkatkittykat:** whaa

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm concerned

 **iguessimtheirmom:** what have you two been doing with your free time?

**coffeegivesmelife:** what free time?

**thebetteranne:** actually this doesn't sound like cath

**golden:** catherine parr.

**coffeegivesmelife:** yes?

**golden:** are u drunk?

**coffeegivesmelife:** mayyyybbeeeee

**beheadedbitch:** WHAT?

**thebetteranne:** WITHOUT US??

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm asking vicki to take over for you @coffeegivesmelife

**coffeegivesmelife:** no i can do the show

**iguessimtheirmom:** u will be in no condition to perform

 **iguessimtheirmom:** You are staying home, and that is final!

**thebetteranne:** r u trusting a drunk cath home alone?

**iguessimtheirmom:**....yes?

**beheadedbitch:** some sane person needs to keep an eye on her

 **beheadedbitch:** shes gonna wreck the house

**kitkatkittykat:** lkie u wnot?

**golden:**......

 **golden:** katherine howard?

**kitkatkittykat:** syesesess?

**golden:** are u drunk too?

**kitkatkittykat:** onooooioooooio

**iguessimtheirmom:** KAT UR AT THE THEATRE

 **iguessimtheirmom:** WAIT ACATHD IDU DRIVSE TO SEHT HTEATAER???

**coffeegivesmelife:** yea, y?

**beheadedbitch:** BITCH UR GONNA GET ARRESTED

**thebetteranne:** UR LUCKY U DIDNT GET ARRESTED

**iguessimtheirmom:** @kitkatkittykat @coffeegivesmelife WAHTEA THEA FUCAK WEREER YO U THINKIGN. WE HAVE A. ASHOWE TONIAGHT

**golden:** jane, calm down.

**iguessimtheirmom:** ok, i'm taking deep breaths

 **iguessimtheirmom:** thank you catherine

**golden:** ur welcome

 **golden:** could you get alternates for kat and i as well?

 **golden:** i will watch them

**iguessimtheirmom:** alright, courtney is playing you, and grace will be playing kat

**kitkatkittykat:** I DNOT NDED ON HLEP

**coffeegivesmelife:** kat whered u go?

 **coffeegivesmelife:** we gotta go home onw

 **coffeegivesmelife:** now*

**beheadedbitch:** how is cath texting perfectly while drunk?

**thebetteranne:** its cath can u blame her?

**golden:** u two will not be going anywhere.

 **golden:** you will stay there until i come and pick you up

 **golden:** understood?

****coffeegivesmelife:**** understood....

**kitkatkittykat:** hehse

**beheadedbitch:** @coffeegivesmelife u r not a rebel and u will never be one

**thebetteranne:** ANEN STOP FUELING IT

**beheadedbitch:** im not trying to

 **beheadedbitch:** shes gonna say it anyway

****coffeegivesmelife:**** BITCH I AM A REBEL I CAN DO WHAT I WANT

 ** **coffeegivesmelife:**** KITTY COME ON WERE LEAVING

**kitkatkittykat:** oiek

**iguessimtheirmom:** _[picture attached]_

**thebetteranne:** pfff haha

****coffeegivesmelife:**** wait jane wherere u going u have the show??

**kitkatkittykat:** SQIEURERLS R GONAN TKAE OVRE TEH WLROD

**beheadedbitch:** ioasphgewoi

****coffeegivesmelife:**** kitty were not going into the squirrel debate rn

 ** **coffeegivesmelife:**** BESIDES I THOUGHT WE AGREED THAT THE ELEPHANTS WERE GONNA TAKE OVER THE WORLD

**thebetteranne:** omg i luv this

**golden:** i'm here

**kitkatkittykat:** HELKP WFRER GETITING KIDNPAEPD

**iguessimtheirmom:** why must this happen today?

****coffeegivesmelife:**** bc collete finished learning the musical and we were celebrating

 ** **coffeegivesmelife:**** then i brought some to kitty

**kitkatkittykat:** cAHTY RNU UR NETX

****coffeegivesmelife:**** NO IM COMING TO SAVE U BITCH

**kitkatkittykat:** NO TEH BGI SCRAT HOPPI SIGONAN GTE U

**thebetteranne:** anne: translate drunk kat i cant read that one

**beheadedbitch:** no the big scary hippo is gonna get u

 **beheadedbitch:** HOW IS LINA A HIPPO??

**thebetteranne:** pffff

**iguessimtheirmom:** @golden please tell me you have the two drunk girls

**golden:** yes, plus collete apparently

 **golden:** but why am i a hippo??

**beheadedbitch:** thats what i was wondering

**golden:** i haven't moved the car and they're already yelling at me to go slower

**thebetteranne:** wait who?

**golden:** all three of them

**iguessimtheirmom:** well, i can come home too if you'd like some help

**golden:** thank you but i asoigfhpwae

**beheadedbitch:**???

**golden:** pls come help me

**thebetteranne:** wtf happened?

**golden:** someone chucked a water bottle at my head

**beheadedbitch:** WHO WAS IT >:(

**golden:** i'll be fine, i'd just like jane's help

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'll take cath's car

**thebetteranne:** wait who's filling in for you?

 **thebetteranne:** WAIT WHAT ABOUT WOLFIE DONT LEAVE WOLFIE

**iguessimtheirmom:** uhh jen i think

 **iguessimtheirmom:** and don't worry i have wolfie

**thebetteranne:** thank god

**iguessimtheirmom:** ok i'm right behind catherine, we'll be going now

**beheadedbitch:** ok bye bye

(a few seconds)

**thebetteranne:** so

**beheadedbitch:** yea?

**thebetteranne:** srsly what animal is ur costume?

**beheadedbitch:** OMFG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry


	17. the trip they're jealous of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> insanity_times_ten  
> Idea!!!!  
> Have one of the ships go on a trip (for some “alone time” or whatever idk) and make everyone jealous bc i DEFINITELY did NOT do this to my friends ;) except it was with my family bc i am a single pringle

**beheadedbitch:** _[picture attached]_

**kitkatkittykat:** whats this?

**beheadedbitch:** mums suitcase

 **beheadedbitch:** full of stuff

 **beheadedbitch:** TRAVELLING STUFF

**coffeegivesmelife:** what the--

 **coffeegivesmelife:** @iguessimtheirmom

**golden:** look what i found as well...

 **golden:** _[picture attached]_

**kitkatkittykat:** GASP

 **kitkatkittykat:** @thebetteranne

**thebetteranne:** what?

**kitkatkittykat:** where r u and mum?

**thebetteranne:** shopping?

 **thebetteranne:** i told u this

**beheadedbitch:** but for what?

**thebetteranne:** stuff

**coffeegivesmelife:** SHE'S HIDING SMTHN

**thebetteranne:** IM NOT HIDING ANYTHING

**golden:** then explain the two pictures up above

**thebetteranne:** they wont load

**beheadedbitch:** bullshit

**thebetteranne:** THEY WONT LOAD

**kitkatkittykat:** LIES AND SLANDER

**iguessimtheirmom:** anna where are you?

 **iguessimtheirmom:** and check our private chat please

**beheadedbitch:** GASP

**coffeegivesmelife:** y must she check ur private chat?

 **coffeegivesmelife:** y not ask her here?

**kitkatkittykat:** hmmmm

**golden:** girls, calm down

**beheadedbitch:** arent u curious???

**golden:** i am, but i'm sure that pressing on won't get us the answer to why anna and jane are packing suitcases and not telling us about it

**thebetteranne:**.......thats what the pictures r isnt it?

**golden:** :)

**coffeegivesmelife:** pff now u gotta confess

**kitkatkittykat:** spill bitch

**iguessimtheirmom:** language

**kitkatkittykat:** :( fine

 **kitkatkittykat:** female dog*

**beheadedbitch:** Y R U PACKING AND WHERE TF R U GOING??

**thebetteranne:** FINE 

**thebetteranne:** if u absolutely must know, were going on a trip

**kitkatkittykat:**...a surprise trip for all six of us?

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm sorry kat, it's just anna and i

**beheadedbitch:** WHAT?!?!

**kitkatkittykat:** ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

**coffeegivesmelife:** i can't believed you'd just up and leave us like that! 

**kitkatkittykat:** (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

**golden:** well, i'm not for you two keeping it a secret or for leaving the four of us behind...

 **golden:** but i suppose i'm ok with it

**kitkatkittykat:** WHAA HOW R U OK W IT??

**golden:** bc out of the four of us, these two have gotten the least amount of private time.

**beheadedbitch:**.....

**kitkatkittykat:** ┬─┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

**coffeegivesmelife:** ヾ(_ _。）

**thebetteranne:** THANK YOU

**beheadedbitch:** so THATS y u wouldnt let me come

**iguessimtheirmom:** yes, we didn't want the four of you to be jealous, so we tried to keep it secret

**kitkatkittykat:** not to be rude, but when u tried to hide ur relationship from us we found out way before u told us and bet on it so i mean....

**beheadedbitch:** rt

**coffeegivesmelife:** rt

**iguessimtheirmom:** ok maybe it wasn't the best decision...

**golden:** that aside, when r you leaving?

**coffeegivesmelife:** where're u going?

**iguessimtheirmom:** to be honest, anna set it up but won't tell me where

**thebetteranne:** ;)

**beheadedbitch:** NO WINKY FACES U HIPPOGRIFF

**golden:**....

**coffeegivesmelife:**....do u mean hypocrite?

**beheadedbitch:** r they not the same thing?

**kitkatkittykat:** this is a hippogriff

 **kitkatkittykat:** _[[picture attached]](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/harrypotter/images/a/a6/Hippogrif_FBCFWW.png/revision/latest/top-crop/width/360/height/450?cb=20161202001443) _

**kitkatkittykat:** this is a hypocrite

 **kitkatkittykat:** _[[picture attached]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5897942717bffc479b6d245b/1569982765890-BM9B4DWIQMG3V2NC1FTX/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kIYv-veBL6qAgSs-yXvofZcUqsxRUqqbr1mOJYKfIPR7LoDQ9mXPOjoJoqy81S2I8PaoYXhp6HxIwZIk7-Mi3Tsic-L2IOPH3Dwrhl-Ne3Z2uGeptujbNI_TmU5BV0PgybasxWTuJJ-5OlG7L_g4jlxbTvJybZOtvbWRiFosmN10/six+musical+anne+of+cleves.jpg) _

**thebetteranne:** OK OK IM SORRY

 **thebetteranne:** but anyway @golden we leave tomorrow

**beheadedbitch:** THOIAEFN

**coffeegivesmelife:** what so soon?

**iguessimtheirmom:** well we have been planning this for a while...

**golden:** should i make the announcement and notify the alternates?

**iguessimtheirmom:** just the alternates please

 **iguessimtheirmom:** i'd rather the fans not know

**golden:** ok will do

**iguessimtheirmom:** thank you

**kitkatkittykat:** but y not the queendom?

**thebetteranne:** as much privacy as we can

**kitkatkittykat:** theyre gonna freak

**beheadedbitch:** theyre gonna think u two died or smthn

**coffeegivesmelife:** left the show*

 **coffeegivesmelife:** but yes, the rumors would start

**thebetteranne:** i see

 **thebetteranne:** but i still dont wanna make some big announcement

**iguessimtheirmom:** just tell the fans that we're on vacation if they ask

**kitkatkittykat:** okie doki

**beheadedbitch:** DOKI DOKI

**kitkatkittykat:** NO

**beheadedbitch:** fine

**golden:** i told the alternates, they're sending you off with "be safe"s and such

**iguessimtheirmom:** aww, tell them thanks!

**golden:** vicki also said "don't die"

**thebetteranne:** haha i can assure u we wont

**golden:** and now collete's saying not to have too much sex

 **golden:** ummmm

**coffeegivesmelife:** i can't

**iguessimtheirmom:** maybe don't answer that one

**golden:** wasn't planning to

 **golden:** but this alternates chat is a mess

**beheadedbitch:** and ur saying this chat isnt??

**golden:** no, they're both messes

 **golden:** who even started this chat

**kitkatkittykat:** ME!

 **kitkatkittykat:** and dont forget that anne made the 12 group chat

**golden:** oh right

**coffeegivesmelife:** THAT is the mess

(the next day after jane and anna have left)

_mumsolderchild sent a message to 'we need clevemour content'_

**mumsolderchild:** im still jealoussss

**mumsyoungestchild:** i wonder what theyre doing rn

**annassortofstepgodsister:** probably waiting for the plane?

**annassortofmumfigure:** either that or getting food

 **annassortofmumfigure:** anna always seems to get food before going on a plane

**mumsyoungestchild:** whilst mum tries not to eat too much to avoid getting airsick

**annassortofstepgodsister:** but u could still get airsick if u don't eat anything?

**mumsyoungestchild:** thats wat she told me

**mumsolderchild:** anyway

 **mumsolderchild:** what should we do whiel their gone?

**annassortofstepgodsister:** whiel

**mumsolderchild:** shut up

**annassortofmumfigure:** not burn the house down

**mumsolderchild:**.....

 **mumsolderchild:** @annassortofstepgodsister

**annassortofstepgodsister:** now???

**mumsolderchild:** u asked for a dare

**annassortofstepgodsister:** ughh fine

**mumsyoungestchild:** WAIT R WE DOING IT?

**annassortofmumfigure:** doing what?

**mumsolderchild:** yes

**annassortofstepgodsister:** OMG CHLO ANSWER ME WHOA WAIT UNTIL I TELL U WHAT I HEARD

**annassortofmumfigure:** oh god no

**mumsolderchild:** (id make a starkid reference but were in the middle of smthn rn)

**annassortofstepgodsister:** IT'S TOO FUCKED TO TYPE THIS SHIT IT'S RIGHT CALL BACK! I'LL YELL U EVERY WORD!

**annassortofmumfigure:** oh my god

**mumsolderchild:** Jenna Rolan calling. Ugh, Jenna Rolan calling. Jenna Rolan calling, hey!

**annassortofstepgodsister:** OMG OMG OK SO

**annassortofmumfigure:** @mumsyoungestchild y aren't u saying anything?

**annassortofstepgodsister:** At the end of last night's party 

**mumsyoungestchild:** (its not my turn. im brooke)

**annassortofstepgodsister:** Very end of last night's party

**annassortofmumfigure:** ofc u are but why are you speaking with parentheses?

**annassortofstepgodsister:** Did you see Rich?

**mumsyoungestchild:** (bc if i dont im interrupting the song)

**mumsolderchild:** Oh I saw Rich

**annassortofmumfigure:** just great

(After the song bc i dont wanna type the whole thing but they did do the entire thing)

**annassortofmumfigure:** THANK GOD IT'S OVER

**mumsolderchild:** but hey we killed some time

**mumsyoungestchild:** hey anne was parr-t of the dare to do the entire dance as well?

**mumsolderchild:** ok first, no puns

**mumsyoungestchild:** rude

**mumsolderchild:** second, yes, why?

**annassortofmumfigure:** she just collapsed onto the couch and into kat's lap

**mumsolderchild:** wait lina where r u?

**annassortofmumfigure:** kitchen

**mumsolderchild:** ahh ill be over when i get home :) + ;

**mumsyoungestchild:** cathys asking wth that is

 **mumsyoungestchild:** wait

 **mumsyoungestchild:** nvm

**mumsolderchild:** come on!

 **mumsolderchild:** imma be bored w/o anna

**mumsyoungestchild:** im offended

 **mumsyoungestchild:** and so it cathy

 **mumsyoungestchild:** but shed like to clarify that its not in that way and that we care about u and she doesnt want u to get the wrong idea

**mumsolderchild:** got it thx cath

 **mumsolderchild:** but i mean i had a lot of stuff planned for anna and me

**annassortofmumfigure:** anna and i

**mumsolderchild:** watever

 **mumsolderchild:** and it wont be the same if i do it w someone else

**mumsyoungestchild:** cathy says she gets that

 **mumsyoungestchild:** she also says that when u come back cathy and i r gonna leave for u and catherine

**annassortofmumfigure:** now i'm embarrassed to do it

**mumsolderchild:** hehe thx parrward

**mumsyoungestchild:** :)

**mumsolderchild:** i hope we r provided w good quality clevemour content when they get back

**mumsyoungestchild:** any clevemour content is good quality

 **mumsyoungestchild:** we r in serious lack

**annassortofmumfigure:** agreed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idea time! thank you very much and goodbye


	18. recasting/casting??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh look i found another unfinished chapter in my old google docs that's no longer being used! guess im finishing it now

_slime sent a message to 'we bring ze chaos'_

**slime:** im bored

**tnt:** same

**confetti:** same

**slime:** recasting session?

**confetti:** uhh YEA

**tnt:** one sec

_thebetteranne sent a message to 'craphead is a female dog'_

**thebetteranne:** @beheadedbitch @kitkatkittykat lets get the otehrs involved

**kitkatkittykat:** okie

**beheadedbitch:** great

**coffeegivesmelife:** otehrs

 **coffeegivesmelife:** and should we be concerned

**golden:** it's the chaos trio

 **golden:** ofc we should be

**iguessimtheirmom:** as long as it's not another prank war, we should be fine.

**thebetteranne:** did u hear that? shes fine with anything as long as its not a prank war!

**kitkatkittykat:** GRIND HERE WE COME!

**iguessimtheirmom:** NO DRUGS!

**beheadedbitch:** everything cycles back doesnt it?

 **beheadedbitch:** its not drugs. its better than drugs

**kitkatkittykat:** CUZ ITS FROM JAPAN!

**thebetteranne:** JAPAAAAAAAAN*

**coffeegivesmelife:** guys what were u bout to drag us into?

**beheadedbitch:** im bored so were gonna cast ourselves into a musical

**golden:** but we're already in a musical?

**thebetteranne:** no but we cast ourselves into a dif musical

**kitkatkittykat:** weve done bmc, deh, and six

**iguessimtheirmom:** how did you do six?

**kitkatkittykat:** recasting

 **kitkatkittykat:** basically a queenswap

**golden:** ppl have been pestering me about that

**beheadedbitch:** wait rlly?

**golden:** they want an official show with switched up roles

**coffeegivesmelife:** well if the chaos trio™ already switched it up, might as well

**iguessimtheirmom:** would you mind showing us?

**thebetteranne:** warning: this cast was made to annoy the hell out of everyone and is the role each queen would least like to play

**golden:** what

**thebetteranne:** catherine plays anne

anne plays cath

jane plays kat

me plays jane

kat plays catherine

cath plays anna

**iguessimtheirmom:** anna why would you not want to play my character?

**thebetteranne:** i love you

 **thebetteranne:** but i can not in a million years pretend i like henry

 **thebetteranne:** even in the slightest

**coffeegivesmelife:** this.....

 **coffeegivesmelife:** is accurate??

**thebetteranne:** hey!

**coffeegivesmelife:** srry, but i'd least be able to play u and anne

 **coffeegivesmelife:** and catherine's gonna play anne

**golden:** "gonna" as if we're actually going to do a queenswap

**beheadedbitch:** pleaseeeeeeeeee

 **beheadedbitch:** i wanna see kitkat play uuuuuuuu

**kitkatkittykat:** ha thats gonna be hard

**golden:** no.

**kitkatkittykat:** 人 ´∀｀)

**golden:** No.

**iguessimtheirmom:** why don't we move on?

**thebetteranne:** sure

 **thebetteranne:** @beheadedbitch which musical were u thinking?

**beheadedbitch:** HEATHERS

**coffeegivesmelife:** u haven't done heathers yet??

**beheadedbitch:** shocking, ik

**kitkatkittykat:** heathers it is then :)

**thebetteranne:** id like to start us off by saying as much as kat is the sweetest being alive, i think janey would be martha

**iguessimtheirmom:** wait, i'm sorry i still have trouble with all the names, could someone review?

**golden:** veronica sawyer is the blue one, the main character

heather chandler is the red one, the "mythic bitch"

heather duke is the green one, the "jealous bitch" in the words of anne

heather mcnamara is the yellow one, the "nice bitch" again, in anne's words

jason dean (jd) is the one in black, he's the antagonist

martha is the pink one, veronica's best friend

 **golden:** and before anyone replies, i only remember all of this bc of anne

**iguessimtheirmom:** thank you

**kitkatkittykat:** i would like to add on to annas statement by saying i think that mum would be veronica

**thebetteranne:** wait y?

**kitkatkittykat:** bc shes able to see good in a problematic person

**beheadedbitch:** if that is a diss against jd i will not stand for it he is traumatized

**kitkatkittykat:** AND SO WSAS MONIKA BUT U NEVER LET ME TALK ABOUT IT SO I WONT LET U

**coffeegivesmelife:** guys shouldn't that make u agree?

**beheadedbitch:**...

**kitkatkittykat:**...

**beheadedbitch:** oh yea

 **beheadedbitch:** srry kitkat

**kitkatkittykat:** is ok :3

**golden:** y don't we start with the most obvious one?

 **golden:** henry is jd

**beheadedbitch:** yes tru tru

**thebetteranne:** as much as i think jj would be martha

 **thebetteranne:** this means that jj is veronica

**kitkatkittykat:** oh wait, actually i saw this comment on this one video

**iguessimtheirmom:** what was it?

**kitkatkittykat:** it said that instead of the heathers, its the catherines

**thebetteranne:** omfg YES

**coffeegivesmelife:** by that logic, catherine is chandler and kitty is mac

 **coffeegivesmelife:** leaving me as duke

**golden:** yes, that makes sense

**beheadedbitch:** ur only saying that bc u get to be chandler

**iguessimtheirmom:** doesn't chandler die?

**beheadedbitch:** sadly

**thebetteranne:** WAIT IF JANE IS VERONICA THEN THAT MEANS SHE KILLS CATHERINE?

**iguessimtheirmom:** what??

**coffeegivesmelife:** no jd kills her

**thebetteranne:** and veronica helps him

**iguessimtheirmom:** i don't want to kill catherine

**golden:** thank you

**beheadedbitch:** LETS JUST NOT GO INTO IT

**kitkatkittykat:** yeah lets go into the fact that anne and anna r kurt and ram

**thebetteranne:**...

 **thebetteranne:** WTF??

**beheadedbitch:** kitkat y??

**kitkatkittykat:** i got that from the yt comment

**golden:** i guess it's because ur names are also similar

**thebetteranne:** well yes,,,,

 **thebetteranne:** BUT BLUE

**beheadedbitch:** DEAD GAY SON??

**coffeegivesmelife:** if u were both single and drunk i could see it

**iguessimtheirmom:** cath!

**coffeegivesmelife:** what, i'm contributing?

**kitkatkittykat:** to be fair, i could see it too

**golden:** you two are strange children

**beheadedbitch:** YEA U CALLED LINA A HIPPO

**kitkatkittykat:** OK BUT I WAS DRUNKKKKKK

**thebetteranne:** it wouldnt have come out of ur mouth if u didnt think about it before

**iguessimtheirmom:** don't you mean over text?

**thebetteranne:** yea that

**coffeegivesmelife:** BACK TO THE CASTING!!

 **coffeegivesmelife:** y don't we just do it by colors?

**golden:** what?

**coffeegivesmelife:** i mean, they have assigned colors, and we do too

**beheadedbitch:** u 

**beheadedbitch:** r a genius

**kitkatkittykat:** that makes it easy

**thebetteranne:** agreed, but no

**iguessimtheirmom:** why?

**thebetteranne:** well first, heres the lineup

 **thebetteranne:** chandler-- me

duke-- anne

mac-- catherine

veronica-- cath

martha-- kat

jd-- jane

 **thebetteranne:** NUMBER ONE I WILL NOT SHIP CATH W MY GF!

 **thebetteranne:** NUMBER TWO JANE IS WOULD NEVER KILL ANYONE

 **thebetteranne:** NUMBER THREE JANE BEING JD MEANS SHE WOULD KILL ME

 **thebetteranne:** so yes, it is easy

 **thebetteranne:** but it is so not tru

**golden:** well you've clearly made ur point

**beheadedbitch:** alright but excluding jane as jd

 **beheadedbitch:** id say its accurate

**golden:** u think i'm mcnamara?

**coffeegivesmelife:** ur a chaotic soft just like mcnamara

**golden:** says who?

**beheadedbitch:** me

**kitkatkittykat:** me

**thebetteranne:** me

**iguessimtheirmom:** me

**coffeegivesmelife:** me

 **coffeegivesmelife:** and all the ladies

**golden:** ughh fine

**beheadedbitch:** soooo how r we casting it??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm actually curious how would u guys cast the queens into heathers?


	19. catherine's spanish school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the_glare_you_see and insanity_times_ten  
> Also, if you would like another idea: maybe someone tries to learn a different language?  
> Adding onto this: someone tries to learn Spanish and aragon is gently correcting them until they accidentally make a rude joke or smthn and she just kinda blows up and refuses to check the chat for a day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG GUYS THE FIC JUST PASSED 3000 AND I AM SHOOKETH WHAAAAA??
> 
> also i didn't put translations for some of them i'm sorry

**beheadedbitch:** hi

**kitkatkittykat:** hello

**iguessimtheirmom:** hola

**thebetteranne:** wat the--

**iguessimtheirmom:** ¿Como estan todos?

**beheadedbitch:** wats happening?

**coffeegivesmelife:** yea, that's right, but u forgot the accents on each word

 **coffeegivesmelife:** ¿Cómo están tódos?

**kitkatkittykat:** y is mum speaking spanish?

**coffeegivesmelife:** she wanted to learn, and i offered to help, but my spanish is a little rusty hehe

**golden:** actually cath, there's no accent in 'todos' so the correct sentence would be

 **golden:** ¿Cómo están todos?

**thebetteranne:** meaning.....

**golden:** how's everyone doing?

**coffeegivesmelife:** see, ur much better at spanish than i am

**beheadedbitch:** then y did U start teach mum?

**coffeegivesmelife:** i didn't realize how rusty i am until we started...

**kitkatkittykat:** OOOOH

 **kitkatkittykat:** catherine can u teach all of us spanish?

**golden:** what?

**thebetteranne:** catherine's spanish school

**kitkatkittykat:** plsss?

**beheadedbitch:** pwease?

**golden:** you too anne?

**beheadedbitch:** :D

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'd really appreciate it if you would help catherine

**coffeegivesmelife:** what happened to text in spanish only? @iguessimtheirmom

**iguessimtheirmom:** oh right sorry

 **iguessimtheirmom:** me gustaría appreciate eso si tu would ayuda catalina

**beheadedbitch:** :(

 **beheadedbitch:** listen i know that lina's name is catalina is spanish but only i can call her that

**kitkatkittykat:** also that was a bit mixed

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm still not that good guys, and sorry, i forgot anne

**beheadedbitch:** :)

**thebetteranne:** y r u learning spanish in the first place?

**golden:** i was just about to ask that

**iguessimtheirmom:** my boss asked me to take care of a new co worker

 **iguessimtheirmom:** they haven't come yet, but my boss said that they're not that good at english yet, native spanish speaker

 **iguessimtheirmom:** so i wanted to learn to help them, but turns out i'm not that good

**golden:** no one's good at learning a new language right off the bat

 **golden:** you yourself want to learn spanish to help your new co worker learn english

**coffeegivesmelife:** soooo is that a yes?

**golden:** i guess so?

**beheadedbitch:** ATTEEEEEEEENTION!

 **beheadedbitch:** Catherine's Spanish School is now in session!

**kitkatkittykat:** yes maam!

**thebetteranne:** yes maam!

**golden:** oh boy

**coffeegivesmelife:** this is gonna take a while

**iguessimtheirmom:** thank you for doing this :)

**golden:** ur welcome

 **golden:** so, i guess we'll start with how to introduce yourself?

 **golden:** that sounds like something you'd use, correct @iguessimtheirmom

**iguessimtheirmom:** si, gracias

**coffeegivesmelife:** :)

**golden:** Hola, mi nombre es ______

**kitkatkittykat:** wait but how do u say it??

**golden:** what i uh....

 **golden:** one sec

 **golden:** _[audio attached]_

 **golden:** i guess u guys can save it and replay it if u forget i suppose

**thebetteranne:** ok

**beheadedbitch:** yes maam!

_beheadedbitch saved golden's audio_

_thebetteranne saved golden's audio_

_iguessimtheirmom saved golden's audio_

_coffeegivesmelife saved golden's audio_

_kitkatkittykat saved golden's audio_

**golden:** whoa u guys are actually serious about this?

**thebetteranne:** yes

**golden:** alright then, next thing

 **golden:** jane, what else do you think you'd need

**beheadedbitch:** wait shouldnt we be doing flashcards and shit like that?

**golden:** since jane's learning spanish for conversation specifically, i figure we should start with actual sentences rather than random words she might not need

**coffeegivesmelife:** oh right....

**kitkatkittykat:** thats wat u did wasnt it?

**coffeegivesmelife:** srry jane

**iguessimtheirmom:** it's alright cath

 **iguessimtheirmom:** and @golden could you do greetings or somthing?

**golden:** alright

(time skip bc i don't wanna write most of it but know that it happened heh)

**kitkatkittykat:** hola mi nombre es kat

**golden:** correct

**kitkatkittykat:** cual es tu nombre?

**golden:** accent above the 'a'

**kitkatkittykat:** right, thanks

**iguessimtheirmom:** mi nombre es jane

 **iguessimtheirmom:** help

**coffeegivesmelife:** (Encantado de conocerte)

**iguessimtheirmom:** right, thanks cath

 **iguessimtheirmom:** Encantado de conocerte

**golden:** good

 **golden:** @beheadedbitch @thebetteranne

 **golden:** are you going participate?

**beheadedbitch:** lo siento, me distraje

**golden:** it's fine, and your sentence is correct

 **golden:** @thebetteranne ?

**thebetteranne:** alguien fue jodido con un rizador

**golden:**.....

**thebetteranne:** what?

 **thebetteranne:** ¿dije algo malo?

_golden left the group chat_

**beheadedbitch:** bitch what did u say???

**thebetteranne:** uhhh

_thebetteranne added golden to 'craphead is a female dog'_

_golden left the group chat_

**kitkatkittykat:** uhh what does this mean??

**coffeegivesmelife:** it means u said smthn rlly bad

**iguessimtheirmom:** what did u say??

_thebetteranne added golden to 'craphead is a female dog'_

**thebetteranne:** I DONT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS I HEARD MY CO WORKERS JOKE ABOUT IT THEN LAUGH

(a few seconds as catherine thinks about it)

_golden left the group chat_

**kitkatkittykat:** this is a problem

**thebetteranne:** uhh ya think??

**iguessimtheirmom:** cath can you make out any of the words in what anna said?

**coffeegivesmelife:** uhh wait can u type it out again?

**thebetteranne:** alguien fue jodido con un rizador

**coffeegivesmelife:** um i got the words "fucked" and i think there's "curling iron" in it??

**beheadedbitch:** thats ummmm

 **beheadedbitch:** an interesting choice of words

**thebetteranne:** IDK WAT I WAS SAYING I HEARD MY COWORKERS SAY IT

_thebetteranne added golden to 'craphead is a female dog'_

_golden left the group chat_

_thebetteranne added golden to 'craphead is a female dog'_

**thebetteranne:** IM SRRY I DIDNT MEAN ITTTT

_golden left the group chat_

**beheadedbitch:** ok anna at this point, lets just wait a day and then try and talk to her

**thebetteranne:** WAIT

_thebetteranne added golden to 'craphead is a female dog'_

_golden left the group chat_

**kitkatkittykat:** i dont think its gonna work anna

**coffeegivesmelife:** i'd trust anne w this one

_thebetteranne added golden to 'craphead is a female dog'_

_golden left the group chat_

**iguessimtheirmom:** anna love, calm down

 **iguessimtheirmom:** you're probably annoying her more

**thebetteranne:** AGHBLFKJIOWFH

 **thebetteranne:** i fucked up

 **thebetteranne:** and this was supposed to help u im srry

**iguessimtheirmom:** it's alright, learning became much easier when you all joined

**thebetteranne:** rlly?

**iguessimtheirmom:** yes, anna

 **iguessimtheirmom:** just, maybe don't say that phrase again

**thebetteranne:** ok

**kitkatkittykat:**......CLEVEMOUR CONTENT!!

(magical time skip yay)

_thebetteranne added golden to 'craphead is a female dog'_

**thebetteranne:** im srry

**golden:** you know that if you have no idea what it means, you shouldn't be saying it

**thebetteranne:** i understand now, im srry

**golden:** stop apologizing

 **golden:** just never say that ever again

**thebetteranne:** ok, i already promised jane too

**golden:** good

**beheadedbitch:** one question

**kitkatkittykat:** anne dont do it

**beheadedbitch:** y not?

**iguessimtheirmom:** not sure its a good idea

**beheadedbitch:** watever

 **beheadedbitch:** so basically @coffeegivesmelife said that the phrase included the words "fucked" and "curling iron"

**coffeegivesmelife:** i'd like to point out that i am NOT sure and have NO affiliation to anne's following question

**golden:** alright

**beheadedbitch:** so wat does it mean??

**kitkatkittykat:** and there we go

**thebetteranne:** im scared

**golden:** sigh

 **golden:** it means "someone got fucked with a curling iron"

**beheadedbitch:** sohgoighwieh

**coffeegivesmelife:** i-

 **coffeegivesmelife:** i am shooketh

**iguessimtheirmom:** that's an um...

 **iguessimtheirmom:** interesting phrase

**thebetteranne:** now im concerned for my coworkers

**kitkatkittykat:** agree to never speak of this phrase

**beheadedbitch:** since it made lina mad, agree

**golden:** you'd better not anne

**beheadedbitch:** I WONT I WONT

**golden:** now you understand @thebetteranne ?

**thebetteranne:** yes

 **thebetteranne:** lesson learned

**golden:** good then, class dismissed 

**coffeegivesmelife:** wasn't it dismissed when u left the chat?

**golden:** Dismissed.

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ALL SPANISH USED IN THIS CHAPTER IS FROM GOOGLE TRANSLATE** so if it sucks, i'm sorry (just note some spanish is incorrect on purpose)


	20. someone help anne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CinderSpots  
> I dunno, someone's mean to Anne and the chat flips out about it. And Annes locked herself in her room. Catherine is aaaaaannnnggggggrrrrrrryyyyyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw as this chapter is a focus on anne's depression
> 
> you've been warned

_magswguitarbags sent a message to 'and then there were 12'_

**magswguitarbags:** [picture attached]

 **magswguitarbags:** guys get a load of anne the bitch

**beheadedbitch:** maggie, i asked u not to show them!

**coffeegivesmelife:** uhh what is this?

**beheadedbitch:** just some stupid ass pic that maggie photoshopped

**bbbbessssiieeee:** uhh wat is this?

**beheadedbitch:** I LITERALLY-

**magswguitarbags:** the best and most tru thing u will ever see

**iguessimtheirmom:** i don't know maggie...

**magswguitarbags:** wdym u dont know?

 **magswguitarbags:** anne is a bitchy dumb slut is she not?

**maudthemom:** maggie!

**kitkatkittykat:** maggie, thats rlly mean

**magswguitarbags:** its not mean

 **magswguitarbags:** we do this all the time

**mariavonthedrums:** do or DID

**magswguitarbags:** well does it matter if its tru?

**thebetteranne:** its not

**magswguitarbags:** dude she literally spelled orange wrong

**rockyroad:** we were watching mean girls, maggie

**magswguitarbags:** she seduced henry into marrying her

**makesomeloveforjoan:** maggie u know very well just as much as we do that she was forced into a lot of her actions

**magswguitarbags:** well she isnt called anne of a thousand days for being a good person

**beheadedbitch:** maggie...

**magswguitarbags:** come on, i cant be the only one who thinks shes a bitch

 **magswguitarbags:** even just part bitch

 **magswguitarbags:** its even in her user

**makesomeloveforjoan:** where is all of this coming from?

**magswguitarbags:** and dont even get me started on her hideous neck scar

**kitkatkittykat:** EXCUSE ME

**rockyroad:** STONE COLD BITCH

**magswguitarbags:** aww come on rocky!

 **magswguitarbags:** ANNES THE REAL BITCH HERE

**golden:** She has her faults, but she is NOT a bitch.

**magswguitarbags:** maybe she shouldve just stayed dead

**beheadedbitch:**.

**mariavonthedrums:** uhh maggie don't you think that's a BIT far?

**magswguitarbags:** not like she deserved a second chance

**beheadedbitch:**.

**magswguitarbags:** whats the bitch's deal?

_beheadedbitch left the group chat_

_magswguitarbags added beheadedbitch to 'and then there were 12'_

**magswguitarbags:** ur so sensitive

 **magswguitarbags:** u rlly shouldve stayed dead

**coffeegivesmelife:** BITCH THAT IS ENOUGH

**thebetteranne:** U HAVE NO IDEA WAT SHES GOING THRU

**beheadedbitch:** guys its fine

 **beheadedbitch:** shes right

**kitkatkittykat:** NO ANNE SHES WRONG!!

**beheadedbitch:** i dont deserve to live

**iguessimtheirmom:** MAGGJIE WATH TEH FKCU WEER YUO THKING WY H WOUDL UOY THKNI THSI I SA GODO IDAE???

**magswguitarbags:** its not a big deal we used to joke like this all the time

**kitkatkittykat:** guys i tried messaging her privately and shes not answering!!

**bbbbessssiieeee:** maybe shes just not looking at her phone

**kitkatkittykat:** no, thatd be worse

 **kitkatkittykat:** shes leaving me on read

**thebetteranne** **:** ok good, shes still active

**coffeegivesmelife:** DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE SHE IS??

**iguessimtheirmom:** ok she's in her room but she's locked the door

**maudthemom:** queens, i'm sure it's not my place to ask

 **maudthemom:** but what's going on?

**coffeegivesmelife:** long story

**thebetteranne:** not our place to tell

**kitkatkittykat:** MUM CAN U KNOCK DOWN HER DOOR SHE STOPPED LEAVING ME ON READ HELPPPP

**iguessimtheirmom:** she's yelling at me to go away

 **iguessimtheirmom:** is that good or abd????

**coffeegivesmelife:** IDEK IT'S ANNE

**thebetteranne:** MAGGIE WTF IS UR DEAL??

 **thebetteranne:** THIS IS UR FAULT

**magswguitarbags:** how is it MY fault?!

 **magswguitarbags:** nmf shes so fucking sensitive

**rockyroad:** maggie theyre already pissed off enough

**makesomeloveforjoan:** it's time to stop

**magswguitarbags:** i just dont see y its such a big fucking deal?

**golden:** Not a big fucking deal huh?

 **golden:** If that's true then tell me why Anne's curled up on her bed in a locked room, wrapped in her blankets, crying and spiraling about how fucked up she is and how she should kill herself now because she just doesn't matter.

 **golden:** Tell me why that isn't such a big fucking deal?

 **golden:** Because let me tell you something Margaret. Every single one of her thoughts and feelings are real.

 **golden:** Her emotions are valid, whether you decide to fuck with them and say they aren't, or not.

 **golden:** You say that Anne is a bitch, but if anyone is a real bitch, it's you for not thinking before saying those extremely inconsiderate things, no matter the intention.

 **golden:** Perhaps next time you ought to use that thing called a brain before rambling on and pushing someone's buttons.

 **golden:** Anne made it very clear to you that she was not comfortable with your previous actions, yet you continued to talk about it.

 **golden:** It was a shitty thing to do, and now Anne is paying the price.

**magswguitarbags:** arent u overreacting a bit?

**coffeegivesmelife:** BITCH 

**thebetteranne:** YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT

**iguessimtheirmom:** Girls, let Catherine handle this.

 **iguessimtheirmom:** Insulting Maggie will not the situation any better.

**golden:** I am not overreacting. And if I am, I have a very good reason to be.

 **golden:** Excuse me while I ask for Anne's permission to continue sharing.

 **golden:** Unlike someone who didn't, and brought us to this point.

**kitkatkittykat:** wait mum so this means anne let catherine in right?

**iguessimtheirmom:** yes kat, you can calm down now

 **iguessimtheirmom:** you too cath and anna

**coffeegivesmelife:** alright

**thebetteranne:** ok

**mariavonthedrums:** @golden r we still allowed to be here?

**golden:** yes, the rest of you ladies are fine

 **golden:** i just got annes permission so i will be continuing now

**bbbbessssiieeee:** wait u sure it's fine?

**golden:** she would like the rest of you to know

 **golden:** to prevent this from happening in the future

**maudthemom:** if she says it's fine, then we'll listen carefully

 **maudthemom:** mostly maggie i hope

**golden:** A while ago, Anne had gone through a very hard time.

 **golden:** She became distant, though this was mostly seen at our house more than at the theatre.

 **golden:** She had been hearing voices and sadly, she believed them up to the point that she couldn't take anymore.

 **golden:** Anne was very much prepared to die, having written suicide letters and everything.

 **golden:** If I hadn't had the gut feeling that something was wrong, and if I hadn't reached Anne in time, she would've killed herself.

 **golden:** That moment still haunts me to this day. The entire experience haunts all of us, actually. Anne's depression is still something we are all learning how to deal with.

 **golden:** If you want proof, here is your proof.

 **golden:** [picture attached]

 **golden:** I kept this to remind myself of what happened. And how far Anne has come from that day. How strong she is for fighting against her inner voices and depression.

 **golden:** What you had started insulting her with was bad.

 **golden:** But telling Anne that she doesn't deserve to be alive is exactly the kind of thing that she's being trying to avoid. To fight against.

 **golden:** In fact, it should just be common sense to not tell someone to go kill themselves.

 **golden:** Clearly this isn't the case.

 **golden:** But what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't have done what you did.

 **golden:** However the damage has been done.

 **golden:** So what I will say is that you shouldn't do it again.

 **golden:** It's extremely disrespectful, and just flat out rude. Especially to Anne and others with depression or something of the sort.

 **golden:** Anne isn't capable of responding to the group chat herself, but she'd like to tell you that it really hurt to hear the words come from someone else, and not just her own mind.

**magswguitarbags:** i um-

 **magswguitarbags:** shit

**makesomeloveforjoan:** catherine is anne reading this?

**golden:** yes, she is

**makesomeloveforjoan:** ok

 **makesomeloveforjoan:** On behalf of all the ladies, Anne, we all care about you deeply. I hope I can speak for all of us when I say we understand why you hadn't told us originally.

 **makesomeloveforjoan:** But now that we do know, I'm sure we all would like to be by your side and help you through this.

**golden:** thx joan -anne

**magswguitarbags:** uhh anne?

 **magswguitarbags:** now that I know ur reading this um...

 **magswguitarbags:** shit

 **magswguitarbags:** Listen, I'm really sorry.

 **magswguitarbags:** Now I understand that I pushed your buttons a bit too far.

 **magswguitarbags:** Who am I kidding I pushed them really far.

 **magswguitarbags:** And uh I guess my intention was to just joke around like we did in the old days?

 **magswguitarbags:** But yea, I understand that those times are different.

 **magswguitarbags:** You're truly a different person and a changed one for the better.

 **magswguitarbags:** I am really really really sorry for the way I acted.

 **magswguitarbags:** It wasn't right, I fucked up.

 **magswguitarbags:** And it won't happen again.

 **magswguitarbags:** Or I'll try my best.

**beheadedbitch:** And I don't expect you to be perfect.

 **beheadedbitch:** The other queens have known for a lot longer and they still mess up sometimes.

 **beheadedbitch:** And usually when that happens, I mostly just need some cuddles and reassurance.

 **beheadedbitch:** But I'm still extremely sensitive to the depression jokes and suicide jokes.

 **beheadedbitch:** So if everyone could avoid that it'd really help a lot.

**mariavonthedrums:** ok

**makesomeloveforjoan:** ofc

**bbbbessssiieeee:** got it

**rockyroad:** sounds good

**maudthemom:** i'll remember that

**magswguitarbags:** i will avoid them at all costs

 **magswguitarbags:** and anne?

**beheadedbitch:** yea?

**magswguitarbags:** r we good now?

 **magswguitarbags:** im rlly srry

**beheadedbitch:** yea were good

 **beheadedbitch:** just....stop apologizing pls

 **beheadedbitch:** and ill be better in a bit

**magswguitarbags:** alright

 **magswguitarbags:** thank you

**beheadedbitch:** ur welcome

**iguessimtheirmom:** on behalf of all the queens, thank you ladies for understanding

**kitkatkittykat:** well not rlly understanding, but for listening and offering to help

**thebetteranne:** it is much appreciated

**coffeegivesmelife:** just make sure this information isn't spread over the media

 **coffeegivesmelife:** im sure anne wouldn't like that

**mariavonthedrums:** we won't

 **mariavonthedrums:** and you're welcome

**bbbbessssiieeee:** for the record anne,

**maudthemom:** we love you

**beheadedbitch:** love you all too queens and ladies

 **beheadedbitch:** imma go now

**rockyroad:** see u later anne

**golden:** anne is about to fall asleep but she started typing out "cya" on her phone

**makesomeloveforjoan:** we'll see you later guys

 **makesomeloveforjoan:** bye queens!

**kitkatkittykat:** bye ladies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright. ok. so.
> 
> for the purposes of "i don't wanna have two fics going at the same time" and "i should probably work on other fics now" i will be writing one final chapter after this (bc it'd be bad to make this the last chap)
> 
> i'm sorry, i just feel like i need to work on actual writing now instead of the gc fic
> 
> i might update every once in a while if i get writers block or smthn but, other than that, this fic is coming to its end
> 
> again, i'm sorry please don't hate me


	21. uhhhhh SeE iF u cAN gUEsS whAt'S hAPpEniNg??? idk just read the darn chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'tis the last chapter i am planning on writing. may have some other chaps in the future but this is the final chapter for rn
> 
> im sorry don't hate me i just hate having two fics at once and i wanna work on other things :v
> 
> (also the lines mean it's a diff conversation, time skip undetermined, whatever makes sense for ya)

_annel sent a private message to mum_

**annel:** to be young and in love in new york city

**mum:** what?

 **mum:** anne we don't live in the u.s.

**annel:** to not know who i am but still know that im good long as ur here w me

**mum:** you're anne boleyn, and i'd gladly spend time with you

 **mum:** any of us will

**annel:** to be drunk and in love in new york city

**mum:** anne are you drunk????

 **mum:** i really hope you aren't, especially after what happened with collete, kat, and cath

**annel:** midnight into morning coffee

**mum:** anne we don't let you drink coffee anymore

**annel:** burning through the hours talking

**mum:** i'm not so sure you could spend hours doing anything

 **mum:** on one single thing that is

**annel:** damn, i like me better when im w u

**mum:** i like spending time with you too!

**annel:** i like me better when im w u

**mum:** you just said that, are you alright?

**annel:** i knew from the first time

**mum:** knew that you are or aren't alright?

 **mum:** either way, it is perfectly fine, anne

**annel:** id stay for a long time cuz

**mum:** anne are you ok?

**annel:** i like me better when

**mum:** anne why do you keep repeating yourself?

**annel:** i like me better when im w u

**mum:** anne are you alright??

(a moment)

**annel:** aghh i can't continue

**mum:** what do you mean?

**annel:** have u ever heard of lyric pranking?

**mum:**....no, what's that?

**annel:** o my-

 **annel:** i was texting u song lyrics

**mum:** you were what?

**annel:** i was texting u the lyrics to i like me better by lauv

**mum:** oh.....

**annel:** r u mad?

**mum:** no, i just get it now

 **mum:** tho i did get a little worried, so maybe don't do this prank with me again?

**annel:** ok mum

* * *

_micdrop sent a private message to hoohoohoohoo_

**micdrop:** mama said

**hoohoohoohoo:** wat?

**micdrop:** fufill the prophecy

**hoohoohoohoo:** fulfill* lol

**micdrop:** be smthn greater

**hoohoohoohoo:** wait r u referring to jane or ur actual mum?

**micdrop:** go make a legacy

**hoohoohoohoo:** dude im pretty sure weve already made a legacy

**micdrop:** manifest destiny

**hoohoohoohoo:** wat?

**micdrop:** back in the days

**hoohoohoohoo:** omg

**micdrop:** we wanted evrythn

**hoohoohoohoo:** dude

**micdrop:** wanted evrythn

**hoohoohoohoo:** now im out here looking like revenge

**micdrop:** mama said

**hoohoohoohoo:** feelin like a 10

**micdrop:** wait dude whatre u saying?

**hoohoohoohoo:** the best i ever been

**micdrop:** r u ok?

**hoohoohoohoo:** and yeah, i know how bad it must hurt

**micdrop:** it was just a lyric prank

 **micdrop:** we watch them all the time?

 **micdrop:** whore u talking bout?

**hoohoohoohoo:** to see me like this but it gets worse

**micdrop:** i just realized my previous text looks rlly bad

 **micdrop:** i mean who're

 **micdrop:** but dude srsly r u ok?

**hoohoohoohoo:** now ur out here looking like regret

**micdrop:** me or someone else?

 **micdrop:** do i need to get the others?

 **micdrop:** i swear we will fight

**hoohoohoohoo:** dudeeee im wheezing so hard

 **hoohoohoohoo:** i cant continue

**micdrop:** wdyfm?

**hoohoohoohoo:** sorry not sorry- demi lovato

**micdrop:**....

 **micdrop:** U LITTLE BITCH

**hoohoohoohoo:** HAHAHAAH

**micdrop:** did u just lyric prank me back????

**hoohoohoohoo:** yea lol

 **hoohoohoohoo:** and u believed it

**micdrop:** damn

**hoohoohoohoo:** i cant believe how well it worked

**micdrop:** very funny

**hoohoohoohoo:** it WAS

**micdrop:** ur lucky

**hoohoohoohoo:** ohohoho

 **hoohoohoohoo:** so whos next?

**micdrop:** cath

**hoohoohoohoo:** oooof

**micdrop:** gotta do it to everyone right?

**hoohoohoohoo:** lol yup

* * *

_anne sent a private message to cath_

**anne:** everybody gets high sometimes, u know

**cath:** if this is another grind reference i won't have it

 **cath:** not until u explain

**anne:** what else can we do when we'e feeling low?

**cath:**......do u need someone?

**anne:** so take a deep breath and let it go

**cath:** anne srsly r u ok?

**anne:** u shouldnt be drowning on your own

**cath:** uhh i can swim, catherine's the one who can't

 **cath:** wait shit don't tell her i told u that

**anne:** and if u feel ur sinking, i will jump right over

**cath:** uhh thx?

**anne:** into cold cold water for u

**cath:** is this a metaphor or smthn?

**anne:** and although time may take us into different places

**cath:** like that's gonna happen

 **cath:** i'm pretty sure the universe will find a way to get us all back together again

**anne:** i will still be patient with u

**cath:** that's smthn i'd like to see

**anne:** and i hope u know

**cath:** know what?

 **cath:** that this is a lyric prank?

**anne:** wtf???

 **anne:** u knew??

**cath:** cold water just came up on my playlist

 **cath:** that's when i realized it

**anne:** aww come on!!

**cath:** for the record anne, i wouldn't have known if i hadn't heard the song

 **cath:** so consider it a win

**anne:** its not a win unless i fool u so much and im laughing so hard i cant continue so i reveal the prank myself

 **anne:** consider this a lucky coincidence

**cath:** ooooookay

 **cath:** whatever u say

**anne:** coolsies

**cath:** alright u never say that

**anne:** idk

 **anne:** jsut felt like it

**cath:** jsut

**anne:** shut up heather

**cath:** bitch i am heather duke u can't touch me

**anne:** i wouldnt want to

**cath:** okayyyy

 **cath:** imma go work now

**anne:** dont work too hard

**cath:** no promises

* * *

_annie sent a private message to kitkat_

**annie:** waiting for the time to pass u by

**kitkat:** ru bored?

**annie:** hope the winds of change will change ur mind

**kitkat:** if ur writing poetry, im rlly bad at interpreting this stuff

**annie:** i could give a thousand reasons why

**kitkat:** wait r u planning smthn?

**annie:** and i know u, and uve got to

**kitkat:** got to what?

 **kitkat:** r u planning another beheaded cousins scheme? ( ¬ ‿¬)

**annie:** make it on ur own, but we dont have to grow up

**kitkat:** im gonna be honest i dont think either of us could make it on our own

 **kitkat:** and also u were literally cheering me on when we went to the club for my 21 bday

**annie:** we can stay forever young

**kitkat:** ha yea our minds r never gonna grow up

**annie:** living on my sofa, drinking rum and cola

**kitkat:** dont u live in ur room?

 **kitkat:** wait scratch that, catherines room?

**annie:** underneath the rising sun

**kitkat:** u just said u were living on ur sofa lol

 **kitkat:** y would the sofa be outside?

**annie:** i could give a thousand reasons why

**kitkat:** u already said that?

 **kitkat:** EXPLAINNNN

**annie:** but ur going, and u know that

**kitkat:** um im not going anywhere?

 **kitkat:** im literally downstairs w cathy

**annie:** all u have to do is stay a minute

**kitkat:** did u not see? im still in the house

**annie:** just take ur time

**kitkat:** doing wat?

 **kitkat:** just come down and talk

**annie:** the clock is ticking

**kitkat:** did u set up a prank in the living room???

**annie:** so stay

**kitkat:** annie answer meeeee

**annie:** all u have to do is wait a second

**kitkat:** how much longer until it activates???

**annie:** ur hands on mine

**kitkat:** wait r u coming down?

**annie:** the clock is ticking, so stay

**kitkat:** is there a prank set up or not???

**annie:** all u have to do is

**kitkat:** did u click send too early lol?

**annie:** all u have to do is stay

**kitkat:** stop being so vagueeee

 **kitkat:** and u keep repeating urself

**annie:** wont admit what i already know

**kitkat:** BITCH ANSWERRRRR

**annie:** ive never been the best at letting go

**kitkat:** wait is it just me or did it get dark?

 **kitkat:** r u ok???

**annie:** i dont wanna spend the night alone

**kitkat:** DID U HAVE A NIGHTMARE??!

**annie:** guess i need u, and i need to

**kitkat:** NEED TO WAT??

 **kitkat:** R U OKAY??????????

**annie:** IM SRRY KITKAT IM FINE!!

**kitkat:** then y were u saying those things?? ಠ_ಠ

**annie:** uhh

 **annie:** stay- zedd, alessia cara

**kitkat:**.....

 **kitkat:** BOI

**annie:** it was funny up until u started panicking

**kitkat:** it wouldve been fine if u stopped before the second verse

**annie:** realize that now....

**kitkat:** other than that....

 **kitkat:** (－‸ლ)

**annie:** is that for me or for u?

**kitkat:** its for me

 **kitkat:** HOW HAVE WE NOT DONE THIS BEFORE?

**annie:** anna and i watch these yt vids

 **annie:** it was kinda an old trend but i thought itd be funny

 **annie:** i just had to find the songs

**kitkat:** songS?

 **kitkat:** who else have u done??

**annie** **:** just lina is left

**kitkat:** so u did almost everyone else first?? :(

**annie:** i wanted to get mum out of the way, then lighten the mood w anna

 **annie:** cath couldve gone either way, so i had u after just in case hers was like mums

**kitkat:** and lina is last

**annie:** yup

**kitkat:** wat song u using?

**annie:** im sure shell talk about it during dinner lol

**kitkat:** ughh now i gotta wait??

**annie:** haha u never know

 **annie:** gonna go do her now

**kitkat:** ANNE NO FUCKING WHILE THE OTHERS R HERE

**annie:** NOT LIKE THAT KAT

**kitkat:** hehe (>ω◕)

**annie:** ok bye

**kitkat:** okie bye bye

* * *

_bo sent a private message to lina_

**bo:** u got a bad reputation in my neighborhood

**lina:** love we live in the same neighborhood

 **lina:** i think i'd know if i had ANY reputation

**bo:** u drive me mad with temptation cuz it tastes so good

**lina:**.....do you want something?

**bo:** u know i wouldnt walk away even if i could

**lina:** ofc you wouldn't, i wouldn't walk away either

**bo:** it took one night, one try

**lina:** im pretty sure you didn't fall in love with me at first sight, but thx

**bo:** damn im hooked

**lina:** i already know that ;)

**bo:** u were there when i was low, u held me high

**lina:** ofc anne, i'd do anything for you

 **lina:** well, almost anything

**bo:** and baby when u take control, we can go all night

**lina:** anne are you suggesting somthing?

**bo:** every single place we go u start a fight

**lina:** i only start fights if someone starts picking on one of you

 **lina:** especially my bo

**bo:** but then u kiss my neck, and take a bite

**lina:** don't tell me you're horny because the queens are going to be home for the rest of the day

**bo:** everybody says im sleeping with the enemy

**lina:** do they?

 **lina:** i didn't think i was that intimidating

**bo:** i dont even care if ur gonna be the death of me

**lina:** no, i probably won't

 **lina:** or will i?

**bo:** u got a bad reputation in my neighborhood

**lina:** you already said that?

**bo:** u drive me mad with temptation cuz it tastes so good

**lina:** are your messages being delayed?

**bo:** u know i wouldnt walk away, even if i could

**lina:** this is why i keep telling you to use the wifi instead of being impatient

**bo:** it took one night, one try

 **bo:** damn, im hooked

**lina:** is your phone done sending the delayed messages now?

**bo:** i know that i shouldnt touch but u twist my heart

**lina:** wdym you shouldn't touch me?

 **lina:** you have every right to, we're dating

**bo:** cuz i can never get enough once the feeling starts

**lina:** are you actually horny?

**bo:** baby im the gasoline and ur kiss is the spark

**lina:** what's with the poetry?

**bo:** but u take the wheel and crash my car

**lina:** that's an um.....interesting metaphor?

**bo:** everybody says im sleeping with the enemy

**lina:** are these delayed messages again?

**bo:** i dont even care if ur gonna be the death of me

**lina:** alright, something's up

**bo:** uve got a bad reputation in my neighborhood

**lina:** there's no way that u sent that message three times and they're just now sending

**bo:** u drive me mad with temptation cuz it tastes so good

**lina:** anne?

**bo:** have you heard of lyric pranking?

**lina:** i heard it was an old trend

 **lina:**.....why?

**bo:** hooked- why don't we

**lina:** what's that?

**bo:** wdym?

**lina:** wait is that the song you used?

**bo:**..yea?

**lina:** i've never heard of that song

**bo:** oh come on!

 **bo:** well to be fair, it was released 2017 or 18

 **bo:** but like still u should listen to it

**lina:** if i feel like it

**bo:** yay!

 **bo:**...

**lina:** don't tell me

**bo:** plsss?

**lina:** i told you the others are going to be home for the rest of the day

 **lina:** you don't want to get caught, do you?

**bo:** ill be quiet

 **bo:** pls?

**lina:**.....are you sure?

**bo:** yes

**lina:** i'll think about it

 **lina:** but anne?

**bo:** yea?

**lina:** i don't understand this prank

* * *

_beheadedbitch sent a message to 'craphead is a female dog'_

**beheadedbitch:** take a seat

**thebetteranne:** what the hell?

**kitkatkittykat:** uhh where?

**beheadedbitch:** right over there, sat on the stairs

**iguessimtheirmom:** you want us to sit on the stairs?

**coffeegivesmelife:** y should we?

**beheadedbitch:** stay or leave

**golden:** you're not answering us

**beheadedbitch:** the cabinets are bare and im unaware

**kitkatkittykat:** unaware of what?

**coffeegivesmelife:** i'm so confused

**iguessimtheirmom:** you and me both cath

**thebetteranne:** i think we all are

**golden:** agreed

**beheadedbitch:** of just how we got into this mess, got so aggressive

**iguessimtheirmom:** @kitkatkittykat @thebetteranne are you covering for her?

**golden:** you didn't get into a fight did you?

**kitkatkittykat:** no we didn't i swear!!

**thebetteranne:** we're not conspiring against you

**coffeegivesmelife:** mhm

**beheadedbitch:** i know we meant all good intentions

**coffeegivesmelife:** then why else would anne say we?

**thebetteranne:** she might be referring to all of us

**iguessimtheirmom:** we haven't done anything though?

**beheadedbitch:** so pull me closer

**kitkatkittykat:** i cant, u told me to go sit on the stairs

**golden:** you're actually sitting on the stairs?

**coffeegivesmelife:** she has a witness

**iguessimtheirmom:** did she make you sit next to her?

**coffeegivesmelife:**...yes

**thebetteranne:** HAHAHAHA

**beheadedbitch:** y dont u pull me close?

**coffeegivesmelife:** well, kitty and i r on the stairs u ask the others

**thebetteranne:** im busy

**golden:** busy texting us?

**thebetteranne:** no im doing stuff

**beheadedbitch:** y dont u come on over?

**kitkatkittykat:** do u want us to get off the stairs?

**iguessimtheirmom:** i can come over if you'd like anne

**golden:** i'm confused, i'm already here but she locked the door

**coffeegivesmelife:** confusion

**beheadedbitch:** i cant just let u go

**thebetteranne:** then yd u lock ur door bitch?

**beheadedbitch:** oh baby

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm assuming that's directed towards you @golden

**golden:** idek

**beheadedbitch:** y dont u just meet me in the middle?

**thebetteranne:** so u want us to meet in between the stairs and ur door?

**kitkatkittykat:** r u gonna go?

**golden:** can confirm, she's standing in the middle of the hallway

**iguessimtheirmom:** you're still outside anne's room?

**golden:** just in case

**coffeegivesmelife:** oh wat a day

**beheadedbitch:** im losing my mind just a little

**kitkatkittykat:** not in a bad way right?

**beheadedbitch:** so y dont u just meet me in the middle?

**thebetteranne:** ok so im right

**iguessimtheirmom:** yeah, i don't think i'm going to move

**kitkatkittykat:** im gonna keep sitting here until anne specifically tells us to move

**coffeegivesmelife:** just great

**beheadedbitch:** in the middle

**golden:** i think this is an indication that we need to be in the middle

**iguessimtheirmom:** no thanks

**thebetteranne:** love, r u ok?

**iguessimtheirmom:** female pain

**kitkatkittykat:** woiengweiovn

**coffeegivesmelife:** oof

**thebetteranne:** y didnt u tell me? im coming over

 **thebetteranne:** everyone else head to the middle

**beheadedbitch:** take a step

**golden:** take a step where?

**beheadedbitch:** back for a minute, into the kitchen

**kitkatkittykat:** im confused, u want us in the kitchen now???

**thebetteranne:** well im in the kitchen

**coffeegivesmelife:** i thought u were going to jane?

**iguessimtheirmom:** i asked her to get some stuff

**beheadedbitch:** floors are wet

**thebetteranne:** the floors arent wet tho

**beheadedbitch:** and taps r still running, dishes are broken

**kitkatkittykat:**....

 **kitkatkittykat:** OMFG

**golden:** what?

**kitkatkittykat:** @beheadedbitch U JUST HAD TO DO THE GC AS WELL HUH?

**iguessimtheirmom:** wait, wdym kat?

**kitkatkittykat:** the middle- zedd, grey, maren morris

**beheadedbitch:** AW COME ON!

**coffeegivesmelife:** oh my god

**thebetteranne:** srsly anne?

**beheadedbitch:** im surprised none of u saw it coming

**golden:** i still don't understand this prank

**beheadedbitch:** dont tell me u dont know this song also

**kitkatkittykat:** what??

**thebetteranne:** how do u not know this song??

**iguessimtheirmom:** not to get involved, but even i know this song

**golden:** no, i know it, just don't understand the prank

**beheadedbitch:** u dont have to understand it

 **beheadedbitch:** this was hilarious nonetheless

 **beheadedbitch:** y in the world would i ask u guys to stand in between the stairs and my room???

**kitkatkittykat:** uhh idk

**coffeegivesmelife:** i mean we've been thru weirder stuff

**thebetteranne:** yea

**iguessimtheirmom:** but anne?

**beheadedbitch:** yes mum?

**iguessimtheirmom:** no more lyric pranking

**golden:** that goes for all of you

**beheadedbitch:** aww

 **beheadedbitch:** fine

**iguessimtheirmom:** thank you

**kitkatkittykat:** guys?

**thebetteranne:** yea?

**kitkatkittykat:** if mums not cooking, who is??

 **kitkatkittykat:** im hungry

**coffeegivesmelife:** i guess whoever's next

**kitkatkittykat:** which is....

**golden:** anne

**beheadedbitch:** i get it i get it im coming out

**thebetteranne:** good

**beheadedbitch:** im bi

**thebetteranne:** oweihgweoih

**kitkatkittykat:** annie plsssss

**beheadedbitch:** ik ik im going im going

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys remember the youtube chapter? yea so u know how they made a cover of good for you? yea, so i can't draw, but i made a gacha life music video for the song with the six queens  
> here's the link if y'all want it :)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bx1wQXU9k8
> 
> and also random question that i don't care how you answer:  
> do you think i should link my actual yt channel w my covers on here?  
> by my yt channel i mean a new video that i haven't exactly made yet hehe  
> i genuinely dont care what u guys think it just came to mind since i linked the glmv


	22. SUPER SIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HELLLOOOOOOOOO I GOTS A CHAP FOR U GUYS TODAY!
> 
> so insanity_times_ten came up with the idea originally, then i added on, and soon it spiralled from "a stupid, far-fetched idea" to "an even stupider, more far-fetched idea"
> 
> so i hope you guys enjoy six talking about them as superheroes hehe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and thanks again insanity_times_ten for giving me permission to use it here!
> 
> ALSO! this chapter and all other chaps i might add take place after "We'll Always Be Queens" (which is a oneshot in the series if u don't know) so just for timeline purposes, i thought i'd tell you guys!

**beheadedbitch:** @coffeegivesmelife !!!!

**coffeegivesmelife:** what??

**thebetteranne:** wat r we about to witness?

**beheadedbitch:** do u write fanfiction?

**golden:** love, where is this going?

**kitkatkittykat:** wats goin on?

**coffeegivesmelife:** uhh depends

 **coffeegivesmelife:** y?

**beheadedbitch:** i just got the best idea for an au and i need to see it come to life

**iguessimtheirmom:** au?

**thebetteranne:** alternate universe, babe

**iguessimtheirmom:** <3

**thebetteranne:** :)

**kitkatkittykat:** CLEVEMOUR CONTENT

**golden:** and what is this au, might i ask?

**beheadedbitch:** us

 **beheadedbitch:** but superheros

 **beheadedbitch:** w powers

**coffeegivesmelife:** superheroes has an e

 **coffeegivesmelife:** and elaborate child

**beheadedbitch:** basically when we reincarnate we get a superpower based on wat happened in our past life

**kitkatkittykat:** ngl this sounds lit

**thebetteranne:** gimme the powers

**iguessimtheirmom:** have you thought of powers for all of us?

**beheadedbitch:** yes i have

 **beheadedbitch:** for lina, its super strength bc who last the longest was the strongest

**kitkatkittykat:** hehe six reference :)

**golden:** not so sure about that, but it works

**thebetteranne:** y do i have a feeling anne just wants to see her wife lift heavy stuff?

**coffeegivesmelife:** pff

**iguessimtheirmom:** anna that's not that nice

**thebetteranne:** srry babe

**beheadedbitch:** but shes not wrong

**golden:** MOVING ON

**beheadedbitch:** i get telekenisis bc dlyh i talk henry into divorcing lina

**coffeegivesmelife:** telekenisis

**beheadedbitch:** is that not how u spell it?

**kitkatkittykat:** no

**thebetteranne:** wait i want telekinesis!!

**beheadedbitch:** yea and i want ur superpower, but i aint changing it cuz it makes sense this way

**iguessimtheirmom:** what did u give me?

**beheadedbitch:** it was so hard coming up w urs

 **beheadedbitch:** but i ended up giving u healing powers

**golden:** accurate

**beheadedbitch:** anna u get super speed bc who was most chased shall be first place

**kitkatkittykat:** dude thats cool

**thebetteranne:** its cool but i want telekinesis!

**beheadedbitch:** and i want super speed

**coffeegivesmelife:** don't give anne super speed

 **coffeegivesmelife:** bad idea

**beheadedbitch:** no good idea

 **beheadedbitch:** great idea

**kitkatkittykat:** my turn!

**beheadedbitch:** right!

 **beheadedbitch:** force fields like violet from incredibles so no creeps can touch you

**coffeegivesmelife:** rt

**thebetteranne:** rt

**iguessimtheirmom:** agreed

**golden:** very much agreed

**kitkatkittykat:** thx! now u cant steal my cookies!

**beheadedbitch:** wait-

**kitkatkittykat:** TOO LATE!

**beheadedbitch:** fine

**coffeegivesmelife:** and now me

**beheadedbitch:** invisibility bc ur the most underrated

**kitkatkittykat:** RT

**coffeegivesmelife:** wdym by underrated?

**golden:** "and without him i disappear"

**iguessimtheirmom:** people only know you for surviving

**thebetteranne:** "there's so much more--"

**kitkatkittykat:** theres barely any info on u

**beheadedbitch:** u have a bigger story than ppl give u credit for and that makes u "not as seen" so invisibility ur ACTUALLY not seen

 **beheadedbitch:** except ofc we notice when it first happens

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok i see ur point

 **coffeegivesmelife:** and it sounds pretty cool

 **coffeegivesmelife:** the au

**beheadedbitch:** YES CATHY APPROVED

**kitkatkittykat:** MY NICKNAME >:(

**coffeegivesmelife:** u made kitty angry

 **coffeegivesmelife:** (งಠ_ ಠ)ง

**beheadedbitch:** IM SRRY IM SRRY

**thebetteranne:** can i contribute?

**coffeegivesmelife:** sure

**golden:** u say that as if it's not my idea

**beheadedbitch:** HEY DONT STEAL MY WIFES IDEA

**thebetteranne:** cough

 **thebetteranne:** our idea

**golden:** fine

**thebetteranne:** henrys the annoying villain who never seems to go away no matter how hard we try

**kitkatkittykat:** omg yesssss

**iguessimtheirmom:** as much as i'd like to be nice, this does work

**coffeegivesmelife:** dully noted

**kitkatkittykat:** OOH WAT BOUT OUR LADIES?

 **kitkatkittykat:** like r they our friends who dont know about the powers?

**iguessimtheirmom:** they're our sidekicks

**thebetteranne:** :o

 **thebetteranne:** MY WIFE IS A GENIUS!!

**kitkatkittykat:** no mine

**beheadedbitch:** no mine

**thebetteranne:** were not going into this rn

**golden:** u were all arguing about this?

**kitkatkittykat:** yea

**coffeegivesmelife:** moving on...

 **coffeegivesmelife:** if the ladies r our sidekicks, do they have powers too?

 **coffeegivesmelife:** or r they just there like robin?

**thebetteranne:** HEY DONT DISS MY ROBIN!

**iguessimtheirmom:** in that case, batman doesn't have powers either?

**thebetteranne:** soemtiems having a smart wife is hard

**coffeegivesmelife:** soemtiems

**iguessimtheirmom:** :(

**thebetteranne:** no no srry ily <3

 **thebetteranne:** and shut up parr

**golden:** alright back to the topic

 **golden:** which i will say is a very strange topic

**beheadedbitch:** no its a great topic

**kitkatkittykat:** what if they have their instruments and thats like their weapon?

 **kitkatkittykat:** like theyll play a chord and it sends the bad guys flying

**thebetteranne:** wtf?

**coffeegivesmelife:** wait i swear ive seen smthn like that before

**beheadedbitch:** oh shit i know where she got that from?

**thebetteranne:** do tell

**beheadedbitch:** its from that weird mlp movie where instead of ponies tehyre ppl

**coffeegivesmelife:** tehyre

**beheadedbitch:** stop

**coffeegivesmelife:** no

**golden:** that's...

 **golden:** what?

**iguessimtheirmom:** that's a thing?

**coffeegivesmelife:** oh i remember now

**kitkatkittykat:** ANNE WHY U EXPOSE MEEEEEEE

**thebetteranne:** hol up y do anne and cath know bout this?

**coffeegivesmelife:** she made us watch it w her

**kitkatkittykat:** BC U WALKED IN

 **kitkatkittykat:** IT WAS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY

**beheadedbitch:** honestly?

 **beheadedbitch:** it was ok

**kitkatkittykat:**....

 **kitkatkittykat:** im not even gonna bother

**golden:** i'm still not seeing it

 **golden:** i mean the thing for the ladies

**iguessimtheirmom:** do you girls have an example

**kitkatkittykat:** ON IT!

 **kitkatkittykat:** https://youtu.be/msGMkMhYw_U?t=288

 **kitkatkittykat:** its not exactly what i was thinking of, but same concept

**thebetteranne:** oh god they look so weird

**iguessimtheirmom:** not really weird, just...

 **iguessimtheirmom:** different?

**golden:** i definitely see what ur going for with the ladies though kat

**kitkatkittykat:** :)

**coffeegivesmelife:** guess i'm including that in now

**beheadedbitch:** wait but @kitkatkittykat @coffeegivemelife

 **beheadedbitch:** do rocky and maud even play instruments??

**kitkatkittykat:**.....

**beheadedbitch:** imma take that as a no

**coffeegivesmelife:** well mama's TRYING to learn

 **coffeegivesmelife:** it's just not working out so well

**thebetteranne:** maud can be tambourine like that one person in the vid

**kitkatkittykat:** YES

 **kitkatkittykat:** mama in law is now fluttershy

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm confused?

**golden:** maud's going to play tambourine in our fake universe

 **golden:** that's all you need to know

**iguessimtheirmom:** ok

**kitkatkittykat:** and actually, ive been trying to teach rocky ukulele

 **kitkatkittykat:** so she can be that

**beheadedbitch:** perfect

 **beheadedbitch:** u got all that @coffeegivesmelife ?

**coffeegivesmelife:** hold on, i never agreed to actually write it yet

**kitkatkittykat:** ♡(ू•‧̫•ू⑅)

**coffeegivesmelife:** kitty don't make that face at me

**kitkatkittykat:** ♡(ू•‧̫•ू⑅)

 **kitkatkittykat:** ⊂( ･ω･*⊂)

**coffeegivesmelife:** don't

**kitkatkittykat:** ♡(ू•‧̫•ू⑅)

 **kitkatkittykat:** ⊂( ･ω･*⊂)

 **kitkatkittykat:** (≗ ᆽ ≗)

**coffeegivesmelife:** ughh

 **coffeegivesmelife:** fine

**kitkatkittykat:** :3

**thebetteranne:** rt if u had no idea wat that was

**beheadedbitch:** rt

**iguessimtheirmom:** rt?

**coffeegivesmelife:** it's called howard hypnosis over text

**kitkatkittykat:** ;3

**iguessimtheirmom:** she can use it over text now?

**golden:** she used it to convince maud to help by them heelys

**thebetteranne:** oh yea

**beheadedbitch:** fun times

**coffeegivesmelife:** expect an archive link in the chat soon

**iguessimtheirmom:** cath writing fanfiction about us is definitely a weird topic

**golden:** it's not like she's done it before

**kitkatkittykat:** oh she has

**coffeegivesmelife:** KITTY

**kitkatkittykat:** U EXPOSED ME

**coffeegivesmelife:** NO ANNE EXPOSED YOU

**beheadedbitch:** ;)

**thebetteranne:** no winky faces

**beheadedbitch:** IT WASNT FOR THAT INTENT BITCH

**thebetteranne:** watever

**golden:** and here we go again

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm honestly not surprised

**kitkatkittykat:** ok im srry cathy cuddles later when i get home

**coffeegivesmelife:** :)

**thebetteranne:** WAIT HOLD ON CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW CATH HAS WRITTEN FANFICS FOR US BEFORE??

**beheadedbitch:** @coffeegivesmelife

 **beheadedbitch:** @coffeegivesmelife

 **beheadedbitch:** @coffeegivesmelife y u aint respondin?

**golden:** she's offline

**thebetteranne:** she knew it was coming

 **thebetteranne:** @kitkatkittykat scout for us?

**kitkatkittykat:** off limits

 **kitkatkittykat:** i promised cathy cuddles

**beheadedbitch:** thats not-

 **beheadedbitch:** watever

**thebetteranne:** were on our own

**beheadedbitch:** move out

**kitkatkittykat:** @golden @iguessimtheirmom pls prevent them from doing anything too bad

**iguessimtheirmom:** ofc kat

**golden:** do it everyday

**beheadedbitch:** HEY

 **beheadedbitch:** RUDE

**golden:** hush u


	23. cath the fanfic writer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OOPS ANOTHER ONE? hehe
> 
> @kiarcheo  
> I want to know what fic(s) Cathy wrote!!
> 
> also featuring another topic in a conversation between me and insanity_times_ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> timeline: after "When queens leave, they find new ones"
> 
> also cath's links/account doesn't actually exist, that's why there isn't an actual link. just pretend there is.

**thebetteranne:** @coffeegivesmelife gimme hte fanfics u write

**iguessimtheirmom:** what?

**kitkatkittykat:** oh yea i remember

**coffeegivesmelife:** hte

**thebetteranne:** stfu

**golden:** don't force her

**thebetteranne:** i want them.

**coffeegivesmelife:** never

**kitkatkittykat:** U WROTE THE SUPERHERO AU I WANNA READ IT

**coffeegivesmelife:** no

**beheadedbitch:**...

 **beheadedbitch:** i has link

**thebetteranne:** GIMME

**coffeegivesmelife:** anne

 **coffeegivesmelife:** STFU

**kitkatkittykat:** LINK IN CHAT

**golden:** again, don't force her

**iguessimtheirmom:** i mean it's not really fair if anne has it and the rest of us don't

**golden:** who's side are you on?

**iguessimtheirmom:** the moral side

**thebetteranne:** THATS MY FUCKING WIFE EVERYONE

 **thebetteranne:** SHES AMAZING

**kitkatkittykat:** CLEVEMOUR CONTENTTTTT

**beheadedbitch:** @coffeegivesmelife u owe me

**coffeegivesmelife:** for what?

**thebetteranne:** :o

**beheadedbitch:** ur sexpert session

**thebetteranne:** fbhfhgahahah

**golden:** bo

 **golden:** what?

**iguessimtheirmom:** that's not that good a reason

**coffeegivesmelife:** U FUCKING EXPOSED ME????

 **coffeegivesmelife:** THAT'S NOT A VALID ENOUGH REASON BITCH

**thebetteranne:** well cath wanted the sexpert for once

**coffeegivesmelife:** y u bully me?

**kitkatkittykat:** DONT BULLY MA WIFE

 **kitkatkittykat:** (งಠ_ ಠ)ง

**beheadedbitch:** sorry

 **beheadedbitch:** not srry

**thebetteranne:** BOUT WAT I SAID

**golden:** not. now.

**thebetteranne:** fine.

**beheadedbitch:** ok lina

**iguessimtheirmom:** hold on, cath didn't you say you'd give us the link?

**coffeegivesmelife:** no?

**kitkatkittykat:** love, im srry

 **kitkatkittykat:** but u did

 **kitkatkittykat:** scroll up

**coffeegivesmelife:** shit

**thebetteranne:** give me

**coffeegivesmelife:** FINE

 **coffeegivesmelife:** *link attached*

(a bit later)

**beheadedbitch:** ITS GOOD RIGHT GUYS??

**thebetteranne:** HELL YEA THIS IS AMAZING!!

**kitkatkittykat:** THAT

 **kitkatkittykat:** IS

 **kitkatkittykat:** MY

 **kitkatkittykat:** GENIUS

 **kitkatkittykat:** WIFE

**golden:** cath's blushing

**coffeegivesmelife:** catherine yyyyyy?

**iguessimtheirmom:** maybe we should stop teasing cath before kat gets mad at us

**beheadedbitch:** yes mum

**thebetteranne:** ok jj

**kitkatkittykat:** THANK YOU

**coffeegivesmelife:** THANK YOU

**kitkatkittykat:** and for the record cathy, my fav is ur disney princess au

**thebetteranne:** w h a t

**coffeegivesmelife:** that's cuz u helped me w it

**kitkatkittykat:** :3

**golden:** how in the world did the two of u manage to fit us all into disney princesses?

**beheadedbitch:** some r obvi

 **beheadedbitch:** im reading it now, thx kitkat

 **beheadedbitch:** butlike cath as belle and kat as megara is obvious

**coffeegivesmelife:** butlike

**beheadedbitch:** fuck u

**coffeegivesmelife:** that'd be cheating so no

**thebetteranne:** sdklhglois

**iguessimtheirmom:** maybe let's not do this?

**kitkatkittykat:** anna is merida bc she doesnt get married at the end

**thebetteranne:**....

 **thebetteranne:** OGM THATS SO FUCKING TRUE

**coffeegivesmelife:** ogm

**thebetteranne:** SHUT UP

**coffeegivesmelife:** i will never shut up again!!

**beheadedbitch:** BRAND NEW DAY NOW WERE FINALLY FREE

 **beheadedbitch:** FREE TO WORSHIP ME

 **beheadedbitch:** CUZ ILL NEVER SHUT UP 

**golden:** shut up

 **golden:** bc it's in the song

 **golden:** but also, let's not burst into song pls?

**beheadedbitch:** srry

**iguessimtheirmom:** to change the topic, who am i?

**coffeegivesmelife:** rapunzel

**thebetteranne:** dats tru

**beheadedbitch:** accuart

 **beheadedbitch:** and before u correct me that was on purpose

**coffeegivesmelife:** aight

**kitkatkittykat:** at first i thought catherine was mulan,,

**golden:** ok?

**coffeegivesmelife:** but anne is more likely to run off and join the army against her family's will

**beheadedbitch:** tru dat

 **beheadedbitch:** i agree

**iguessimtheirmom:** who'd you put as catherine?

**coffeegivesmelife:** tiana

**thebetteranne:** the frog?

**kitkatkittykat:** pfff

**coffeegivesmelife:**....no

 **coffeegivesmelife:** bc she's a strong independent badass woman™️

 **coffeegivesmelife:** and she gets dragged into being turned into a frog

**golden:** with the chaos trio, i wouldn't be surprised if that actually happened

**beheadedbitch:** G A S P

**thebetteranne:** rude

**kitkatkittykat:** catherineeeee

**iguessimtheirmom:** she loves u all, even if she doesn't show it

**coffeegivesmelife:** imma be honest

 **coffeegivesmelife:** my fav part in writing that was making the ladies the animal sidekicks

**kitkatkittykat:** TO LAY IT OUT

 **kitkatkittykat:** maria- raymond (the firefly)

maggie- mushu

joan- pascal

bessie- angus the horse

rocky- pegasus

maud- mrs. potts

**beheadedbitch:** im changing maggies contact name to mushu in our private chat

**iguessimtheirmom:** mrs. potts isn't an animal?

**coffeegivesmelife:** shhhhhhh

**thebetteranne:** lol

**golden:** what is this chat

**beheadedbitch:** the best thing youll ever need

 **beheadedbitch:** besides me

 **beheadedbitch:** and the queens

 **beheadedbitch:** and the ladies

 **beheadedbitch:** and the alternates

**golden:** I G E T I T

**thebetteranne:** omg guys catherine just put spaces between her words

**kitkatkittykat:** p r o u d

**coffeegivesmelife:** s h o o k e t h

**golden:** stop

**coffeegivesmelife:** on behalf of us, srry

**iguessimtheirmom:** cath, don't be mad

 **iguessimtheirmom:** i sent the link to the ladies.

**coffeegivesmelife:** FHWSKVNOWLKSDJ


	24. MY WIFE IS THE BEST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who is the best wife?
> 
> except it ain't about u know who the man

**beheadedbitch:** MA WIFE IS THE BEST

**thebetteranne:** NO MINE

**kitkatkittykat:** NO MINEEEEEE

**coffeegivesmelife:** oh god here we go again

**iguessimtheirmom:** what's happening?

**coffeegivesmelife:** scroll up

**golden:** queens, stop fighting

 **golden:** bc mine is the best

**kitkatkittykat:** AW HELL NO

**coffeegivesmelife:** bitch if ur joining in, i'm joining too

 **coffeegivesmelife:** KITTY IS BEST WIFE

**thebetteranne:** NO JANEY

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm going to play the part of catherine parr

 **iguessimtheirmom:** and ask everyone to stop fighting over who's the best

**beheadedbitch:** well, if mum says so....

**iguessimtheirmom:** Because I fully think Anna is the best.

**beheadedbitch:** :O

**kitkatkittykat:** omg mum just did that

 **kitkatkittykat:** and in full grammar

**thebetteranne:** PROOF MA WIFE IS BEST

**golden:** she said that u are the best in full grammar

 **golden:** that doesn't prove anything

**coffeegivesmelife:** that aside

 **coffeegivesmelife:** KITTY BEST QUEEN

**beheadedbitch:** LINA

**thebetteranne:** JANEY

**golden:** ANNE

**kitkatkittykat:** CATHY

**iguessimtheirmom:** ANNA

(a few seconds)

**golden:** this is going to be a long day

_beheadedbitch added mariavonthedrums to 'craphead is a female dog'_

**beheadedbitch:** maria tell everyone that lina is the best queen

**mariavonthedrums:** what?

**coffeegivesmelife:** BITCH U CHEATER

**beheadedbitch:** THERE R NO RULES

**thebetteranne:** except no talking bout past lives

_kitkatkittykat added maudthemom to 'craphead is a female dog'_

**kitkatkittykat:** mama in law could u pls tell everyone that cathy is the best queen ever?

 **kitkatkittykat:** ♡(ू•‧̫•ू⑅)

**maudthemom:** what's going on?

**mariavonthedrums:** idk but it doesn't sound too good

_iguessimtheirmom added bbbbessssiieeee to 'craphead is a female dog'_

**bbbbessssiieeee:** again?

**mariavonthedrums:** wow i was betting on anna adding joan next

**maudthemom:** i thought it was going to be rocky

**iguessimtheirmom:** bessie pls tell everyone that anna is the best queen

**bbbbessssiieeee:**.....y?

_coffeegivesmelife added rockyroad to 'craphead is a female dog'_

**coffeegivesmelife:** KITTY IS BEST QUEEN CORRECT? 

**rockyroad:** huh?

_thebetteranne added makesomeloveforjoan to 'craphead is a female dog'_

**thebetteranne:** jane is best queen

**makesomeloveforjoan:** um what?

**golden:** GIRLS

 **golden:** remove everyone

 **golden:** WE'RE MOVING THIS TO THE BIG CHAT

**mariavonthedrums:** we'll leave ourselves

_mariavonthedrums left the group chat_

_bbbbessssiieeee left the group chat_

_rockyroad left the group chat_

_maudthemom left the group chat_

_makesomeloveforjoan left the group chat_

_golden sent a message to 'and then there were 12'_

**golden:** @magswguitarbags anne is the best queen, am i wrong?

**magswguitarbags:** wtf?

**rockyroad:** they added us to their queens chat and asked us if our queen is the best

**magswguitarbags:** all but me?

**bbbbessssiieeee:** yea

**magswguitarbags:** im offended

**beheadedbitch:** BACK TO THE IMPORTANT THING

 **beheadedbitch:** @mariavonthedrums U DIDNT ANSWER

**mariavonthedrums:** none of us did

**maudthemom:** and for a good reason

**kitkatkittykat:** but yyyyyyy?

**makesomeloveforjoan:** because it's just like six but without henry

**thebetteranne:** im not following

**rockyroad:** ur all fighting over whos the best wife

 **rockyroad:** but its not urself and henry

 **rockyroad:** its ur own wife

**iguessimtheirmom:** well, why is this so bad?

 **iguessimtheirmom:** what's wrong about saying my wife is the best?

**coffeegivesmelife:** A H E M

**golden:** excuse me??

**bbbbessssiieeee:** T H A T

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** is wat were talking bout

**magswguitarbags:** if yall dont stfu ur gonna snap

 **magswguitarbags:** fight scene irl but worse

**beheadedbitch:** oh....

**mariavonthedrums:** who tf started it?

**thebetteranne:** anne

**maudthemom:** ofc

**beheadedbitch:** L I E S A N D S L A N D E R

 **beheadedbitch:** K I T T Y STARTED IT

**kitkatkittykat:** L I E S

 **kitkatkittykat:** IT WAS CATHY

**coffeegivesmelife:** I ONLY STARTED BC CATHERINE DID IT

**golden:** well i didn't start it

 **golden:** i wasn't the one who said she was playing the role of catherine parr and asked everyone to stop fighting bc my wife is the best

**iguessimtheirmom:** that was AFTER you and cath joined

 **iguessimtheirmom:** so i didn't start it

**mariavonthedrums:** none of u know who started it

 **mariavonthedrums:** do u?

**beheadedbitch:** ill admit today was me

 **beheadedbitch:** but i didnt start the entire argument about it

**rockyroad:** actually i think that one time we all got drunk jane yelled out that anna was the best

 **rockyroad:** and then u all started yelling at her

**makesomeloveforjoan:** how do you know that?

**rockyroad:** designated driver

**makesomeloveforjoan:** oh

**iguessimtheirmom:** wait, i started it?

**rockyroad:** i think so...

 **rockyroad:** unless u all argued bout it before teh party

**coffeegivesmelife:** teh

**rockyroad:** that was on purpose

**coffeegivesmelife:** srry

**magswguitarbags:** point is.

 **magswguitarbags:** S T F U U R A L L Z E B E S T Q U E E N S

**golden:** apologies on behalf of everyone for dragging u all into this

**maudthemom:** it's a good thing u did honestly

 **maudthemom:** who knows wat might've happened

**thebetteranne:** @coffeegivesmelife y tf is ur mum so cool?

**coffeegivesmelife:** she just is

**beheadedbitch:** we cool?

**bbbbessssiieeee:** ur cool w us ladies

**beheadedbitch:** queens?

**kitkatkittykat:** :3

**iguessimtheirmom:** yes, we're good

**kitkatkittykat:** <3333333333

**mariavonthedrums:** JOAN THERE IS NO WAY THAT U R THE BEST LIW

**golden:**???

**mariavonthedrums:**....

 **mariavonthedrums:** shit

**thebetteranne:** HYPOCRITES


	25. halloween but it actually is this time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what? me not wanting to write actual stuff? N E V E R
> 
> but HALLOWEEN CHAPTER YAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol here's another chapter for u peeps
> 
> timeline: BEFORE "one more time", after last chapter (obvi)  
> and i only mention that because this work itself is before a lot of ze other oneshots, but chapters are posted before and after and u know what i'm probably not making any sense just read
> 
> (so basically in case you've read the other oneshots, specifically "one more time", they all still live together, and are married, and yea that's it)

**beheadedbitch:** wasup ma bitches

**thebetteranne:** its almost halloween bitches

**kitkatkittykat:** y must u be so chaotic?

**thebetteranne:** :o

**beheadedbitch:** CATH WTF DID U DO TO MY CUZ?

**beheadedbitch:** Y TF IS SHE SANE AND REPSONSIBLE NOW???

**coffeegivesmelife:** repsonsible

**beheadedbitch:** answer the fucking question

**iguessimtheirmom:** language

**iguessimtheirmom:** what's up with you guys??

**thebetteranne:** my lovely and dearest wife

**thebetteranne:** its almost halloween

**thebetteranne:** pls let us have this?

**golden:** no.

**thebetteranne:** ur not my wife

**golden:** i know

**kitkatkittykat:** but honestly

**kitkatkittykat:** halloween.

**beheadedbitch:** Y IS KITKAT SANE????

**beheadedbitch:** @coffeegivesmelife

**coffeegivesmelife:** i had nothing to do w it

**beheadedbitch:** then y didnt u say so earlier bitch??

**iguessimtheirmom:** hey catherine, why are our wives potty mouths going off?

**golden:** idk, maybe something with halloween?

**thebetteranne:** WOW

**thebetteranne:** U JUST REALIZED

**kitkatkittykat:** What do you guys want to be for Halloween?

**coffeegivesmelife:** WHAT THE FUCK?

**beheadedbitch:** THATS PERFECT GRAMMAR I AM DISGUSTED

**thebetteranne:** WTF HAPPENED TO MA BEST FWEN

**golden:** ok not to stray off topic but wth was that anna?

**thebetteranne:** best fwen

**thebetteranne:** sane ppl dont understand

**iguessimtheirmom:** i understood it tho?

**iguessimtheirmom:** wats goin on?

**beheadedbitch:** ok first kat is sane

**beheadedbitch:** now mum is texting w shortcuts

**coffeegivesmelife:** wtf is happening?

**kitkatkittykat:** Girls, I'm serious, what do you want to be for Halloween?

**golden:** i'm starting to get concerned...

**iguessimtheirmom:** surprised u werent earlier

**thebetteranne:** surprised u werent earlier

**thebetteranne:** OK WAT THE FUK

**coffeegivesmelife:** fuk

**thebetteranne:** intentional, bitch

**coffeegivesmelife:** whop

**coffeegivesmelife:** (and that was intentional)

**coffeegivesmelife:** (i only make intentional typos)

**thebetteranne:** sure sure

**beheadedbitch:** but WTF WHO CORRUPTED MY COUSINS?

**beheadedbitch:** I WILL FIND YOU

**beheadedbitch:** AND MAKE U ROT IN HELL

**golden:** this is just sad now

**thebetteranne:** wat is?

**kitkatkittykat:** _[[image attached]](https://www.famousbirthdays.com/faces/paris-natalie-image.jpg) _

**iguessimtheirmom:** _[[image attached]](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/sixthemusical/images/a/af/Aimie_Atkinson_-_One_Woman_Megasix/revision/latest?cb=20200531021202) _

**iguessimtheirmom:** oh wow that pic is rlly bad

**beheadedbitch:**....

**beheadedbitch:** apoligies cath

**coffeegivesmelife:** i will accept ur apology by not pointing out the typo

**golden:** u just did?

**coffeegivesmelife:** e x a c t l y

**thebetteranne:** let me ask the important question

**thebetteranne:** Y??? U HAD US FUCKIN WORRIED

**iguessimtheirmom:** srryyyyyy

**iguessimtheirmom:** but it was ur wifes idea

**kitkatkittykat:** sorry love, just wanted to play a little prank on u

**thebetteranne:** and catherine knew?

**golden:** pretty much

**golden:** i was "accidentally" included

**beheadedbitch:** ok but i am fucking proud of my little cousins now

**beheadedbitch:** pulling pranks

**beheadedbitch:** *wipes tear*

**beheadedbitch:** imma proud mama duck

**kitkatkittykat:** i'm older than you anne

**beheadedbitch:** shhhh

**coffeegivesmelife:** can u switch back? i'm still confused

**kitkatkittykat:** alright, give us a bit

**thebetteranne:** that aside,

**thebetteranne:** H A L L O W E E N

**beheadedbitch:** ok do we want mean girls vibe or regular vibe?

**golden:** what's mean girls vibe?

**coffeegivesmelife:** dress very provocative

**coffeegivesmelife:** to which i will say no

**golden:** oh, then no

**thebetteranne:** i say hell yea!

**iguessimtheirmom:** no 

**kitkatkittykat:** no

**beheadedbitch:** which ones u kitkat?

**kitkatkittykat:** im back

**beheadedbitch:** okie

**beheadedbitch:** @kitkatkittykat YYYY JUST A BIT AGO U WERE JUST LIKE ME AND NOW UR LIKE MUM???

**kitkatkittykat:** i get very influenced

**coffeegivesmelife:** don't influence my wife

**beheadedbitch:** dont bother w the fists sweetie

**kitkatkittykat:** anyway r we doing a theme?

**golden:** it'd be the first

**golden:** surprisingly

**iguessimtheirmom:** why don't we just go in our six costumes?

**thebetteranne:** ily but no

**thebetteranne:** we need new ideas

**beheadedbitch:** OOH WAT IF WE USED THE SUPERHERO AU?

**coffeegivesmelife:** no thank you

**coffeegivesmelife:** and don't bother thinking of using the princess au either

**beheadedbitch:** dangit

**kitkatkittykat:** hogwarts?

**thebetteranne:** everyone does hogwarts

**iguessimtheirmom:** i don't think we'll end up with a completely original idea, anna

**beheadedbitch:** cosplay

**kitkatkittykat:** annie u and i did that last year

**beheadedbitch:** shit ur right

**golden:** y don't we just do animals?

**golden:** we can just wear our onesies

**coffeegivesmelife:** @golden u have a onesie???/

**golden:** haven't worn it yet

**iguessimtheirmom:** well, the onesies sound good to me, what's everyone gonna be?

**beheadedbitch:** NARWHAL

**kitkatkittykat:** UNICORN

**coffeegivesmelife:** ofc

**iguessimtheirmom:** ok, i'm wearing my stitch onesie

**thebetteranne:** y tf have i not seen ma amazing wife in her stitch onesie?

**coffeegivesmelife:** cuz she don wan u seein her

**kitkatkittykat:** wtf cathy?

**coffeegivesmelife:** srry babe

**coffeegivesmelife:** <3

**kitkatkittykat:** <3

**golden:** i'm surprised kat isn't going to be a cat

**kitkatkittykat:** lemme switch it up

**golden:** ok ok

**coffeegivesmelife:** im totoro :)

**iguessimtheirmom:** what's that?

**beheadedbitch:** ok wat the fuk

**beheadedbitch:** and cath were spelling it like that now

**thebetteranne:** janey

**thebetteranne:** my beautiful and amazing wife

**kitkatkittykat:** CLEVEMOUR CONTENT

**thebetteranne:** how have u not heard of it?

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm not sure, in all honesty

**iguessimtheirmom:** especially if you three are acting like that

**coffeegivesmelife:** _[[image attached]](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81UbyXk3DAL._SL1500_.jpg) _

**coffeegivesmelife:** i'm the big gray thing in the middle

**iguessimtheirmom:** oh

**golden:** i just got it from the library, so family movie night

**kitkatkittykat:** YESSS

**beheadedbitch:** Y E S

**thebetteranne:** @golden wat r u?

**golden:** do i have to say?

**thebetteranne:** YES I HAVE TOO MANY ONESIES I NEED TO PICK ONE THAT NO ONE ELSE IS WEARING

**iguessimtheirmom:** come on catherine

**kitkatkittykat:** pls?

**coffeegivesmelife:** pls?

**golden:** no

**beheadedbitch:** pwease?

**golden:** ugh fine

**coffeegivesmelife:** i feel offended

**kitkatkittykat:** same here

**golden:** it's a corgi...

**iguessimtheirmom:** awww

**thebetteranne:** BHABAHAHABAHAAH

**beheadedbitch:** @coffeegivesmelife try saying that out loud ^

**coffeegivesmelife:** no thx

**coffeegivesmelife:** who laughs w a b?

**kitkatkittykat:** MY NAME IS MICHAEL W/ A B

**beheadedbitch:** wtfu

**coffeegivesmelife:** what the fuck up?

**beheadedbitch:** stfu*

**thebetteranne:** anne i think the correct correction would be

**thebetteranne:** s*tfu

**golden:** now it looks like "shit fuck up"

**kitkatkittykat:** PFFFFF

**thebetteranne:** but its correct

**iguessimtheirmom:** LANGUAGE

**iguessimtheirmom:** i leave for two minutes and you're all cussing like crazy

**coffeegivesmelife:** srry not srry

**beheadedbitch:** BOUT WAT I SAID

**kitkatkittykat:** ANNA! ONESIE!

**thebetteranne:** I CANT DECIDE

**golden:** just how many onesies do u have?

**thebetteranne:** too many

**iguessimtheirmom:** well, which one's are u stuck on?

**coffeegivesmelife:** yea we'll help

**thebetteranne:** thx guys

**thebetteranne:** ok i got:

**thebetteranne:** pikachu, owl, flying squirrel, winnie the pooh, and a shark

**kitkatkittykat:** PIKACHUUUUUUUUU

**beheadedbitch:** wait u have a flying squirrel????

**thebetteranne:** ye

**golden:** that's an interesting set of onesies

**coffeegivesmelife:** wait

**coffeegivesmelife:** WAIT ANNA SEND ME A PIC OF THE OWL ONESIE

**iguessimtheirmom:** uh cath, are u okay?

**thebetteranne:** [image attached]

**beheadedbitch:** thats cool

**coffeegivesmelife:** BITCH THAT'S MINE I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THAT

**kitkatkittykat:** DONT STEAL FROM MY WIFEEEEE

**kitkatkittykat:** (งಠ_ ಠ)ง

**thebetteranne:** IVE BEEN EXPOSED ANNE HELP ME

**beheadedbitch:** no

**beheadedbitch:** onesies r strictly off limits

**beheadedbitch:** U KNOW THIS

**thebetteranne:** but-

**iguessimtheirmom:** didn't u make that rule?

**thebetteranne:** i-

**golden:** anna, ur back to being a hippogriff

**kitkatkittykat:** pfff

**beheadedbitch:** linaaaaaaaaaaa

**golden:** sorry love, it was too good to pass up

**coffeegivesmelife:** OPEN UR FUCKING DOOR

**thebetteranne:** EHLP

**kitkatkittykat:** srry ur on ur own

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'll be there in a bit for damage control

**thebetteranne:** TY

**thebetteranne:** OMG

**beheadedbitch:** wat?

**beheadedbitch:** answer

**beheadedbitch:** answer bitch

**golden:** calm down, she's probably running

**thebetteranne:** ok so cath threatened to break down my door

**thebetteranne:** cuz it was locked

**iguessimtheirmom:** long story short, we need a new door for anna

**beheadedbitch:** oghwigohw

**beheadedbitch:** did she rlly break the door?

**kitkatkittykat:** ive got the insane amount of bandaid wrappers to prove it

**golden:** cath y would you do this over a onesie?

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok i get that it was ooc for me,

**coffeegivesmelife:** but mama gave me that, it's my favorite :(

**thebetteranne:** uh shit

**thebetteranne:** y didnt u say so?

**coffeegivesmelife:** adrenaline

**beheadedbitch:** that aside and back to picking annas onesie

**beheadedbitch:** do the shark

**thebetteranne:** y?

**beheadedbitch:** cuz then we have an excuse to sing baby shark

**kitkatkittykat:** OMG YES

**iguessimtheirmom:**...is this bc i didn't know what is was for a good two years?

**beheadedbitch:** y e s

**coffeegivesmelife:** i'm down w that

**iguessimtheirmom:** cathhh

**coffeegivesmelife:** no not for u

**coffeegivesmelife:** to annoy catherine

**golden:** you're going to regret that

**thebetteranne:** ok SHARK IT IS

**thebetteranne:** halloweens gonna be lit

**coffeegivesmelife:** am i?

**kitkatkittykat:** supremely lit

**coffeegivesmelife:** OW IT HURTS STOP

**kitkatkittykat:** :3

**beheadedbitch:** wat?

**coffeegivesmelife:** when i was a senior and kat was a freshman the school put on a dance party thing

**coffeegivesmelife:** all the posters said "come join us! it's gonna be SUPREMELY LIT"

**coffeegivesmelife:** it HURTS

**kitkatkittykat:** wat makes it worse is that this was uni and not mid or high school

**thebetteranne:** ouchhh

**iguessimtheirmom:** i don't get it?

**golden;** neither do i

**coffeegivesmelife:** dont expect u to

**beheadedbitch:** anyway

**beheadedbitch:** peace out yall

**iguessimtheirmom:** bye!

**kitkatkittykat:** before i go,

_kitkatkittykat changed beheadedbitch's user to mamaduck_

**thebetteranne:** omg i forgot u could do that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i forgot how to write chat fic jokes. oh well hope u enjoyed anyway
> 
> oh yea and the supremely lit thing happened when i was in 8th grade. it h u r t s


	26. gimme my user back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they just remembered u can change user names

**mamaduck:** ok who tf changed my user?

**iguessimtheirmom:** language

**mamaduck:** srry

**mamaduck:** whom the fuck

**thebetteranne:** bro scroll up

**mamaduck:**....

**mamaduck:** KATTTT

**kitkatkittykat:** yea?

**mamaduck:** wtf man

**kitkatkittykat:** wat?

**mamaduck:** yd u change it??

**thebetteranne:** f in chat for kat

**golden:** f

**golden:** getting used to this

**thebetteranne:** lol

**iguessimtheirmom:** f

**coffeegivesmelife:** f

**kitkatkittykat:** cathy no

**kitkatkittykat:** u gotta come protect me

**coffeegivesmelife:** srry, i'm coming

_mamaduck changed coffeegivesmelife's user to simpforkat_

**simpforkat:** BITCH WAT THE HELL?

**kitkatkittykat:** did u-

**kitkatkittykat:** R U BULLYING MA WIFE??

**mamaduck:** rlly?

**mamaduck:** ur picking ur wife over ur fav cuz?

**kitkatkittykat:** i dont have favs

**mamaduck:** sure

**iguessimtheirmom:** what does simp mean?

**simpforkat:** oh my-

**mamaduck:** no one tell her

_thebetteranne changed iguessimtheirmom's user to purefluffyunicorn_

**golden:** even i know what simp means

_simpforkat changed golden's user to simpforanne_

**simpforkat:** it's cuz u r one

**kitkatkittykat:** HAHA

**simpforanne:** fuck u

**thebetteranne:** omg guys catherine cussed

**thebetteranne:** and it wasnt situational ;)

**kitkatkittykat:** U HIPPOGRIFF NO WINKY FACES

_kitkatkittykat changed thebetteranne's user to hippogriff_

**mamaduck:** U BULLYS IT WAS ONE TIME

**simpforkat:** bullys

**mamaduck:** shut

**mamaduck:** your

**mamaduck:** fucking

**mamaduck:** mouth

**simpforkat:** now that makes me wanna go get kat

**simpforanne:** i don't understand

**purefluffyunicorn:** i don't understand any of it

**purefluffyunicorn:** what is a simp?

**purefluffyunicorn:** and what's going on?

**hippogriff:** CATH U DIRTY MINDED MOTHERFUCKER

**simpforkat:** i don't fuck my mom tyvm

**hippogriff:** KAT CONTROL UR WIFE

**kitkatkittykat:** IM SRRY HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW SHED START TALKING ABOUT HER SEX LIFE??

**purefluffyunicorn:** but she didn't

**purefluffyunicorn:** her sex life is yours to, isn't it?

**simpforanne:** ahha

**simpforkat:** if u say that out loud it sounds like ur having sex

**mamaduck:** ok cath. R U HORNY CUZ THIS IS CONCERNING

**simpforkat:** i'm drunk stfu

**kitkatkittykat:** BABE WHERE R U I WILL NOT ALOW U TO TEXT AND DRIVE WHILE D R U N K

**simpforkat:** no where

**simpforanne:** she's not drunk she's messing with you all

**hippogriff:** yall*

**simpforkat:** exposed

**kitkatkittykat:** cathy i stg i was about to tackle u to the ground

**purefluffyunicorn:** haven't you done that before?

**mamaduck:** yea

_simpforanne changed their user to golden_

_kitkatkittykat changed golden's user to simpforanne_

**simpforanne:** ok but that's not fair, u get to keep your user

**kitkatkittykat:** too bad it was my idea

_hippogriff changed kitkatkittykat's user to unfairbitch_

**unfairbitch:** A N N A

**hippogriff:** ha too bad

**purefluffyunicorn:** seriously guys, what is a simp??

**simpforkat:** nothing

**mamaduck:** nothign

**unfairbitch:** nothing

**hippogriff:** nothing

**purefluffyunicorn:** anna u of all people know i'm not as innocent as you think

**purefluffyunicorn:** so don't make me search it up

**hippogriff:** im srry im srry

_simpforanne changed purefluffyunicorn's name to notsopure_

**simpforanne:** just for that

**notsopure:** i'm searching it up

**unfairbitch:** NO

**mamaduck:** NO

**notsopure:** too late

**notsopure:** does it rlly mean someone who will do anything for someone?

**notsopure:** generally speaking?

**simpforkat:** yea, y?

_notsopure changed hippogriff's user to simpforjane_

**notsopure:** :)

**unfairbitch:** CLEVEMOUR CONTENT

**mamaduck:** oh shit mums a savage

**simpforkat:** not as savage as mine

**simpforkat:** trust me on that

**simpforanne:** i'm trusting u

**simpforjane:** oh COME ON

**simpforjane:** IM NOT A SIMP

**unfairbitch:** [image attached]

**unfairbitch:** u literally said srry twice to jane like two minutes ago

**mamaduck:** thats simp behavior

**simpforkat:** i luv how u two aren't bothering to support catherine and i

**unfairbitch:** cuz we dont need to everyone knows u two r simps for us

_notsopure renamed the group chat to 'simping for the cousins'_

**mamaduck:** YES

**unfairbitch:** yesssssssssss

**simpforjane:** im highly offended

**notsopure:** i'll make it up to u later ;)

(a few seconds later)

**simpforkat:** ok if that's not proof ur a simp idk wat is

**simpforjane:** wat?

**simpforanne:** u didn't call out jane for using the winky face

**simpforanne:** when u clearly said no winky faces in chat

**unfairbitch:** not to mention the times you've broken the rule to appeal to mum

**mamaduck:** SIMP

_unfairbitch changed their user to kitkatkittykat_

_mamaduck changed their user to beheadedbitch_

_kikatkittykat changed beheadedbitch's user to mamaduck_

_mamaduck changed kitkatkittykat's user to unfairbitch_

**simpforkat:** IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIFEEEEE

**simpforanne:** what the heck

**notsopure:** I will start texting in proper grammar again if you don't let me change my user back.

**simpforjane:** give her her user back

**simpforkat:** bitch this is y ur a simp

_simpforanne added mariavonthedrums to 'simping for the cousins'_

**simpforanne:** WAIT SHIT WRONG BUTTON

**mariavonthedrums:** PFFFFFFFF

**mariavonthedrums:** nice chat name

**mariavonthedrums:** simps

**simpforkat:** ok shut up maria

**mariavonthedrums:** its mags i stole marias phone

**mariavonthedrums:** SIMPS

**simpforjane:** stop let me kick u out

_mariavonthedrums left the group chat_

* * *

_mariavonthedrums sent a message to 'the greatest ladies ever'_

**mariavonthedrums:** hey guys its mags check this out

**mariavonthedrums:** [image attached]

**rockyroad:** SIMPS

**mariavonthedrums:** oh hsit marias chasing me brb

**bbbbessssiieeee:** loll

* * *

_mamaduck renamed the group chat 'i will never let u get ur user back'_

_notsopure renamed the group chat 'You better or I will start texting in perfect grammar again'_

_unfairbitch renamed the group chat 'but its MY idea and well stop when i say so_

_mamaduck renamed the group chat 'NO'_

_simpforanne renamed the group chat 'stop fighting in the group chat name'_

_mamaduck renamed the group chat 'FINE'_

_unfairbitch renamed the group chat 'simping for the cousins'_

**simpforkat:** r u guys done?

**notsopure:** We are not done until the users are changed back.

_notsopure changed their user to iguessimtheirmom_

**simpforjane:** pls keep it like this, the perfect grammar hurt my eyes

**unfairbitch:** bitch u have 20/20 vision i am blind i need glasses

_unfairbitch changed iguessimtheirmom's user to stopmakingannasimpoveru_

_unfairbitch changed their user to kitkatkittykat_

**mamaduck:** HOW COME U GET URS BACK

**kitkatkittykat:** CUZ I ZE QUEEN OF ZE CASTLE

**simpforjane:** GET DOWN U DIRTY RASCAL 

_stopmakingannasimpoveru changed their user to iguessimtheirmom_

**iguessimtheirmom:** Get down.

**mamaduck:** lol lina and cath r just silent

**kitkatkittykat:** cuz theyre obedient simps

**simpforkat:** stfu

_mamaduck changed their user to beheadedbitch_

_simpforjane changed their user to thebetteranne_

_simpforanne changed their user to golden_

_simpforkat changed their user to coffeegivesmelife_

_coffeegivesmelife renamed the group chat to 'craphead is a female dog'_

_kitkatkittykat renamed the group chat to 'simping for the cousins'_

**kitkatkittykat:** cathy ily but were keeping it

**coffeegivesmelife:** :(

**kitkatkittykat:** ill make it up to u

**beheadedbitch:** i call the house

**thebetteranne:** no we called it first scroll up

**beheadedbitch:** fine bitch

**beheadedbitch:** lina were renting a room

**golden:** it's safe to assume what's happening later right?

**kitkatkittykat:** its cuz u guys simp over us cousins

**thebetteranne:** STFU


	27. let's all annoy cath to death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka the chapter w the most typos

_greenbean sent a message to ‘save parrward/kittycath’_

**greenbean:** i has a prank

 **greenbean:** but i need ur help

**redstrawberry:** ok first lets chagne the chat name

 **redstrawberry:** change

_redstrawberry renamed the group chat to 'parrward is the fluffiest thing alive'_

**greenbean:** coolsies

**goldenpinapple:** anne we're not lyric pranking again

**therernosilverproduce:** what did we say??

**greenbean:** ok ok hol up im not lyric pranking

**redstrawberry:** wats goin on theen?

 **redstrawberry:** tehn

 **redstrawberry:** then

**goldenpinapple:** y is your speeling worse than usual today?

 **goldenpinapple:** spelling

**therernosilverproduce:** seems like it's spreading

**greenbean:** ok rt

 **greenbean:** but also i wanna annoy cath by making a bunch of on purpose typos

**goldenpinapple:** that's not a prank?

**redstrawberry:** no but itll annoy the shit out of her

 **redstrawberry:** im in

**therernosilverproduce:** kat's not gonna let that happen?

**greenbean:** she wont be there cuz she forgot her phone

 **greenbean:** she must not need it if she didnt come back for it

**goldenpinapple:**...did u steal her phone?

**greenbean:** no

**redstrawberry:** i did

**therernosilverproduce:** anna give it back

**redstrawberry:** just this once?

 **redstrawberry:** plsssssssss?

**greenbean:** omg ur not simping for once

**redstrawberry:** stfu

**goldenpinapple:** ok fine.

 **goldenpinapple:** @therernosilverproduce if kat asks, they bribed us into it

**therernosilverproduce:** alright

**greenbean:** meanies

_beheadedbitch sent a message to 'simping for the cousins'_

**beheadedbitch:** yo caht wanna get sum food?

**coffeegivesmelife:** dude ik u suck at typing but-

 **coffeegivesmelife:** my name? 

**coffeegivesmelife:** rlly?

**thebetteranne:** answer the fcuking question

**coffeegivesmelife:** fcuking

 **coffeegivesmelife:** and u rlly wanna buy food? 

**coffeegivesmelife:** jane's cooking tonight

**iguessimtheirmom:** i can make an ecxeptoin

**coffeegivesmelife:** ecxptoin

 **coffeegivesmelife:** wtf is wrong w ur guys spelling today?

**golden:** wdym?

**coffeegivesmelife:** y'all r making WAY too many typos

**golden:** i'm sure it's just a cioncidnce

**coffeegivesmelife:**...

 **coffeegivesmelife:** is this on purpose

**beheadedbitch:** wdym

**thebetteranne:** we wouldnt do taht

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm jsut tride

**coffeegivesmelife:** how tf did tired become tride??

**golden:** u ocuyld rwsd taht?

**coffeegivesmelife:** WTF U GUYS????

 **coffeegivesmelife:** IM TEXTING KITTY

**beheadedbitch:** SIMP

**coffeegivesmelife:** oh so u can type THAT correctly??

**beheadedbitch:** yuo

**coffeegivesmelife:** U G H

 **coffeegivesmelife:** y isn't she answering???

**thebetteranne:** i syloe htr pgnoe

**coffeegivesmelife:** u fucking w h a t ?

**iguessimtheirmom:** i hda nihtunf to do whit taht

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok these on purpose typos r fucking a n n o y i n g

**golden:** lNguaeg

**coffeegivesmelife:** SINCE WHEN DO Y O U CARE?

**golden:** snice mqo

**thebetteranne:** ahha

**coffeegivesmelife:** u know i luv that in ur mind now could be typed as mqo

 **coffeegivesmelife:** but SHUT

 **coffeegivesmelife:** THE

 **coffeegivesmelife:** FUCK

 **coffeegivesmelife:** UP

**beheadedbitch:** praut poooppre

**coffeegivesmelife:** that one's dumb

**iguessimtheirmom:** i feel guilty now, i'm going to stop

**coffeegivesmelife:** t h a n k y o u

**beheadedbitch:** jsut teh 3 of ys

**coffeegivesmelife:** i stg anne u know i hate fucking numbers when texting

**golden:** wyh

**coffeegivesmelife:** WHO USES FUCKING NUMBERS WHEN TEXTING?

**thebetteranne:** fod

**coffeegivesmelife:** owiehfgweoigh

**iguessimtheirmom:** she has a point

 **iguessimtheirmom:** anna i mean

**coffeegivesmelife:** but that's m o n e y

 **coffeegivesmelife:** that's different

**golden:** ninbres are nimvres

**beheadedbitch:** wihch is wyh i wlil be usnig tehm

**coffeegivesmelife:** fuck u all

 **coffeegivesmelife:** except u jane

**thebetteranne:** seh wsa parrt of it

**beheadedbitch:** NO PUNS

**coffeegivesmelife:** oh ur right i take it back then

 **coffeegivesmelife:** but she's still better than u guys

**iguessimtheirmom:** annaaaa

**thebetteranne:** i refsue to go dwon wo tkanig uw me

**beheadedbitch:** oh i fir gptwe clu od kc u w the sa pcign

**golden:** caht psl drcpohre

**coffeegivesmelife:** i will when u stop making typos

**golden:** done

**coffeegivesmelife:** "oh i forgot we could fuck w the spelling"

**iguessimtheirmom:** how could you read taht?

**coffeegivesmelife:** first off, i'm a genius

 **coffeegivesmelife:** second, jane wtf i thought u stopped!!!

**iguessimtheirmom:** that wasn't on purpose i swear

**thebetteranne:** onjna e cin rbskc

**beheadedbitch:** @golden yu brrau me??

**golden:** this is stupid

**beheadedbitch:** :o

 **beheadedbitch:** :(

**golden:** i'm sorry, but it is

**thebetteranne:** istbr st beistei m

**beheadedbitch:** dd ueta hst oto m chui cn stumd resys nd u

**iguessimtheirmom:** what in the world are they saying?

**thebetteranne:** wa htd di usy s?

**golden:** i have no idea

**beheadedbitch:** ic nar fki cignybs erst sdnu !!

 **beheadedbitch:** liq reur fkyc gnityoo s

**thebetteranne:** AMNEU FKI CIGNBORHC ICAM NIT RD SE URFUK CGNI TXT ES

**golden:** jane have u gotten any better?

**iguessimtheirmom:** no

 **iguessimtheirmom:** cath can you understand them?

**coffeegivesmelife:** yes and i fucking love it

**thebetteranne:** CAHTTL LE AM EM ICNT A RD AEHRE XTTYS

**coffeegivesmelife:** no

**thebetteranne:** W YH???

**coffeegivesmelife:** cuz im a bad bitch

**beheadedbitch:** urrly k i nt 

**beheadedbitch:** BYTET KL AN MA S EH NRD ESTOL TN OEIT DWOM

**coffeegivesmelife:** again, no

**golden:** cath what r they saying?

**coffeegivesmelife:** like i'm telling u

**iguessimtheirmom:** please?

**coffeegivesmelife:** no

**golden:** i will join them again if you don't tell

**coffeegivesmelife:** u petty bitch

 **coffeegivesmelife:** i will tell u what they were talking about when they stfu

(a few seconds)

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok say smthn in NORMAL texting

**golden:** anne says "no that'll ruin the streak"

**coffeegivesmelife:** DON'T ENCOURAGE HER

**golden:** ok

**iguessimtheirmom:** anna?

**thebetteranne:** fine

 **thebetteranne:** cath i am terribly sorry for having f u n

**coffeegivesmelife:** kitty's gon be pissed at u if u thought this was f u n

**thebetteranne:** cool

**iguessimtheirmom:** no prank war

**thebetteranne:** vnskdjof fineeeeeee

**coffeegivesmelife:** anne give it up

**beheadedbitch:** on irwfy es

**coffeegivesmelife:** do u wanna know wat anna said or not?

**beheadedbitch:** UGH FINE

 **beheadedbitch:** curse my curiosty 

**coffeegivesmelife:** A N N E

**iguessimtheirmom:** anne

**golden:** bo

**thebetteranne:** anne

**beheadedbitch:** I STFG THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT

**coffeegivesmelife:** sure

**beheadedbitch:** I SWEAR

 **beheadedbitch:** but in case u havent noticed i have stopped

**coffeegivesmelife:** so it seems

**iguessimtheirmom:** what were they saying?

**coffeegivesmelife:** i'll tell u later >:)

**golden:** Catherine Parr.

**coffeegivesmelife:** u guys r bitches

 **coffeegivesmelife:** i never said WHEN

**thebetteranne:** u fucking bitch

**coffeegivesmelife:** i'll stick to my wife ty

**beheadedbitch:** SLKDGSH

(time skip to when kitty gets her phone back)

**kitkatkittykat:** let me ask this calmly

 **kitkatkittykat:** WHO THE FUCK DECIDED IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO BULLY MY WIFE????

 **kitkatkittykat:** (งಠ_ ಠ)ง

 **kitkatkittykat:** (งಠ_ ಠ)ง

 **kitkatkittykat:** (งಠ_ ಠ)ง

 **kitkatkittykat:** (งಠ_ ಠ)ง

**coffeegivesmelife:** babe don't go too hard on them,

 **coffeegivesmelife:** i found the later part quite amusing

**kitkatkittykat:** glad uve forgiven them love,

 **kitkatkittykat:** but N O O N E

 **kitkatkittykat:** bullies my wife

**beheadedbitch:** she still hasnt told us wat anna said

**thebetteranne:** or wat anne said

**golden:** it's a bit annoying

**iguessimtheirmom:** agreed

**kitkatkittykat:** Who the fuck was it?

**iguessimtheirmom:** anne

**golden:** anna was eager to join

**iguessimtheirmom:** and catherine and i were bribed into it

**thebetteranne:** HEY

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok that has g o t to be planned there's no way that was coincidence

**golden:** we're in the same room so you could say that

**kitkatkittykat:** ANNE MILLIE BOLEYN NOW ARAGON GET UR FUCKING ASS HERE RIGHT NOW

**beheadedbitch:** HELP ME

**thebetteranne:** lol nope

**kitkatkittykat:** ur not off the hook either anna alexia seymour-cleves

**thebetteranne:** OH SHIT JANEY HELP ME

**iguessimtheirmom:** srry

 **iguessimtheirmom:** but not

**thebetteranne:** cri im gonna go hide now

**golden:** WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??

**coffeegivesmelife:** sweet sweet revenge


	28. let's all annoy cath to death: the aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @Natsuo_1  
> annoying Cath for no reason Y E S , and then Kat came back, and I feel like she beat the crap outta Anne and Anna, but I gotta know, what happened to them?

**golden:** WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??

**coffeegivesmelife:** sweet sweet revenge

(another loud and concerning thud)

**golden:** srsly, what is that???

(a door slamming)

**iguessimtheirmom:** well kat just slammed the door on me

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm a little concerned

**coffeegivesmelife:** u should be

**thebetteranne:** call me out when its over

**iguessimtheirmom:** open your door, i'm it's not gonna be that bad

**coffeegivesmelife:** f u n n y

**golden:** i hear anne shouting i need to go save her

**coffeegivesmelife:** simp

**golden:** do NOT make me change your user

**coffeegivesmelife:** sure and i'll just change urs

**iguessimtheirmom:** girls, we're not changing users anymore

**coffeegivesmelife:** HA

**golden:** fine

**golden:** i'm still going to save my wife

**coffeegivesmelife:** i'd say break a leg but then kitty might ACTUALLY break ur leg

(running across the house)

**iguessimtheirmom:** is that anne, kat, anna, or catherine?

**coffeegivesmelife:** u live w us and u still haven't figured out what our footsteps sound like?

**coffeegivesmelife:** it's anne, followed by kat

**iguessimtheirmom:** first off, i'm pretty sure you're the only one who knows that

**thebetteranne:** ik wat everyones footsteps sounds like

**coffeegivesmelife:** go back to cowering in fear u coward

**iguessimtheirmom:** Cath.

**coffeegivesmelife:** srry

**thebetteranne:** r u scared of my wife?

**coffeegivesmelife:** prepare urself cuz kitty's coming after u

**thebetteranne:** nah im secure its fine

**coffeegivesmelife:** if u say sooooo

**iguessimtheirmom:** anyway,

**iguessimtheirmom:** i was going to say that i think anne escaped

**coffeegivesmelife:** bit late for that accusation now

**iguessimtheirmom:** i realize

**coffeegivesmelife:** where r u anyway?

**iguessimtheirmom:** music room

**thebetteranne:** my room

**kitkatkittykat:** GOTCHA

**thebetteranne:** SHIT

**kitkatkittykat:** ANNA ALEXIA SEYMOUR-CLEVES COME OUT COME OUT!!

**thebetteranne:** IM PAN

**coffeegivesmelife:** pffffff

**iguessimtheirmom:** love, that's not going to help your situation

**golden:** OH MY FUCKING GOD

**thebetteranne:** that is NOT a good sign

**golden:** CATH U JUST LET THIS HAPPEN?

**coffeegivesmelife:** what?

**coffeegivesmelife:** all kitty does is smack her head w a pillow and tie her to a chair and shoot her w a water gun

**thebetteranne:** oh god that's torture

**iguessimtheirmom:** catherine what happened?

**golden:** @coffeegivesmelife I AM ABOUT TO GO MURDER UR WIFE

**coffeegivesmelife:** gasp

**coffeegivesmelife:** u would kill ur favorite goddaughter's love of both of her lives just to save ur wife??

**golden:** after what she did, y e s

**golden:** but murdering will have to wait

**iguessimtheirmom:** @golden WHAT HAPPENED

**golden:** ANNE'S RIBS ARE FUCKING BROKEN I'M TAKING HER TO THE HOSPITAL

**thebetteranne:**. . .

**thebetteranne:** FUCK

**thebetteranne:** OH SHIT

**thebetteranne:** SHIT KAT'S BANGING ON MY DOOR I NEED TO ESCAPE

**kitkatkittykat:** U CANT ESCAPE ME

**iguessimtheirmom:** CATH Y WOULD U LET UR WIFE DO THAT?

**coffeegivesmelife:** I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS GOING TO FUCKING BREAK ANNE'S RIBS!!!!

**iguessimtheirmom:** SHE COULD DIE

**thebetteranne:** AM I GONNA DIE???????

**iguessimtheirmom:** NO YPUR NIT IM COMNIG TO SAVR U

**iguessimtheirmom:** JUPM OUT TEH WNIDWO

**thebetteranne:** W H A T ? ? ?

**iguessimtheirmom:** JUMP OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW

**thebetteranne:** U WANT ME TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW???

**coffeegivesmelife:** NO ONE IS JUMPING OUT OF WINDOWS

**coffeegivesmelife:** IM GOING TO GO CALM DOWN KITTEN

**thebetteranne:** too late

**thebetteranne:** my being hurts

**thebetteranne:** and i need a new door again

**iguessimtheirmom:**...

**coffeegivesmelife:** wtf did she do?

**thebetteranne:** i have no idea how she broke through the entire fucking door,

**thebetteranne:** but she did

**thebetteranne:** and now shes passed out and on top of my very aching body

**thebetteranne:** and we probably need to go join aralyn

**coffeegivesmelife:** shit

**iguessimtheirmom:** cath

**coffeegivesmelife:** yea?

**iguessimtheirmom:** control ur fucking wife next time

(time skip, chaos three are healing)

**beheadedbitch:** kats lucky

**golden:** and in big trouble

**thebetteranne:** so much trouble

**iguessimtheirmom:** are we including cath?

**golden:** yea

**coffeegivesmelife:** u know we can see this?

**iguessimtheirmom:** that's the point

**kitkatkittykat:** y am i lucky?

**beheadedbitch:** cuz u get to go home

**beheadedbitch:** and i have to stay here

**golden:** your injury is much worse,

**golden:** but they're letting me stay with you until you heal

**beheadedbitch:** <3

**golden:** <3

**thebetteranne:** janey can i go home?

**iguessimtheirmom:** they're gonna check on you again

**iguessimtheirmom:** but they said it's likely you'll be released tonight

**beheadedbitch:** :(

**thebetteranne:** :)))))

**beheadedbitch:** double chins

**thebetteranne:** stfu

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok but how come anna's injuries aren't as bad as anne's?

**coffeegivesmelife:** kitty literally busted through a door and tackled her

**thebetteranne:** anne's weak

**beheadedbitch:**.

**golden:** Say that again.

**thebetteranne:** I MEANT PHYSICALLY

**thebetteranne:** I WORK OUT AND SHE DOESNT

**thebetteranne:** PLS DONT TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY I DIDNT MEAN IT

**beheadedbitch:** apology accepted

**golden:** apology accepted

**iguessimtheirmom:** @kitkatkittykat @coffeegivesmelife why can't you be like that?

**coffeegivesmelife:** bc we're the youngest

**kitkatkittykat:** we need to prove out worth

**golden:** no one is asking you to prove your worth

**coffeegivesmelife:** yea right

**kitkatkittykat:** sureeeeee

**thebetteranne:** hold on r we not gonna mention the fact that theyre literally part fucking bull??

**beheadedbitch:** wklghso

**iguessimtheirmom:** huh?

**coffeegivesmelife:** what?

**kitkatkittykat:** wtf?

**golden:** explain

**thebetteranne:** when angered, they have the strength and willpower to barge through doors

**thebetteranne:** specifically mine.

**beheadedbitch:** PFF HAHA

**coffeegivesmelife:** lol whoops

**kitkatkittykat:** srryyyyyy

**thebetteranne:** oh so NOW u apologize?!?!

**thebetteranne:** when i mention my FUCKING DOOR???

**coffeegivesmelife:** uhhh

**kitkatkittykat:** is it bad to say yes?

**iguessimtheirmom:** yes

**golden:** yup

**kitkatkittykat:** srry

**kitkatkittykat:** i overreacted

**kitkatkittykat:** but to be fair, u guys always bully us

**kitkatkittykat:** and cathy more than me, ofc i'd get mad

**coffeegivesmelife:** rt

**coffeegivesmelife:** but mostly bout kitty

**kitkatkittykat:** no, they bully u more

**coffeegivesmelife:** over text

**coffeegivesmelife:** you've complained to me about them calling u a baby cuz ur the youngest

**kitkatkittykat:** fair point

**beheadedbitch:** kitkat, cath, im srry

**beheadedbitch:** im a terrible person, ill stop

**kitkatkittykat:** annie ur not terrible

**kitkatkittykat:** first off, it's not just u

**coffeegivesmelife:** (mostly the divorced pair when u think about it)

**kitkatkittykat:** second, we understand that it mostly joking around

**kitkatkittykat:** most of the time we yell at yall is us 'playing along'

**coffeegivesmelife:** buuuuuuut sometimes the amount of time u do it gets to be a bit much

**iguessimtheirmom:** We're sorry.

**golden:** Sorry you two.

**thebetteranne:** Sorry.

**thebetteranne:** ngl, im not gonna stop,

**thebetteranne:** but ill definitely tone it down

**thebetteranne:** i tease u all its a part of me

**kitkatkittykat:** parrt

**kitkatkittykat:** thxx

**beheadedbitch:** I'm sorry.

**coffeegivesmelife:** u already apologized, it's fine

**coffeegivesmelife:** ur only partially at fault

**thebetteranne:** since when did this become so fluffy?

**thebetteranne:** i thought this was a crack chat

**golden:** i'd say it still is

**iguessimtheirmom:** we can sill have sentimental moments here

**kitkatkittykat:** i love you guys

**coffeegivesmelife:** love u too <3

**beheadedbitch:** im her older cousin, i love her more

**iguessimtheirmom:** i'm also her cousin?

**thebetteranne:** friends also have love and i lover her most

**coffeegivesmelife:** bitches i am literally her fucking wife how can u love her more than me?

**golden:** i feel so out of place

**kitkatkittykat:** lol

**beheadedbitch:** ol

<|

/\

**thebetteranne:** ALEXANDER HAMILTON

**kitkatkittykat:** no

**coffeegivesmelife:** u were singing schuyler sisters w us that one time

**kitkatkittykat:** cuz thats the only good one

**thebetteranne:** GASP

**beheadedbitch:** im disappointed in u

**iguessimtheirmom:** and here we go again

**golden:** were u surprised? we're best friends who live in the same house

**golden:** you can't stop the teasing

**beheadedbitch:** YOU CANT STOP THE BEAT

**golden:** NO MORE THEATRE REFERENCESSS


	29. r they gonna get drunk? yes. yes they r

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.instagram.com/p/CIynaMzHQjB/ 
> 
> and that's all u need to know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON YALLLLLLL

_beheadedbitch sent a message to 'and then there were 12'_

**beheadedbitch:** suppp

**mariavonthedrums:** ok what is it this time?

**magswguitarbags:** r the non cousins simping again?

**kitkatkittykat:** PFFFFFFFFF

**thebetteranne:** IM NOT A SIMP

**iguessimtheirmom:** babe i love you

**iguessimtheirmom:** but we've talked about this, you are

**rockyroad:** IM DYRING

**maudthemom:** drying???

**rockyroad:** dying*

**coffeegivesmelife:** oh dammit i was gonna correct u

**rockyroad:** stfu

**makesomeloveforjoan:** wait are we talking about the queens' simp chat or the time kat broke anna's door

**bbbbessssiieeee:** WAIT SHE DID??

**bbbbessssiieeee:** HOW WAS I NOT AWARE OF THIS???

**thebetteranne:** bc if i told u i was scared parrward was gonna come break down my door again and kill me in my sleep

**kitkatkittykat:** lol totally likely

**golden:** jane told her not to tell anyone in case it'll upset them*

**magswguitarbags:** HAHAHAHAH

**thebetteranne:** CATHERINE WAT HAPPENED TO OUR CHAT

**mariavonthedrums:** oooh what chat?

**golden:** nothing

**rockyroad:** wat chat?

**coffeegivesmelife:** nothing

**kitkatkittykat:** cathy wat chat?

**coffeegivesmelife:**. . .

**thebetteranne:** BITCH DONT U DARE GIVE IN

**coffeegivesmelife:** simp therapy chat™

**bbbbessssiieeee:** LSKHGOWEH

**makesomeloveforjoan:** ofc

**iguessimtheirmom:** aw thx love ;)

**magswguitarbags:** WINKY FACES R A NO NO

**rockyroad:** this is my no no square

**kitkatkittykat:** ROCKY WTF SHUT UP

(about a minute has passed)

**beheadedbitch:** r yall done?

**mariavonthedrums:** did u need smthn?

**mariavonthedrums:** i'm not giving u anymore money

**maudthemom:** ditto

**coffeegivesmelife:** mama ur cool and ily but wtf?

**maudthemom:** cathy

**coffeegivesmelife:** srry mama

**bbbbessssiieeee:** so is cath just a natural bottom or....

**makesomeloveforjoan:** BESSIE

**golden:** she's just scared of maud

**golden:** like u all should be

**beheadedbitch:** CAN WE GET BACK ON TRACK?

**magswguitarbags:** wtf do u need?

**rockyroad:** TELL MEEE WAT U NEED

**kitkatkittykat:** THAT IS MY SONG

**rockyroad:** its a good song

**kitkatkittykat:** :)

**beheadedbitch:** G U Y S

**beheadedbitch:** >:(

**iguessimtheirmom:** girls i think we shoudl listen to anne before catherine gets upset

**coffeegivesmelife:** shoudl

**beheadedbitch:** C A T H

**coffeegivesmelife:** srry

**beheadedbitch:** anyway so its holiday season

**beheadedbitch:** NO ONE BETTER FUCKING INTERRUPT ME

**beheadedbitch:** so i have this idea

**mariavonthedrums:** oh god

**makesomeloveforjoan:** what now?

**coffeegivesmelife:** uhhh

**iguessimtheirmom:** anne....

**beheadedbitch:**. . .

**beheadedbitch:** i know where u live so u better watch ur backs

**golden:** anne.....

**beheadedbitch:** lemme have this

**beheadedbitch:** plsssss

**golden:** n o

**beheadedbitch:** fine

**thebetteranne:** SHES DONE IT SHES NOT SIMPING

**rockyroad:** wgkhwovwih

**kitkatkittykat:** rocky and i r just gonna sit back and enjoy this

**beheadedbitch:** no more

**beheadedbitch:** come on, its a game!

**bbbbessssiieeee:** GAME! I WILL WIN

**magswguitarbags:** no me!

**beheadedbitch:** lemme explain

**beheadedbitch:** and no references for once

**rockyroad:** damn ok

**maudthemom:** rocky hush

**rockyroad:** srry

**coffeegivesmelife:** SEE ROCKY'S AFRAID OF MAMA TOOOO

**makesomeloveforjoan:** (cath maybe u should stop interrupting anne before she rams down your door)

**coffeegivesmelife:** no im in anna's room, it'd still be her door

**thebetteranne:** WTF R U DOING IN MY ROOM??

**beheadedbitch:** CAN I JUST-

**beheadedbitch:** TALK

**golden:** guys let her talk

**coffeegivesmelife:** and we're back to simping

**iguessimtheirmom:** CATH

**mariavonthedrums:** CATH

**maudthemom:** CATHERINE PARR

**coffeegivesmelife:** OK I'M SRRY I'LL STOPPP

**beheadedbitch:** t h a n k y o u

**beheadedbitch:** so

**beheadedbitch:** were gonna put a santa hat on one of the top corners of the tv

**beheadedbitch:** and watch some movies

**beheadedbitch:** whenever someone wears it

**beheadedbitch:** take a shot

**bbbbessssiieeee:** OH IM GONNA FUCKING WIN FOR SURE

**rockyroad:** guess im dd

**makesomeloveforjoan:** we live in the same house

**rockyroad:** shush i hate drinking

**kitkatkittykat:** rocky y u betray meeeeee?

**rockyroad:** u only like it bc it makes u feel like ur not the youngest

**kitkatkittykat:** :(

**coffeegivesmelife:** don't

**coffeegivesmelife:** u dare

**coffeegivesmelife:** make

**coffeegivesmelife:** my kitten

**coffeegivesmelife:** sad

**rockyroad:** god fine

**magswguitarbags:** ya know when yall started dating it was all sweet and fluffy

**magswguitarbags:** but now all we talk about it them simping over the cousins

**bbbbessssiieeee:** lol truuuuu

**makesomeloveforjoan:** not to be rude, but yea

**mariavonthedrums:** agreed

**thebetteranne** **:** rude

**rockyroad:** WHEN MY SON WAS NEWLY BORN

**rockyroad:** I DIED

**rockyroad:** actually no, i died of laughter this chat is fucking hilarious

**kitkatkittykat:** R T

**beheadedbitch:** so we doing it or not?

**bbbbessssiieeee:** YES

**bbbbessssiieeee:** AND NO I DO NOT TAKE CRITICISM

**mariavonthedrums:** f in the chat for jane and joan

**kitkatkittykat:** f

**golden:** f

**beheadedbitch:** f

**magswguitarbags:** f

**bbbbessssiieeee:** f

**thebetteranne:** f

**coffeegivesmelife:** f

**maudthemom:** f

**rockyroad:** f

**iguessimtheirmom:** may i ask y?

**coffeegivesmelife:** no bc it'd ruin the fun

**makesomeloveforjoan:** meanies

**rockyroad:** joan??

**rockyroad:** calling us meanies??

**thebetteranne:** luv it

**beheadedbitch:** OK LETS START NOW

**beheadedbitch:** (for u weaklings, feel free to switch to that sparkling grape juice stuff)

**rockyroad:** im not weak but thx

* * *

the following is some scenes, texting and not that occurred during the playing of this game

author does not encourage this behavior

at. all.

* * *

**rockyroad** **:** our first movie is done, who's drunk?

**kitkatkittykat:** noooioooiiot meereeeeeere

**rockyroad:** yea not buying that

**magswguitarbags:** wait kat wtf weve only needed three shots how tf r u drunk already

**coffeegivesmelife:** she's a lightweight

**kitkatkittykat:** yiure akufhtwirghy

**bbbbessssiieeee:** ok wtf?

**beheadedbitch:** even i cant understand that

**maudthemom:** cath, help them out

**coffeegivesmelife:** "you're a lightweight"

**mariavonthedrums** **:** how did u get that??

**coffeegivesmelife:** i understood what anne squared was saying when they PURPOSELY fucking with their spelling

**thebetteranne:** how do u fuck speeling?

**rockyroad:** speeling lol

**iguessimtheirmom:** anna's a bit tipsy

**bbbbessssiieeee:** how??

**golden:** anne challenged her to take two each time

**golden:** i'm surprised anne isn't the same

**beheadedbitch:** ive got that heart of stone

**golden:** nvm

**magswguitarbags:** lol

* * *

anne: hey anna let's shove a fork into the outlet!

anna: the plastic or the metal?

anne: metal. duh!

catherine+jane: *sprints into kitchen*

catherine+jane: N O ! !

kat: i'm joining you!

cath: *pulls kat back*

cath: no you're not.

* * *

rocky: *hiding behind couch*

rocky: thx for switching to juice with me

_something thuds against the couch_

maud: *hiding with rocky*

maud: of course.

maggie: REVOLUTION!

bessie: DOWN WITH THE MONARCHY!

joan: *slides down to hide*

joan: i come out of the bathroom and they're throwing ketchup at each other?

maria: NEVER! TAKE THIS YOU FUCKING REBELS!

rocky: i have no id-

_a pan falls_

maud: ....and now they've thrown the cake

* * *

**rockyroad:** SOMEONE HELP

**coffeegivesmelife:** WE HAVE OUR OWN PROBLEMS

**golden:** PARR GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE ANNA HAS BROUGHT OUT THE BANANAS

**maudthemom:** again???

**thebetteranne:** YAE CAHT GET OVRE HRER MR BANANAAN WANST TO BE UR FREIND

**coffeegivesmelife:** NOT A CHANCE KITTY AND I R HEADING OVER TO THE LADIES HOUSE

**makesomeloveforjoan:** i'd advise againts taht

**magswguitarbags:** DNOT RIUN UOR REVILUTOIN

**bbbbessssiieeee:** WEEV AKMOTS OVRETHORWN TEH KIGN

**mariavonthedrums:** U MAEN QEUEN KIGNS CNA GO DIE IN AHLOE

**rockyroad:** i luv that even tho theyre drunk and making typos they can still understand every fucking word

**maudthemom:** rocky

**rockyroad:** single

**bbbbessssiieeee:** IM NTO SIGNLE MY GF IS HLEPIGN ME W ZE RECOLUTOIN

**golden:** wait WHAT?

**iguessimtheirmom:** WHAT IS HAPPENING??

**coffeegivesmelife:** IDKKKKK

**makesomeloveforjoan:** y did we agreeee to tihs?

**rockyroad:** bc bessie wouldnt take any fucking criticism

**maudthemom:** rocky

**rockyroad:** IVE VENTING OUR HOUSE IS IN CHAOS!

**iguessimtheirmom:** CAHTERINE IS FIHGTIGN ANEN SQIRED W TEH METRE STOKCS

**makesomeloveforjoan:** y do you have metre stkcs in ur kithcrn?

**coffeegivesmelife:** bc it's closest to the garden but SOMEONE FUCKING HELP

**rockyroad:** NO HELP US

**kitkatkittykat:** CATHY SAVE ME FROM THE HIPPO

**coffeegivesmelife:** WAIT WTF WHERE TF DID U GO??

**maudthemom:** cath take care of your wife

**mariavonthedrums:** wiat wohs teh hippoo

**rockyroad:** catherine

**coffeegivesmelife:** correct

**coffeegivesmelife:** QUEENS WHERE THE FUCK DID U GO???

**makesomeloveforjoan:** rocky how in the world did u come to that?

**rockyroad:** i will never say

**rockyroad:** also yay ur sobering up

**maudthemom:** this is going to be one hell of a cleanup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried but i feel like i failed
> 
> anyway hope this made u laugh! i should go do my schoolwork now.....hehehehe
> 
> bye bye!


	30. the cleves angst no one asked for except someone did ask for it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymoose  
> I love this fic so much!!!! Would you be willing to incorporate some cleves angst? I never see that anywhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the actual angst was also suggested (meaning i asked) by Anonymoose!  
> i'll put their comment at the end notes so no spoilers :P

_janey sent a private message to annalove_

**janey:** love, are you alright?

**annalove:** yes, im fine, wats wrong?

**janey:** you're a bit jumpy today

**annalove:** its nothing

**janey:** are you sure?

**annalove:** yea

**annalove:** just one of those days

**janey:** ok if you say so

**janey:** i love you

**annalove:** luv u too <3

**annalove:** ill see u later

**janey:** <3

_iguessimtheirmom added kitkatkittykat, golden, coffeegivesmelife, and beheadedbitch into a group chat_

_iguessimtheirmom renamed the group chat 'something's bothering anna'_

**golden:** glad i wasn't the only one who noticed

**coffeegivesmelife:** she's extremely jumpy

**kitkatkittykat:** reminds me of me during/after a panic attack

**beheadedbitch:** i just havent seen her at all

**iguessimtheirmom:** it's not like she's avoiding us though, she's just being very cautious

**iguessimtheirmom:** she's also been at work a lot more than usual

**kitkatkittykat:** is it just work?

**kitkatkittykat:** whenever i ask she says shes visiting the theatre

**coffeegivesmelife:** shes unusually distant

**beheadedbitch:**.....

**beheadedbitch:** she hasnt become like me, has she?

**golden:** god forbid that she has depression, love

**kitkatkittykat:** but we can agree that shes on edge and smthns wrong right?

**iguessimtheirmom:** yes

**beheadedbitch:** yea

**golden:** yes

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok i have an idea

**iguessimtheirmom:** thank you cath

**kitkatkittykat:** thank goodness

**coffeegivesmelife:** but catherine has to do it

**beheadedbitch:** wait wat?

**golden:** why me?

**coffeegivesmelife:** bc

**golden:** bc what cath?

**coffeegivesmelife:** srry got cut off

**beheadedbitch:** ur texting

**coffeegivesmelife:** yea kitty came up and pounced from behind

**coffeegivesmelife:** she made me click send

**iguessimtheirmom:**...

**iguessimtheirmom:** omg i think i know why anna's a bit jumpy now

**coffeegivesmelife:** u remember?

**iguessimtheirmom:** yes

**iguessimtheirmom:** catherine please go talk to her

**golden:** i don't even know what you girls r talking about!!

**kitkatkittykat:** yea pls explain

**beheadedbitch:** not all of us have telepathy

**coffeegivesmelife:** u and kitty (and occasionally jane) have telepathy

**beheadedbitch:** cousin powers, theres a difference

**golden:** not understanding but can we pls get back on track?

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok do u remember y henry REALLY divorced anna?

**beheadedbitch:** u mean h*nry

**beheadedbitch:** and yea

**kitkatkittykat:** uh huh

**coffeegivesmelife:** so when the piece of shit sneaked up on her, she lashed out and kinda punched him in the nose

**beheadedbitch:** stan

**golden:** i think i'm understanding now

**coffeegivesmelife:** yea?

**golden:** yea

**kitkatkittykat:** no

**iguessimtheirmom:** kat, i think she feels guilty because she thinks if she didn't lash out, you wouldn't have gotten beheaded

**kitkatkittykat:**...

**kitkatkittykat:** WTF THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS

**kitkatkittykat:** lemme go talk to her

**coffeegivesmelife:** kitty ik u dont want her to feel that way but let catherine handle this

**kitkatkittykat:** y?

**coffeegivesmelife:** bc she got divorced before anne, and anne got beheaded

**beheadedbitch:**...lina u rlly feel that way?

**golden:** there r days, yes

**beheadedbitch:**.....pls dont feel that way

**beheadedbitch:** i deserved it

**golden:** no u didn't

**golden:** do u need me to come over before i go talk to anna?

**beheadedbitch:** no, mum and kat r here

**beheadedbitch:** or, i see them in the parking lot

**coffeegivesmelife:** catherine do u know where anna is?

**golden:** i think i'll just do it over text so she doesn't feel a bit overwhelmed

**coffeegivesmelife:** alright, good luck

_cathereina sent a private message to Königanna_

**cathereina:** hi

**Königanna:** im fine, cathereina

**Königanna:** y did we put our names as this?

**Königanna:** the puns r so bad

**cathereina:** idk but you're clearly not fine

**Königanna:** yes i am

**cathereina:** denying it won't help

**cathereina:** the six of us have lived together for a long time, we'll notice if something's off

**cathereina:** and we just want to make sure it's not like

**cathereina:** you know

**Königanna:** oh FUCK NO

**Königanna:** ITS DEFINITELY NOT THAT

**cathereina:** but it's something

**Königanna:** shit...

**Königanna:** yea

**cathereina:** and blaming yourself isn't going to help

**Königanna:** wat? how did u-

**Königanna:** oh cath

**cathereina:** maybe

**Königanna:** ok u know weve talked bout this before

**Königanna:** i got divorced bc of smthn i can control

**Königanna:** shithead divorced u cuz u couldnt bear a son

**cathereina:** i know that but i also wasn't the most...

**cathereina:** how shall i say...

**cathereina:** quiet? submissive?

**Königanna:** that may have played a role, but for the most part, u couldnt have done anything else

**Königanna:** i didnt have to punch his fucking nose

**Königanna:** i couldve just let it happen

**cathereina:** that wouldn't change anything

**Königanna:** but it couldve!

**Königanna:** he wouldnt have this terrible first impression and wanted to divorce me

**cathereina:** he also divorced you bc of politics and some war with germany

**Königanna:** but that was minor

**cathereina:** so?

**Königanna:** and then when i did get divorced, i partied it up in richmond like i didnt care that KAT was married to him

**cathereina:** first off, u did care because u bothered to visit her

**cathereina:** i didn't for anne

**cathereina:** second, knowing that piece of shit, he probably would've found some other way, or some other person

**Königanna:** see, then it wouldnt be kat

**cathereina:** then she wouldn't be HERE

**cathereina:** it'd be some other random queen

**cathereina:** heck, cath might not even be here

**Königanna:**....oh

**cathereina:** u can't DO anything about it

**Königanna:** but it wont stop me from feeling BAD

**cathereina:** and i KNOW that first hand

**Königanna:** but u h a t e d anne then

**cathereina:** that doesn't mean i still didn't feel bad

**cathereina:** i knew how he could get

**Königanna:**...

**cathereina:** why did you start thinking of this in the first place?

**Königanna:**.....

**Königanna:** sigh

**Königanna:** theres a group of coworker from another section who had to join us today

**cathereina:** and?

**cathereina:** not to intrude, but usually you're the more friendly type

**Königanna:** AND I AM

**Königanna:** but they kept scaring and approaching and touching me from b e h i n d

**Königanna:** and....

**Königanna:** it just kept bringing me back to that

**Königanna:** and the following events....

**cathereina:** i'm sure you've asked them to stop?

**Königanna:** YES i DID bc i have BOUNDARIES

**Königanna:** but ughhhhhh

**Königanna:** i h a t e shithead related trauma

**cathereina:** we all do

**cathereina:** and you haven't told us about this before

**Königanna:** thats cuz its not a big deal

**cathereina:** that's what jane said

**cathereina:** and anne

**cathereina:** and kat

**Königanna:** i g e t i t

**cathereina:** i'm just saying since we've approached you like that before

**cathereina:** none of us want to make u uncomfortable

**Königanna:** thx

**cathereina:** but how come you keep working overtime?

**Königanna:** oh that

**Königanna:** im not actually working, im hanging out in this one place i found

**cathereina:** okay....

**Königanna:** ITS A PUBLIC PARK DONT WORRY

**cathereina:** THANK GOD 

(a few seconds) 

**Königanna:** for the record, i dont think the guilts leaving anytime soon

**cathereina:** heh we'll just work on that together

**Königanna:**....did u just say heh?

**cathereina:** yea, why?

**Königanna:** its not-

**Königanna:** nvm

**cathereina:** anna..

**Königanna:** ITS NOT HENRY RELATED

**Königanna:** SEE I ACTUALLY SAID HIS NAME

**cathereina:** i know, i'm just joking

**Königanna:** u little bitch

**Königanna:** u can be such a fuking monster over text

**cathereina:** :)

**cathereina:** u feeling better?

**Königanna:** not great, but better

**Königanna:** thx divorced queen

**cathereina:** shut up

**Königanna:** :P

_thebetteranne sent a message to 'simping for the cousins'_

**thebetteranne:** sup bitches im feelin better

**coffeegivesmelife:** good cuz i don't think i could've held kitten back any longer

**golden:**....wdym?

**beheadedbitch:** KAT WAS ABOUT TO GO BULL

**thebetteranne:** @kitkatkittykat WTF KAT IM NOT EVEN IN MY ROOM

**kitkatkittykat:** who said it was gonna be UR door?

**thebetteranne:** bc everytime u and/or cath goes bull, u run into MY FUCKING DOOR

**thebetteranne:** like how do u even manage to break that??

**kitkatkittykat:** uhh

**coffeegivesmelife:** tbh idek

**iguessimtheirmom:** OH ANNA I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE OKAY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE NEVER FORGET THAT AND THE OTHER QUEENS LOVE YOU TOO WHERE ARE YOU I NEED TO GO OVER THERE AND GIVE MY WIFE THE APPRECIATION SHE DESERVES

**thebetteranne:** just meet me at the park closest to the theatre <3

**iguessimtheirmom:** ok i'm omw <3

**kitkatkittykat:** CLEVEMOUR CONTENT

**golden:** do u have to say it every single time?

**kitkatkittykat:** yes bc we r in s e r i o u s lack

**kitkatkittykat:** so C L E V E M O U R C O N T E N T 

**coffeegivesmelife:** anna i hope ur not driving bc i just want to say we're rlly glad ur feeling better

**beheadedbitch:** rt

**kitkatkittykat:** rt

**golden:** what's rt?

**beheadedbitch:** i swear u used it before?

**golden:** idk

**thebetteranne:** it means retweet, so like u agree w a statement

**thebetteranne:** ya know, like on twitter

**golden:** oh right, makes sense

**thebetteranne:** and actually cath ur text was perfect timing, im about to start the car

**thebetteranne:** hey catherine, could u tell them wat while im off?

**thebetteranne:** (ik they kinda know wat happened, but no details pls?)

**golden:** sure

**thebetteranne:** thx

**kitkatkittykat:** tell us wat?

**golden:** basically some people at anna's job kept approaching/scaring her from behind

**golden:** and she was brought back to when h*nry dressed as a peasant and so on and so forth, i'm sure you know

**coffeegivesmelife:** that little bitch can suck it

**beheadedbitch:** hes already burning

**coffeegivesmelife:** am i wrong?

**golden:** anyway

**golden:** she said that she feels uncomfortable when people do that, so let's try not to do it anymore

**kitkatkittykat:** yes maam!

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok

**beheadedbitch:** can we still jumpscare her from the front?

**beheadedbitch:** cuz she and i do that all the time

**golden:** you'll have to ask her, but i think u should be good

**kitkatkittykat:** wait HOLD ON

**kitkatkittykat:** if anna took the car then mum wouldve taken the bus right?

**coffeegivesmelife:** yea? 

**kitkatkittykat:** y isnt she answering??

**thebetteranne:** its all cool shes w me

**beheadedbitch:** thank god i was bout to knock down ur door

**thebetteranne:** u dont have parrwards powers

**thebetteranne:** also Y M Y DOOR??

**golden:** apparently, you're just a target

**thebetteranne:** damn ok

**thebetteranne:** anyway, thx for caring queens

**thebetteranne:** im gonna go spend time w my wife now

**kitkatkittykat:** CLEVEMOUR CONTENT

**coffeegivesmelife:** that's barely content

**kitkatkittykat:** hush

**beheadedbitch:** and hte simp hushes

**coffeegivesmelife:** hte

**beheadedbitch:** stfu

**golden:** maybe we should stop texting here so clevemour's phones don't keep dinging

**iguessimtheirmom:** much appreciated, thank you

**kitkatkittykat:** okie bye bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's what Anonymoose said:  
> I have this headcanon that Anna hates being touched or approached from behind. When H*nry snuck up on her dressed as a peasant, she lashed out. She feels like if she hadn't done that, H*nry wouldn't have divorced her and Kitty wouldn't have been beheaded.
> 
> i feel like i didn't do you justice.....so im sorry
> 
> i have one more chapter planned out, so be on the lookout!


	31. the simp chat™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsuo_1  
> THE SIMP CHAT!!! THE SIMP CHAT!!! I LOVE IT!!
> 
> AND
> 
> alexandria the great  
> Well now we need to see the simp chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had this planned before alexandria's comment, but it got delayed bc of the cleves angst request, but HERE U GO THE SIMP CHAT

_bluesimp sent a message to 'simp therapy chat™'_

**bluesimp:** hi hello kat is amazing and beautiful and i love her goodbye

**redsimp:** bitch get ur ass back here

**bluesimp:** no

**yellowsimp:** u clearly just did now vent

**bluesimp:** and have u girls bully me?

 **bluesimp:** no thx

**redsimp:** we didnt make this chat for nothing bitch

**bluesimp:** ok

 **bluesimp:** so i wake up, yea?

**yellowsimp:** what time?

**bluesimp:** not important

**redsimp:** it is, ur sleep schedule is wack

**bluesimp:** ANYWAY

 **bluesimp:** so there's flowers on the bed and flower petals leading out of the room

 **bluesimp:** so like anyone would do, i follow them

**redsimp:** wat if it was a trap?

**bluesimp:** You told me to vent.

**yellowsimp:** anna just let her

**redsimp:** alright, continue

**bluesimp:** so they lead to the dining table

 **bluesimp:** and kat walks into the room, clearly not expecting my presence, and holding a plate of COOKIES

**redsimp:** COOKIESSSS

 **redsimp:** were they fresh?

**bluesimp:** yea

**redsimp:** r there still more?

**bluesimp:** sure

**yellowsimp:** cath

**bluesimp:** define more

 **bluesimp:** bc there's exactly one for the rest of u

**redsimp:** ILL TAKE IT

 **redsimp:** anyway, continue ranting

**bluesimp:** ok so she sets the plate on the table and-

 **bluesimp:** does that absolutely adorable smile she does and runs up to hug me

 **bluesimp:** like svhwoegnwglksndl

 **bluesimp:** SHE'S JUST SO CUTEEEEE

**yellowsimp:** anna is this being whipped, or simp?

**redsimp:** either way, the three of us r both whipped and simps

**bluesimp:** i wouldn't go as far to say whipped

 **bluesimp:** bc that would mean total submission

**yellowsimp:** oh right nvm then

**redsimp:** u sure?

**yellowsimp:** anna you're the top

**redsimp:** oh right

**bluesimp:** THESE COUSINS AHHH

**yellowsimp:** ok anne is being so fucking cute right now

**redsimp:** THERAPY

 **redsimp:** TIME TO VENT

**yellowsimp:** u know how she is with cookies

**bluesimp:** i had the privilege of witnessing this araleyn moment

**redsimp:** t e l l m e

**yellowsimp:** she takes three cookies instead of just two

 **yellowsimp:** cuz i asked her to get me one

 **yellowsimp:** so when she comes back, she's holding one in her mouth

 **yellowsimp:** and the others she's holding in her hands

 **yellowsimp:** so when i told her to go put one back, she said

 **yellowsimp:** "but the extra one's for you because i love you and you deserve it"

**redsimp:** O M G

 **redsimp:** WAIT DONT EAT THAT THATS JANEYS

**yellowsimp:** i'm not, don't worry

**redsimp:** g o o d

**yellowsimp:** now she watching tv while CLINGING to my arm and-

 **yellowsimp:** it's so cute??

**bluesimp:** can confirm these actions

**redsimp:** thats adorable

 **redsimp:**....and now im realizing we sound like teenage girls gushing over their partners

**bluesimp:** we've become a band of simps can u blame us?

**redsimp:** tru tru

**yellowsimp:** anna you don't have anything?

**redsimp:** janeys at work

 **redsimp:** HOLD ON

**redsimp:** _[picture attached]_

**redsimp:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**bluesimp:** oh boy

**yellowsimp:** cath stay quiet

**bluesimp:** ik the drill

**redsimp:** KDSLGHWLKVWNDO

 **redsimp:** WEHIGLWVNLK

 **redsimp:** SHES SO CUTEEEE

 **redsimp:** AND HOTTT

 **redsimp:** AND AMAZINGGGGGGGG

 **redsimp:** WOIHVWNWOIGNEW

 **redsimp:** MCMVPWJEWOHGLKVN

 **redsimp:** WLDPMCQODIVNWDIP

 **redsimp:** PBMSKOWNG

(a few seconds)

**bluesimp:**....u good fam?

**redsimp:** yes

* * *

_magmaggie send a private message to catherinee_

**magmaggie:** hey catherine

**catherinee:** yea?

**magmaggie:** can u add me to that simp therapy chat?

**catherinee:**....why?

**magmaggie:** Please.

 **magmaggie:** :(

**catherinee:** alright give me a second

**magmaggie:** kk

* * *

_yellowsimp added magswguitarbags to 'simp therapy chat™'_

**bluesimp:** catherine wth?

**magswguitarbags:** nice names lol

 **magswguitarbags:** and tyyy catherine

**redsimp:** catherine y is she here?

 **redsimp:** no offense

**magswguitarbags:** none taken

**yellowsimp:** she asked

_redsimp changed magswguitarbags's user to newsimp?_

_newsimp? changed their user to newsimp_

**bluesimp:** oh?

**redsimp:** who is it?

**yellowsimp:** this better be real, or i'm kicking you off

**newsimp:** ok but this stays confidential

**bluesimp:** ok ok now spill

**newsimp:** its bessie

**redsimp:** XKNVOWR??

**yellowsimp:** so that slip up during the christmas game wasn't fake??

**newsimp:** wat slip up?

**bluesimp:** catherine bessie was the one who said that

 **bluesimp:** but also WTF???

**newsimp:** im gonna ignore that

**redsimp:** SINCE WHEN WERE U DATING BESSIE

**newsimp:** WERE NOT

**yellowsimp:** then why r you here

**newsimp:** BC SHES HOT AND IM GAY AND JUST AHHHHHHH

**bluesimp:** oh shit she's a pre simp

**redsimp:** turn back NOW

**newsimp:** I CANT IM IN TOO DEEP SHES TOO HOT AND FIT AND ALL THE THINGS

**yellowsimp:** it's too late for maggie

 **yellowsimp:** the most we can do now is give her therapy

**bluesimp:** alright lead simp

**yellowsimp:** take that back

**bluesimp:** no

**newsimp:** who even started this chat

**redsimp:** none of us remember, its been a while

**newsimp:** damn

 **newsimp:** also, I WANT A COLOR TOO

 **newsimp:** i can be green so its heathers

**bluesimp:** i'd advise against that bc green is anne's color

**newsimp:** but im annes liw

**redsimp:** lets just make up new names then

**yellowsimp:** girls i thought we were gonna give maggie therapy

**redsimp:** oh right, after then

**newsimp:** how does this work?

**bluesimp:** just vent 

**bluesimp:** none of this is planned

**newsimp:** ok

 **newsimp:** so basically bessie and i have a fwb relationship

 **newsimp:** and now i have feelings

 **newsimp:** and shes H O T 

**newsimp:** and im gay

 **newsimp:** and she suggested the title of fwb 

**newsimp:** NOT gfs

 **newsimp:** so here i am

**redsimp:** o u c h

**bluesimp:** oof

**yellowsimp:** i don't think we can help you there

**newsimp:** W H Y ?

**bluesimp:** it's a FWB

 **bluesimp:** the most advice i can give u

 **bluesimp:** is SUCK IT UP AND CONFESS

**redsimp:** wait someones calling me ill brb to help

* * *

[Transcript of Anna's phone call]

Anna: yello?

Bessie: hey anna

Anna: alright, what do ya want?

Bessie: rude

Anna: i'm not wrong tho, right?

Bessie: ...no

Anna: ok wassup?

Bessie: you know that simp therapy chat yall were talking about in the big group chat?

Anna: why the fuck do u want to know

Bessie: shut up. can you add me?

Anna: ooooooooh

Bessie: shut the fuck up

Anna: why tho?

Bessie: i'm not a simp, i just need a place to vent. and i'm not trusting the ladies right now

Anna: give me a minute and we'll see

Bessie: alright. thanks.

Anna: bye

Bessie: bye

* * *

**redsimp:** its bessie

**newsimp:** AHHHHHHHH

**redsimp:** she wants to be added

**newsimp:** DLVWNWOIN

**bluesimp:** PLAN

**yellowsimp:** ??

**bluesimp:** add her, and we'll see wat she wants

 **bluesimp:** but maggie don't say anything

**redsimp:** ah an exposure

 **redsimp:** like it

**yellowsimp:** well might as well take the opportunity

**newsimp:** IM SCARED

**redsimp:** lol y?

**newsimp:** U SHOULD KNOW UR ALSO SIMPING

 **newsimp:** BUT I M SIMPING OVER SOMEONE WHOS N O T MY GF/WIFE

**bluesimp:** just calm down and shut up

**redsimp:** ok adding her

**yellowsimp:** act like maggie isn't here

**bluesimp:** got it

**redsimp:** yup

**newsimp:** IM SCARED

**redsimp:** ignore ze fear and youll be fine

**bluesimp:** anna STFU

**redsimp:** ok shes added wait for the notif

_redsimp added bbbbessssiieeee to 'simp therapy chat™'_

**bbbbessssiieeee:** oh yall werent kidding

**bluesimp:** wtf do u want?

**bbbbessssiieeee:** to vent

**yellowsimp:** u don't take as the simp type

**bbbbessssiieeee:** neither do u but here we r

**redsimp:** bessie i added u now spill

**bbbbessssiieeee:** ok ok

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** im not a simp, i need somewhere to vent

**bluesimp:** wat about the ladies??

**bbbbessssiieeee:** not trusting them rn

**yellowsimp:** okay...

**bbbbessssiieeee:** i need yall to swear on not telling anyone

**bluesimp:** fine

**redsimp:** k

**yellowsimp:** just tell us

**bbbbessssiieeee:** OKAY

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** im kinda sorta maybe in love w maggie but

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** were in a fwb so im scared

**bluesimp:** omfg

**redsimp:** called it

**yellowsimp:** well that was easy

**bbbbessssiieeee:**??

**newsimp:** WAIT WHAT?????

**bbbbessssiieeee:**????

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** WHO R U

**newsimp:** MAGGIE

**bbbbessssiieeee:** vneoignwrgklwn

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** WTF 

**bbbbessssiieeee:** SHIT

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** WAIT 

**bbbbessssiieeee:** Y R U HERE??

**newsimp:** R U TELLING THE TRUTH??

**bbbbessssiieeee:** uhhh yea??

**newsimp:** WTF GET OVER HERE

**bbbbessssiieeee:** why??

**newsimp:** BC I FUCKING LOVE AND I WANT TO DATE U AND BE UR GF NOW GET UR ASS OVER HERE

 **newsimp:** pls

**bluesimp:** the little pls at the end lol

**bbbbessssiieeee:** oh shit u guys r still here

**redsimp:** uhh yea

**yellowsimp:** it's OUR chat sooo

**bbbbessssiieeee:** pls dont tell anyone

**redsimp:** no worries but dont come to us if anyones betting on u

**newsimp:** R WE THAT OBVIOUS?

**yellowsimp:** i mean, bessie did say "i'm not single my gf is helping me" and so on

**bbbbessssiieeee:** since when??

**bluesimp:** the christmas drinking game lol

**bbbbessssiieeee:** oh shit

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** wait

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** if maggie was here first....

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** MAGGIE WERE U SIMPING ALL THIS TIME???

**newsimp:** lkvnoid

**redsimp:** oblivious!bessie

**bluesimp:** simp!maggie

**newsimp:** oh shut up

**yellowsimp:** i might just hang this over your heads

**bluesimp:** if she doesn't, i will

**redsimp:** same here

**bbbbessssiieeee:** ok well maggie im omw

 **bbbbessssiieeee:** and since im not a simp, i will leave and leave u simps to it

_bbbbessssiieeee left the group chat_

**newsimp:** XCVJKLWNOWN SHE LIKES ME BACKKKKKKK

**bluesimp:** and now ur an official simp

**redsimp:** welcome to the club

**newsimp:** how come u embrace ur simping here but nowhere else

**yellowsimp:** it's a safe space

**newsimp:** lol

**redsimp:** now the names

**newsimp:** idea

_newsimp changed multiple user names_

**blueberrysimp:** works w me

**strawberrysimp:** this reminds me too much of the other chat

_strawberrysimp changed their user to cherrysimp_

**pineapplesimp:** must i always be a pineapple?

**mangosimp:** yea

 **mangosimp:** anyway tysm guys!!!

 **mangosimp:** bessies here so imma go

**blueberrysimp:** aight cya

**strawberrysimp:** ze pleasure has been ours in ze haus of holbein

**blueberrysimp:** N O

**pineapplesimp:** cath be honest, it works

 **pineapplesimp:** especially since it's from the tinder scene

**blueberrysimp:** ughhhhhhhhh

 **blueberrysimp:** fine

* * *

_rockyroad sent a message to 'and then there were 12'_

**rockyroad:** DOES SOMEONE WANT TO TELL ME Y I WALKED IN ON MAGGIE AND BESSIE MAKING OUT??

**beheadedbitch:** i thought they were fwb chill

**maudthemom:** someone explain what fwb is?

**makesomeloveforjoan:** same here

**kitkatkittykat:** friends w benefits

**mariavonthedrums:** benefits meaning sex

**iguessimtheirmom:** people do that?

**magswguitarbags:** x///x

^

**rockyroad:** ok nice drawing but still wtf??

**beheadedbitch:** @golden @thebetteranne @coffeegivesmelife @bbbbessssiieeee ur quiet

**coffeegivesmelife:** ripppp @rockyroad

**kitkatkittykat:** do u know smthn?

* * *

_blueberrysimp sent a message to 'simp therapy chat™'_

**blueberrysimp:** H E L P

**cherrysimp:** DONT GIVE IN

**pineapplesimp:** just say no

**mangosimp:** cath pls dont expose us yet

 **mangosimp:** bessies gonna handle it just dont say anything shell be on in a sec

**blueberrysimp:** I WILL T R Y

* * *

_coffeegivesmelife sent a message to 'and then there were 12'_

**coffeegivesmelife:** no

**kitkatkittykat:** cathyyyyy

**beheadedbitch:** lina do u know anything?

* * *

_pineapplesimp sent a message to 'simp therapy chat™'_

**pineapplesimp:** help

**blueberrysimp:** hippogriff

**pineapplesimp:** shut up

**mangosimp:** oh dear wat happened to the great catherine of aragon?

**pineapplesimp:** i will expose u

**mangosimp:** NO BESSIES ALMOST ON IM SRRY PLS DONT EXPOSE US

**cherrysimp:** shes taking a while

**mangosimp:** her phone died and its charging

**cherrysimp:** sureeeee

**mangosimp:** ITS TRU

**blueberrysimp:** SOMEONE SAY SMTHN IN THE BIG CHAT OR WELL BE MORE SUS

* * *

_golden sent a message to 'and then there were 12'_

**golden:** no

**bbbbessssiieeee:** WTF IS GOING ON?

**rockyroad:** u

 **rockyroad:** and maggie

 **rockyroad:** making out

 **rockyroad:** WTF???

**bbbbessssiieeee:** well SRRY if i didnt want to tell yall right away

**kitkatkittykat:** U WERENT KIDDING WHEN U SLIPPED UP DURING THE CHRISTMAS GAME

**bbbbessssiieeee:** WHAT THE FUCK HOW COME EVERYONE REMEMBERS EXCEPT ME??

**kitkatkittykat:** i dont i just scrolled up when i got sober

**bbbbessssiieeee:** but also, no weve only been officially together for a month

**makesomeloveforjoan:** what?

**bbbbessssiieeee:** anne wasnt kidding w the fwb thing

**beheadedbitch:** DUDE I WAS JOKING R U SERIOUS???

**magswguitarbags:** lkfxbnoifn

**maudthemom:** so what was the slip up for?

**magswguitarbags:** we were still pining

**bbbbessssiieeee:** MAGGIE

**magswguitarbags:** SORRY

**rockyroad:** @kitkatkittykat LOOK AT US RICH KIDS

**kitkatkittykat:** YEA BOI

**thebetteranne:** did u bet on them??

**rockyroad:** yea we got 200 richer!

**kitkatkittykat:** thats total, we each get 100

**bbbbessssiieeee:** wtf man

**iguessimtheirmom:** wait @golden @thebetteranne @coffeegivesmelife how come you didn't bet?

**golden:** we didn't know

**beheadedbitch:** im calling bullshit wats the REAL reason

* * *

_cherrysimp sent a message to 'simp therapy chat™'_

**cherrysimp:** dont even bother trying to text here

 **cherrysimp:** ur on ur own

**mangosimp:** this is wat our life is like now

**blueberrysimp:** rip

**pineapplesimp:** fuck u

**mangosimp:** thats breaking simp rules

**pineapplesimp:** ok then SHUT UP

* * *

_golden sent a message to 'and then there were 12'_

**golden:** i'm serious

**beheadedbitch:** no not buying it

**iguessimtheirmom:** anna?

(a few seconds)

**rockyroad:** watch her give in

**mariavonthedrums:** i'm calling it

**makesomeloveforjoan:** not to be rude, but i wouldn't be surprised

**maudthemom:** same here

**thebetteranne:** we witnessed their confession and it was great

**kitkatkittykat:** and there it is

**coffeegivesmelife:** ANNA

 **coffeegivesmelife:** not only r u a major hippogriff

 **coffeegivesmelife:** but ur also weak as fuck

**beheadedbitch:** STOP IT IT WAS ONE TIME

 **beheadedbitch:** O N E TIME

**golden:** cath stop it

**magswguitarbags:** lol ur not any better

**thebetteranne:** neither r all of yall

**bbbbessssiieeee:** who is "yall" because i highly think that it only applies to the simps of this chat

**coffeegivesmelife:** SHUT UP

**golden:** SHUT UP

**magswguitarbags:** SHUT UP

**thebetteranne:** SHUT UP

**maudthemom:** well at least anna isn't denying it anymore

**thebetteranne:** dlkbnvo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heY dO u GuYs LikE iT ?  
> it turned out wayyyyy longer than i thought itd be lol
> 
> again feeling like i failed but whatever


	32. kat and rocky: the vine queens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> insanity_times_ten (not a comment, but in a conversation lol)  
> idea for six queens in one chat: vines  
> bonus points if kat and rocky are like incredibly drunk but the other queens turn it into a drinking game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am not that educated in vines, so i apologize

_kitkatkittykat sent a message to 'and then there were 12'_

**kitkatkittykat:** HI WELCOME TO CHILIS

**iguessimtheirmom:** what?

**makesomeloveforjoan:** huh?

**bbbbessssiieeee:** stfu

**rockyroad:** DONT FUCK W ME

 **rockyroad:** I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE

**beheadedbitch:** we get it ur the vine queens now pls stop rubbing it in

**golden:** anne? u know what's happening?

**beheadedbitch:** they were yelling at me bout it yesterday so...

**magswguitarbags:** bessie come backkkkkkkk

**bbbbessssiieeee:** IM GETTING WATER BE PATIENT

**rockyroad:** MR SANDMAN

 **rockyroad:** BRING ME A DREAM

**makesomeloveforjoan:** i don't understand

**iguessimtheirmom:** neither do i

**maudthemom:** same here

**golden:** with you on that

**coffeegivesmelife:** OK DON'T GET MAD

**mariavonthedrums:** i already am and i have no idea what you just did

**kitkatkittykat:** REBECCA ITS NOT WAT U THINK

**coffeegivesmelife:** they may or may not be drunk

**iguessimtheirmom:** CATH

**maudthemom:** CATH

**golden:** WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS

**coffeegivesmelife:** IM NOT DRUNK THIS TIME

**rockyroad:** say smthn im giving up on YOUUUUUU

**kitkatkittykat:** *BEAT DROPS*

**thebetteranne:** y tf r they quoting vines??

**kitkatkittykat:** U GOT THIS TRAVIS

**iguessimtheirmom:** who is travis?

 **iguessimtheirmom:** i don't understand

**rockyroad:** MAKE EM WAIT FOR IT

**beheadedbitch:** WE GET IT STFU

**magswguitarbags:** cath

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok so i stole some of catherine's stuff

 **coffeegivesmelife:** and essentially dared them to drink all of it

**rockyroad:** BOOM.

**maudthemom:** rocky doesn't like drinking tho?

**coffeegivesmelife:** i may or may not have also stolen some money to give to her if she did it.....

**golden:** you did WHAT

**coffeegivesmelife:** I'M SORRY

**kitkatkittykat:** *INTENSE NARUTO RUN*

**thebetteranne:** kat NO

**makesomeloveforjoan:** i don't get it

**maudthemom:** me neither

**kitkatkittykat:** I WONT HESITATE BITCH

**iguessimtheirmom:** WHAT IS GOING ON?

**thebetteranne:** rocky and kat r speaking in vines

**makesomeloveforjoan:** huh?

**golden:** what are vines?

**thebetteranne:** and the others r now drinking shots whenever yall dont understand

****magswguitarbags** : **SIMP

**bbbbessssiieeee:** maggie

**magswguitarbags:** im srry

**bbbbessssiieeee:** ily

**magswguitarbags:** ilyt

**rockyroad:** LOOK AT ALL THOSE CHICKENS

**thebetteranne:** whos the simp now?

**beheadedbitch:** yall

**rockyroad:** hurricane katrina?

 **rockyroad:** MORE LIKE HURRICANE TORTILLA

**maudthemom:** i don't get it

 **maudthemom:** plus, if they're drunk, why aren't they making typos or anything?

 **maudthemom:** it's like they're cath

**kitkatkittykat:** MIND UR OWN BUSINESS DAVID

**golden:** WHO IS DAVID

**iguessimtheirmom:** KAT ARE YO UOKAY?

**beheadedbitch:** mmu its fien its jsut a vid

**makesomeloveforjoan:** anne are you okay?

**golden:** bo where are you i need to make sure ur safe

**coffeegivesmelife:** @golden she's in the house and safe, i'm not participating in the drinking and/or shots

 **coffeegivesmelife:** @maudthemom i'm just guessing it's another drunk mode where they only speak in vines

**kitkatkittykat:** u better watch out

**rockyroad:** u better watch out!

**kitkatkittykat:** U BETTER WATCH OUT

**rockyroad:** U BETTER WATCH OUT!!!!

**makesomeloveforjoan:** why r they repeating themselves?

**coffeegivesmelife:** omg i might need help this is chaos

**rockyroad:** WELCOME TO BIBLE STUFY WERE ALL CHILDREN OF JESUS

**maudthemom:** i'm concerned

 **maudthemom:** and it adds up that the others are also drinking

**makesomeloveforjoan:** let's just hope no one throws a cake again

**kitkatkittykat:** WAT THE FUCK RICHARD?

**iguessimtheirmom:** WHO'S RICHARD???

**golden:** K A T

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok i actually need help now

**rockyroad:** well when life gives u lemons

**kitkatkittykat:** go back to sleep

 **kitkatkittykat:** AND STARVE

(a bit later bc i have no clue wtf im doing)

**rockyroad:** FRE SHA VA CADO

**makesomeloveforjoan:** what's with the spacing?

**iguessimtheirmom:** is this a reference, or is she just still drunk?

**golden:** anyone sane want to tell me what they want for dinner?

**kitkatkittykat:** THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT

**golden:** WHAT

**rockyroad:** A BAGEL

**golden:** no

**rockyroad:** I DONT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR CHICKEN NUGGETS

**makesomeloveforjoan:** rocky u have the most money because u keep making correct bets

**rockyroad:** IM JOHN CENA

**coffeegivesmelife:** i should've left catherine's stuff alone

**golden:** you think?

**kitkatkittykat:** BUTCHA DIDNT

**iguessimtheirmom:** girls i think we should leave cath alone, i'm sure this is punishment enough

**kitkatkittykat:** HOW DO U KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR ME

**rockyroad:** THATS MY OPINIOOOOOOOOON

**maudthemom:** oh i actually know that one

**coffeegivesmelife:** wHAT

**makesomeloveforjoan:** can u explain pls?

**golden:** yea, pls do

**maudthemom:** i don't think i can,, sorry

(a loud thud at the ladies's house)

**makesomeloveforjoan:** WHAT WAS THAT

**rockyroad:** HIT OR MISS

**kitkatkittykat:** I GUESS THEY NEVER MISS HUH?

**iguessimtheirmom:** oh isn't that from tiktok,

 **iguessimtheirmom:** but before it became tiktok

**beheadedbitch:** iM SRYR WAT

**bbbbessssiieeee:** WTA

**magswguitarbags:** OFMG

**thebetteranne:** WAT

**golden:** wtf is going on?

**coffeegivesmelife:** jane.

**iguessimtheirmom:** yes?

**coffeegivesmelife:** DO U HAVE A TIKTOK????

**rockyroad:** AA

 **rockyroad:** AAA

 **rockyroad:** AAAAAAAAA

**iguessimtheirmom:**.....yes?

**kitkatkittykat:** *flying lawn motor*

**makesomeloveforjoan:** i am concerned and confused on multiple levels

**maudthemom:** me too, but the real question is

 **maudthemom:** cath, and others, can we come over?

**golden:** why?

**makesomeloveforjoan:** ohhh i hear it too

 **makesomeloveforjoan:** strings in waiting is about to

 **makesomeloveforjoan:** *ahem*

**golden:** oh

**coffeegivesmelife:** our house won't be any better,

 **coffeegivesmelife:** but kitten is starting to sober up, so we can go to the park or something?

**maudthemom:** i'm going to assume "we" means you, me, kat, joan, and a sobering rocky?

**coffeegivesmelife:** not maria?

**makesomeloveforjoan:** she can handle it

 **makesomeloveforjoan:** she's still pretty drunk anyway

**coffeegivesmelife:** uhhh

**makesomeloveforjoan:** and straight, cath

**coffeegivesmelife:** ok ok ok let's just move out

(the next day)

**rockyroad:** WAKE UP SLEEPYHEAD

**golden:** CATH

**mariavonthedrums:** CATH

**magswguitarbags:** CATH

**thebetteranne:** CATH

**maudthemom:** CATH

**coffeegivesmelife:** I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING THIS TIME I SWEARRRRRR

**kitkatkittykat:** can confirm, were both sober

**beheadedbitch:** cool

**bbbbessssiieeee:** @beheadedbitch ur just like that cuz u won

**beheadedbitch:** HAHAHA

**magswguitarbags:** dont laugh at mah gf

**thebetteranne:** SIMP

**magswguitarbags:** UR A BIGGER SIMP U FUCKING HIPPOGRIFF OF A SIMP

**beheadedbitch:** WOINGWON O N E T I M E

**golden:** stop

**maudthemom:** ok we're back to normal

**makesomeloveforjoan:** i don't think we were ever normal

**iguessimtheirmom:** that's just what makes our big family so....

 **iguessimtheirmom:** how do i explain this

**beheadedbitch:** the greatest fucking thing ever and u can never ever replace us

**kitkatkittykat:** I LOVE U MEANS UR NEVER EVER EVER GETTING RID OF ME

**iguessimtheirmom:** sure

**coffeegivesmelife:** just take it, it could've been worse

(an hour later)

**bbbbessssiieeee:** WAIT R WE JUST IGNORING THE FACT THAT JANE HAS A TIKTOK???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hit or miss. ah. way back in the musical.ly days. back when i actually had it downloaded lol. ahhhhh. days.  
> like not good or bad. just days.  
> because i feel nothing for this topic
> 
> aNYWAY HOPE YOU ENJOYED.  
> BYEEE
> 
> (ps, sorry it's short)


	33. the one where they're all as annoying as possible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> technically requested by @insanity_times_ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo yo so jo told me to bring this fic back for a chapter where they all annoy each other and yea u get this
> 
> and lol omg this fic is almost at 7000 hits wow i guess ppl love the crack
> 
> ok coming back during the middle of writing, it turned into some hurt/comfort as well so yea  
> tw: depression

**beheadedbitch:** YO YO YO YO YO

**thebetteranne:** w h a t

**beheadedbitch:** IM JOHN LAURENS IN THE PLACE TO BE

**thebetteranne:** TWO PINTS O SAM ADAMS BUT IM WORKIN ON THREE

**kitkatkittykat:** S T O P

**coffeegivesmelife:**....

**kitkatkittykat:** cathy pls dont

**coffeegivesmelife:** i'm srry

**iguessimtheirmom:** what's happening?

**coffeegivesmelife:** THOSE REDCOATS DONT WANT IT W ME

**kitkatkittykat:** noooooooooooo

**golden:** what did we say about lyric spamming?

**beheadedbitch:** but linaaaaaaa

**golden:** eat a cracker and stop

**kitkatkittykat:** sdgkhsdlk

**thebetteranne:** CATHERINE UR A HIPPOGRIFF

**beheadedbitch:** IT WAS ONE FUCKING TIME Y DO U DO THIS?

**thebetteranne:** clearly to annoy u

**golden:** say that again

 **golden:** actually if u get jane to turn this crap off, i will spare u

**thebetteranne:** what is so wrong about it

**golden:** i hate rom coms

**beheadedbitch:** another reason y i love u

**coffeegivesmelife:** y do u hate rom coms

 **coffeegivesmelife:** i get that they're cliche, i mean i'm writer

**golden:** what does that have to do this?

**kitkatkittykat:** IM GOING BULL

**thebetteranne:** NO DONT

**coffeegivesmelife:** WHO TF PROVOKED KITTY

 **coffeegivesmelife:** I WILL GO BULL IF NO ONE ANSWERS

**thebetteranne:** NO PLS DONT I WILL NOT BE PAYING FOR A NEW DOOR

 **thebetteranne:** A G A I N

**iguessimtheirmom:** i stole kat's remote

 **iguessimtheirmom:** and changed it to star wars

**thebetteranne:** oh

 **thebetteranne:** good girl

**golden:** STOP NO FLIRTING IN THE CHAT

**thebetteranne:** i will use all the winky faces i want bitch

 **thebetteranne:** ;)

 **thebetteranne:** ;)

 **thebetteranne:** ;)

 **thebetteranne:** ;)

**coffeegivesmelife:** i will steal ur turtle

**thebetteranne:** LE GASP

 **thebetteranne:** LEAVE HIM ALONE

**kitkatkittykat:** cathy ive cleared ur way go ahead

**thebetteranne:** WHAT THE FUCK Y DO U DO THIS TO ME

**iguessimtheirmom:** i will make u pay

 **iguessimtheirmom:** figuratively and literally in this case

**kitkatkittykat:** ur not very threatening

**coffeegivesmelife:** WHO THE FUCK LET A SPIDER IN THE HOUSE

**iguessimtheirmom:** WHY IS THERE A FUCKING SPIDER IN THE HOUSE

 **iguessimtheirmom:** ANNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**golden:** lil klil it

**coffeegivesmelife:** u

 **coffeegivesmelife:** u r not

**beheadedbitch:** i love that lyric spamming has caused this

**kitkatkittykat:** yea thx a lot

**beheadedbitch:** also

 **beheadedbitch:** im a muffin

**coffeegivesmelife:** N O

**kitkatkittykat:** nooooooooooo

**thebetteranne:** anne nO

**iguessimtheirmom:** what?

**beheadedbitch:** but its not muffin time?

**coffeegivesmelife:** let's not let it get to muffin time

**kitkatkittykat:** pls dont let it be muffin time

**beheadedbitch:** ill t r y

 **beheadedbitch:** i a m trying

**thebetteranne:** thats good, were here for u anne

**golden:** What's going on?

**thebetteranne:** uhhhh

 **thebetteranne:** not it

**kitkatkittykat:** not it

**coffeegivesmelife:** not it

 **coffeegivesmelife:** dangit

**golden:** Catherine Parr.

**iguessimtheirmom:** pls, we don't understand and with the way ur all reaction, it's concerning

**coffeegivesmelife:** alright lemme find it

 **coffeegivesmelife:** <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LACbVhgtx9I>

**iguessimtheirmom:** it sounds happy

**golden:** yea

 **golden:** oh

 **golden:** wait

 **golden:** w a i t

**beheadedbitch:** and here comes the undeserved affection

**thebetteranne:** anne

**kitkatkittykat:** pls dont say that

 **kitkatkittykat:** we love u

**golden:** Anne,

**beheadedbitch:** yea?

**golden:** You're not thinking of....

 **golden:** that

 **golden:** again, are you?

**beheadedbitch:** no no no

 **beheadedbitch:** i promised

 **beheadedbitch:** i dont wanna break it

**iguessimtheirmom:** Catherine, I hope you don't mind me contributing,

 **iguessimtheirmom:** but Anne, then why are you

 **iguessimtheirmom:** a muffin?

 **iguessimtheirmom:** Is that what you said?

**beheadedbitch:** idk

 **beheadedbitch:** i feel like a muffin

 **beheadedbitch:** thats how i feel like i can describe it

 **beheadedbitch:** its like i feel empty? or emotionless?

 **beheadedbitch:** probably not THAT far

 **beheadedbitch:** and just-

 **beheadedbitch:** idk i never know how to tell ppl

 **beheadedbitch:** i either underestimate it or overestimate it if u catch my drift

**coffeegivesmelife:** just try, pls

**thebetteranne:** u dont HAVE to, but u know were here

**beheadedbitch:** i can try, just be aware of that thing pls

**kitkatkittykat:** ofc annie

**beheadedbitch:** so theres these two ppl at work, rlly nice, i look up to them a lot

 **beheadedbitch:** theyre spouses and u know theyve always had a sort of frenemies/playful banter type thing

 **beheadedbitch:** (they were also on and off but idk if thats important)

 **beheadedbitch:** lately theyve been arguing a lot more?

 **beheadedbitch:** but i have no clue if its ACTUAL arguing or just them being them

 **beheadedbitch:** bc they always tell me theyre just discussing, and theyre pretty loud in general so idk how to feel

 **beheadedbitch:** and it makes me uncomfortable bc one its none of my business

 **beheadedbitch:** two theyre clearly stressed and trying to raise a toddler while trying to get other ppl to do what theyre supposed to do

 **beheadedbitch:** and three bc i just hate yelling in general, and i dont want to make them more upset than they already are

 **beheadedbitch:** i feel like i could disappear but that clearly wont work bc i made a promise

 **beheadedbitch:** and ik that that wont make anything better but worse

 **beheadedbitch:** so i just dont show it and dont tell

 **beheadedbitch:** and i joke all the time abt being a muffin

**thebetteranne:** first off, lets try to stop joking abt ur mental health

**beheadedbitch:** it helps

**thebetteranne:** does it?

**beheadedbitch:** i think so

 **beheadedbitch:** srry for spamming chat

**golden:** love u do NOT need to be srry

 **golden:** you've told me it takes a lot to open up about ur feelings

 **golden:** so tysm for pushing through and telling all of us

**iguessimtheirmom:** u should take a break if you need it

 **iguessimtheirmom:** and i'm sure we're all available for cuddles

**kitkatkittykat:** can confirm

**coffeegivesmelife:** pls don't go through this alone

**beheadedbitch:** im trying my best

**coffeegivesmelife:** that's all we need

**beheadedbitch:** thxxx

 **beheadedbitch:** can i distract myself?

**golden:** if that'll help

**beheadedbitch:** it will

 **beheadedbitch:** prepare for whiplash

**iguessimtheirmom:** huh?

**beheadedbitch** : anna ur turtle and door r gone

**thebetteranne:** WTF PARRWARD

**coffeegivesmelife:** kitty run

**kitkatkittykat:** THE DOGS R IN THE WAY

**thebetteranne:** YES GOOD DOGS KEEP THEM TRAPPEd

**iguessimtheirmom:** this is almost as bad whiplash as haus of holbein

**kitkatkittykat:** n o

**coffeegivesmelife:** don't even start

**beheadedbitch:** VELCOME TO ZE HAUS

**thebetteranne:** TO ZE HAUS OF HOLBEIN 

**beheadedbitch:** J A

**golden:** r u on grind?

**kitkatkittykat:** excause me wHAT

**thebetteranne:** wtfuck

**beheadedbitch:** how did u figure it out??????

**golden:** i was still in the house when u decided to play sincerely me on repeat

**coffeegivesmelife:** WTF SO NOW CATHERINE KNOWS????

 **coffeegivesmelife:** CATHERINE PLS

 **coffeegivesmelife:** WHAT IS GRIND

**golden:**. . .

 **golden:** not drugs

**beheadedbitch:** Y E S S S S S S

**thebetteranne:** FUCK JA

**kitkatkittykat:** les goooooooooo

**iguessimtheirmom:** cath it's okay

**coffeegivesmelife:** no it's not i need to knowww

_lina sent a private message to bo_

**lina:** love r u sure ur okay?

**bo:** im not

 **bo:** but this is enough

**lina:** r u sure?

**bo:** im just waiting it out

**lina:** if you need anything i'm here

 **lina:** and i'll always be here

**bo:** luv u lina

**lina:** love u to anne

**bo:** cuddles?

**lina:** ofc be right there

**bo:** <3

**lina:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im on day three of being a muffin but projecting onto anne (and writing some comfort for anne lol) seems to work


End file.
